You want me to tell you what I know about the pretty little girl next door? Well, I'm ready to begin, if you won't mind my talk; I'm only a boy, you know, and can't use fine words—that's all humbug.

My name is Tom Halstead. I am nephew to the Miss Brandlaws, who live at No. 7. The idea of calling my darling old friskies "The Bluejays!" (If you don't give me that Australian post stamp I saw in your desk, I'll tell 'em, too!) However, to go on with my story.

One morning last winter, just at the end of the Christmas holidays, while I was on a visit there, I didn't know what on earth to do with myself. So I caught Poddles (that's the poodle), dressed him up in Aunt Elsie's nightcap, tied a life preserver round him, and put him in the portable shower-bath, just for fun; it didn't hurt him a bit, and—would you believe it? the hateful thing hopped out, squealing murder, shook himself all over the carpet, scratched off the nightcap, and danced round the room with it in a fury, till it was in perfect rags.

Up rushed Aunt Elsie, and was so horrified when she saw the carpet and her cap in such a mess, and "darling doggie" all "wetsey-petsey," that she locked me up in my room for the rest of the day on bread and water! and there was gingerbread, with raisins in it, baking down stairs!! Horrid!!!

Of course I couldn't spend my time sucking my thumbs; so, like a sensible fellow, I set myself to find some better employment, and soon a grand idea came into my head. I had just finished reading a jolly old-fashioned novel I found in Uncle Herbert's room, called "The Castle Spectre: a Tale of Spain;" where a goose of a lover, such a spooney! had scrambled down from the top of a castle, hanging on to his bedclothes. Now, don't you see it? Perhaps not, so I'll explain.

My bedroom is the third floor, back room, always; and you know that piazza at the back of the house? Well, what did I do, but twitch off my bedcover—nice white one it was, too—tie it to the bedpost, and let the end hang out of the window. Then I scrambled out, and slid down the wall like a streak of lightning! You can't think what jolly fun it was!

There was lots of amusement in the yard; twelve cats on the fence to plague, and no end of snow to make balls and pelt the cook with; beside, the gingerbread was just baked, and I got a brown corner! So! there! while I was eating it, and it was so hot that it almost sizzled, all at once I heard a lot of noise in the next yard. Some boys seemed to be having a drill there; so I ran up the steps leading from the piazza to the ground, and looked over the fence. But lor now! what do you think? one of the boys was a girl! She had on long india-rubber boots, and I called out, "Go it, Boots!"

Then the little boy that was with her, who seemed to be her brother, looked so mad at me! and, really and truly, I couldn't help plaguing them a little. I know you think I was real mean; but if you had seen how funny they looked, in paper cocked hats, with turkey tails for feathers, and the little boy thumping a big tin saucepan for a drum, you would have laughed, too; so you needn't look so provoked, Neighbor Oldbird!

"Gee up, awkward squad!" I said; "double quick halt on the right flank! Ha-ahup!"

But the little girl only laughed good humoredly, and said: "Jimmy and I belong to the Seventh Regiment, and drill in the last fashion. Don't you want to come and learn the Lefferts Tactics?"

Wasn't she a nice little thing! Never got mad or anything, but just gave me back as good as I sent. I declare, I fell right smack in love with her that minute, and I don't care a fig now for the girl I met in dancing school, upon my word I don't; so I rushed back into the kitchen, coaxed the cook to give me two more hunks of gingerbread, and called out, "Won't you have some cake?"

They came running up on the piazza like lamplighters; and while they were eating the gingerbread, I was eating something I got especially for myself at the same time. Did you ever try it? You have a great big sour apple, as cold as it can be, and a tremendous pickled pepper, as hot as it can be; then you take first a bite of the pepper, and nearly burn all the skin off your throat, and then a bite of the apple to cool it again; and so on. It's gorgeous, I tell you!

Presently the little boy (whose name, as I said, was Jimmy), stopped his eating to ask me, "Do you live in New York?"

"No, I live at White Plains. I go to the Military Academy there; don't you want me to show you some drill?"

"Oh, Cousin Charley is going to teach us some time. He belongs to the Seventh Regiment. We love to be soldiers, though, and we know a boy, Freddy Jourdain his name is, who got up a whole regiment, and has parades, and went into camp, and everything."

