CHAPTER XI 'TWIXT SEA AND SKY

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Myra never forgot Jim Airth’s prayer. Instinctively she knew it to be the first time he had voiced his soul’s thanksgiving or petitions in the presence of another. Also she realised that, for the first time in her whole life, prayer became to her a reality. As she crouched on the ledge beside him, shaking uncontrollably, so that, but for his arm about her, she must have lost her balance and fallen; as she heard that strong soul expressing in simple unorthodox language its gratitude for life and safety, mingled with earnest petition for keeping through the night and complete deliverance in the morning; it seemed to Myra that the heavens opened, and the felt presence of God surrounded them in their strange isolation.

An immense peace filled her. By the time those disjointed halting sentences were finished, Myra had ceased trembling; and when Jim Airth, suddenly at a loss how else to wind up his prayer, commenced “Our Father, Who art in heaven,” Myra’s sweet voice united with his, full of an earnest fervour of petition.

At the final words, Jim Airth withdrew his arm, and a shy silence fell between them. The emotion of the mind had awakened an awkwardness of body. In that uniting “Our Father,” their souls had leapt on, beyond where their bodies were quite prepared to follow.

Lady Ingleby saved the situation. She turned to Jim Airth, with that impulsive sweetness which could never be withstood. In the rapidly deepening twilight, he could just see the large wistful grey eyes, in the white oval of her face.

“Do you know,” she said, “I really couldn’t possibly sit all night, on a ledge the size of a Chesterfield sofa, with a person I had to call ‘Mr.’ I could only sit there with an old and intimate friend, who would naturally call me ‘Myra,’ and whom I might call ‘Jim.’ Unless I may call you ‘Jim,’ I shall insist on climbing down and swimming home. And if you address me as ‘Mrs. O’Mara,’ I shall certainly become hysterical, and tumble off!”

“Why of course,” said Jim Airth. “I hate titles of any kind. I come of an old Quaker stock, and plain names with no prefixes always seem best to me. And are we not old and trusted friends? Was not each of those minutes on the face of the cliff, a year? While that second which elapsed between the slipping of my knife from my right hand and the catching of it, against my knee, by my left, may go at ten years! Ah, think if it had dropped altogether! No, don’t think. We were barely half way up. Now you must contrive to put on your shoes and stockings.” He produced them from his pocket. “And then we must find out how to place ourselves most comfortably and safely. We have but one enemy to fight during the next seven hours—cramp. You must tell me immediately if you feel it threatening anywhere, I have done a lot of scouting in my time, and know a dodge or two. I also know what it is to lie in one position for hours, not daring to move a muscle, the cold sweat pouring off my face, simply from the agonies of cramp. We must guard against that.”

“Jim,” said Myra, “how long shall we have to sit here?”

He made a quick movement, as if the sound of his name from her lips for the first time, meant much to him; and there was in his voice an added depth of joyousness, as he answered:

“It would be impossible to climb from here to the top of the cliff. When I came down, I had a sheer drop of ten feet. You see the cliff slightly overhangs just above us. So far as the tide is concerned we might clamber down in three hours; but there is no moon, and by then, it will be pitch dark. We must have light for our descent, if I am to land you safe and unshaken at the bottom. Dawn should be breaking soon after three. The sun rises to-morrow at 3.44; but it will be quite light before then. I think we may expect to reach the Moorhead Inn by 4 A.M. Let us hope Miss Murgatroyd will not be looking out of her window, as we stroll up the path.”

“What are they all thinking now?” questioned Lady Ingleby.

“I don’t know, and I don’t care,” said Jim Airth, gaily. “You’re alive, and I’m alive; and we’ve done a record climb! Nothing else matters.”

“No, but seriously, Jim?”

“