"We have a camp at White Plains," I told them. "Do you ever go there in summer, Miss——" here I stopped, rather awkwardly, not knowing what her name was.

"Oh, I'm not 'Miss' anybody;" she said; "I'm Nelly; but we go to the seashore in summer 'most always."

"Can't you dress up in your uniform, and show us how you look at school?" said Jimmy.

"Yes, if you like;" here I remembered that the key of my room was in Aunt Elsie's pocket, and had to say, "but I can't get into my room now; I was locked in, and Aunt Elsie has the key."

"How do you come to be here, then?" said Nelly; "why, dear me, just look at the counterpane hanging out of the window; how funny!"

"Why, that's the way I got out!" I said; and so I told them all about "The Castle Spectre," and "Lord Alonzo Algernon" Spooneyman, and we got into such a perfect gig of laughter, that we nearly rode off in it! (Now, don't say that's not a good joke, or I'll not tell another word of my story.)

Just then out came Poddles, looking as surprised as ever; and Nelly exclaimed, "Oh, there's that funny old dog! what do you call him?"

"His name is Poddles!" said I; "I christened him."

"What a queer name!" said Jimmy; "let's take him into our house and see what Gipsey and he will do!"

"Good!" said I. So, without remembering that plaguey white spread, I cut over the piazza railings with Poddles under one arm, and we all three rushed up stairs together.

They had such a famous play room, with a splendid swing, and a teetertorter, and ten-pins, and I don't know what beside; and there was the nattiest little dog! but you know him, that "toy-terrier" of theirs. Poddles looked a greater fright than ever beside him; so, to pay him off, we put that wretched Pod into a basket, tied it fast to the swing, and swung him up to the ceiling. It frightened him half to death, and serve him right, for being so ugly! after which he and Gipsey went to sleep in a big rocking chair, as friendly as possible. Then I gave Nelly a splendid swing, "ran under," and cracked my cocoanut three times, beside making my arms ache like everything; but I didn't care, she was such a dear little thing.

Afterward Jimmy went and got a great plateful of rosy apples; and just as we were eating them, and having such fun, up came one of our girls, and said that "Miss Brandlaw wanted Master Tom right home!" Wasn't it hateful? But, of course, I had to go; so I bundled Poddles under my arm again, bid them good-by, and walked off with Mary; but I poked her ribs and set Poddles at her all the way, which was some comfort.

I expected a scolding when I came home, and I didn't have one—oh no! Aunt Elsie wanted to know where I thought I should die when I went to—(no,
I believe it was the other way,
but never mind)—if I hung best bed spreads out of the window, and left my room without permission? besides informing me that she should write to ma', and have me sent for. Finally, she marched me up stairs again; and when I said I must have something to do to keep me out of mischief, she gave me a Sunday school book to read, and took herself off.

Of course you will say I was dreadfully wicked not to like the Sunday school book, but I couldn't. It was so full of hard names and long words, and was all about sanctification and justification and regeneration, and how was I to understand a word of it? I love Bible stories, but I don't think there is a boy or girl who understands hard doctrines. Do you, Neighbor Oldbird?

I pretty soon gave up that employment, and amused myself instead with pelting the cats on the fence with a few marbles, and trying on my uniform, to see how I looked in it; until Aunt Elsie relented, I suppose, for she came up and asked me through the keyhole if I was sorry, and wouldn't do any more. You can fancy what my answer was, and after dinner I got permission to go out and play on the sidewalk.

Neighbor Nelly and Jimmy joined me there pretty soon, and we had such fun playing "tag" and driving hoop. It wasn't hoop time, to be sure, but that was no matter. Then, when we were tired of that, we all sat down together on the upper step of No. 9, and began talking about their school and mine, and what we learned.

"Do you ever learn pieces of poetry?" asked Nelly. "My teacher, Miss Backboard, always gives the girls each a piece of poetry every Friday; so we call that poetry day."

"I used to learn pieces too," I said; "but I don't care much for poetry unless it's funny."

"Tell us a funny piece," said Jimmy.

"Ah yes, do!" added Nelly; and, of course, when a lady asked me I had to, though I felt pretty bashful; so I began.

"There!" said I, when I had finished, and it quite wore my tongue thin to repeat such a long piece of poetry. "What do you think of that for a story?"

"I think it is real funny," said Nelly, laughing; "I wish I knew something to tell."

"I can say a funny piece!" shouted Jimmy.

"Well, say it, then," we two—Nelly and I—put in.

Up he jumped right off, struck a funny attitude, and began:

"Did you ever hear anything so ridiculous as that?" cried Nelly. "Poor Casabianca! I used to cry over him dreadfully; but I shall never think of him now without laughing. Where did you learn that, Jimmy?"

"Oh, Harry Agnew told it to me; he said he repeated it one day in school, when the master asked him if he could say a piece of poetry, and everybody burst out laughing. The master laughed too; so he couldn't put anybody down for a bad mark, though Harry was afraid he would."

"That was almost equal to the trick we played at school," said I. "We wanted the doctor to give us a holiday, but he didn't seem to see it; so when we were called up for our reading after recess, we were told to read Montgomery's poem called 'Questions to Birds and their Answers.' One of the verses is about the swallow, and reads thus:

How we all laughed over this; it was real true, too; and pretty soon after, as it was getting dark, I bid them good-by and ran home.

Next morning, what should Aunt Elsie and Aunt Ruth (Aunt Priscilla was away on a visit) take into their heads, but that they hadn't had any fun house-cleaning—(I suppose they must think it's fun, or they wouldn't do it so often)—for ever so long; so nothing would suit them but to set the whole house in an uproar as quick as possible. Of course, I was in the way, whether I stayed in the garret or the kitchen; knocked down three pails and a scrubbing brush every time I went down stairs, nearly drowned Poddles in hot soapsuds, splashed myself all over with whitewash trying to "do" the kitchen ceiling (on my own account, when nobody was by), until I looked as if I had been out in a snowstorm, and watering the windows outside with the long hosepipe, until every one of them was dripping inside like a waterfall.

Now, Neighbor Nelly and Jimmy had been looking out of their parlor window, and advising me which were the best parts of our windows to play on, when, all of a sudden, Nelly said:

"Why, Tom, it doesn't half clean the panes to do them that way; they ought to be washed with soap and hot water. Suppose we try it? Only think!" she went on, "how much your aunties would be obliged to us if we were to find out a new way to make windows clean, ever so much better than the old one!"

"Splendid!" said I and Jimmy together. "Come, let's try it right away!"

With that, Nelly and Jimmy came into our house, and into the front basement; Aunt Elsie and Aunt Ruth were both up stairs; so we had the two lower stories all to ourselves.

As Nelly was afraid of spoiling her frock, I dived into the cook's dresser drawer, where she keeps her own table covers and clean dish cloths, and fished out a great big brown roller-towel, which we pinned round her neck, making her look in front as if she was tied up in a potato sack, with only her head left out. Then Jimmy and I took off our nice jackets, rolled up our shirt sleeves, lugged in three big yellow dishes full of hot water, spilling plenty on the way, found a long bar of brown soap, and helped ourselves to three more of Bridget's clean towels; and then we all three began scrubbing away at the windows!

Such fun as we had! We put on the greatest lot of soap, and paid away with both hands, so as to make them good and clean, laughing and talking all the time; and when we thought the water had been used enough, or, rather when it was nearly all spilt, we took up our yellow bowls and marched into the kitchen for more.

Our boiler, you must know, is a tin affair, like a large soup kettle without the handle, and has a faucet in front to draw the water off. We put it on the middle of the range, and keep it always full and boiling; and now, instead of filling our dishes right away, we began playing the kitchen was a steamboat, and the water heater the boiler, just ready to burst; so, of course, it was necessary to let off steam, which we did by drawing a little water at a time from the faucet into one of our yellow dishes, and tilting it back again as soon as the dish was full, beside "tooting," as loud as we could, to represent the commotion going on to perfection. We were soon so busy over this, that we forgot all about the front basement windows for ever so long, until we heard Aunt Elsie calling out, "Tom! Tom! where are you?"

"Here I am, Aunt Elsie! come right along! Here we all are, washing the windows for you as nice as anything!"

Down marched Aunt Elsie, short order; and the minute she came into the basement we heard her give an "O——h!" about a quarter of a mile long. We all rushed to ask what was the matter; and such a pickle as the windows were in you never did see. The soap was in streaks, and smears, and lumps all over the panes, making them look as if somebody had spilt a lot of hasty pudding on them, and it had stuck fast. Of course, as we left them so long, the soap had hardened on; and poor Nelly, frightened half out of her wits, began to cry. That put me up, I can tell you; I was determined Aunt Elsie shouldn't scold her; so I begged her not to be angry with anybody but me, for it wasn't their fault at all.

"And I must say you are old enough to know better, Tom," said my aunt, looking at me reproachfully over the tops of her spectacles; "and as a punishment, you must get all the soap off the window before you have any dinner. The children had better go home."

But now, what do you think that darling of a Nelly, and Jimmy did? They declared I shouldn't do it all alone by myself, but they would stay and help me; so, after Aunt Elsie had been coaxed to let us, we filled our dishes again, and went to work as busy as bees. It was pretty hard work getting the soap off, but we made a joke of it, and by the time the windows were fairly polished up, as bright as new pins, we were in a perfect frolic. I expect Nelly's bright eyes had something to do with it, for Aunt Elsie, after we had finished, and come shouting to her with our faces as red as fire, and considerable brown soap on us in spots, said, "we were famous workpeople," and gave us New Year's cookies, and almonds, and raisins for lunch. I had a Philopoena among my nuts, which I ate with Nelly; and pretty soon after they went home.

I did hope she would catch me on the Philopoena, because I had something that I meant to give her all along; and this would be a famous chance. It was a nest of little boxes, made of plaid papier-machÉ, about a dozen, one inside the other; and when you came to the very last, and had opened that, there was a gold thimble and scissors, and a little gold bodkin, a needlecase full of tiny needles, and a puncher, just big enough for the queen of the fairies; I won it at a raffle on Christmas Eve, and kept it to give to some little girl, for, of course, it wasn't any use to me; what could I do with a thimble and needles? Sure enough, when I looked out of the back parlor window next morning, Neighbor Nelly looked out of her window, said with a saucy smile, "Good morning, Mr. Tom—Philopoena!" and popped back again.

"Good!" I said. So, after breakfast, I asked Aunt Elsie for a nice sheet of paper and a new pen, and then I ran up to my own room, and sat down to write a little note to my neighbor. I'm sure, that showed how much I liked her, if anything could, for I'd rather do a sum in compound fractions, or a French exercise, than write a note. It quite gives me the toothache; but at last I wrote something very pretty, as, I'm sure, you will say when I repeat it to you. This is what I said:

Then I packed up the boxes and the letter in nice white paper, and coaxed Mary to take it in right away; and you can't tell how many pretty, smiling thanks I had in return.

But you think I am making my story too long, Neighbor Oldbird? Well, perhaps I am, but there seems to be so much to tell about Nelly, and the nice times we had together, that I don't know when to stop. I am 'most through now.

The day I sent her the Philopoena present was the last of my stay in town; and after I had packed up my clothes ready to start (with a gorgeous plum cake and two jars of raspberry jam in a box, which my dear old Friskies gave me,—they always do make everything of me, in spite of their lectures), I went to Uncle Herbert's room to bid him good-by, for I knew I should not see him again before I started, and he made me the best present of all. It was a dear little watch and chain; for he said, as I was nearly fifteen, I was quite old enough to take care of one. Wasn't that kind of him?

Well, dear me, I don't want to say good-by a bit, and I did not then; but, of course, it had to come, and I shook hands with my dear little friends, only wishing to goodness that I lived in New York.

We promised about twenty-five times apiece always to be friends; and then I kissed Aunt Elsie and Aunt Ruth, pulled Poddles' ears for good-by, and pranced off all alone; of course, boys that have watches are plenty big enough to go from New York to White Plains by themselves. I suppose we always shall stay there, for papa is abominably fond of the country; but just wait until I am a man, and see if I don't come to live in New York, and marry Neighbor Nelly, if she will have me. Mind you keep that last remark a secret, now, Neighbor Oldbird! That's all there is about it.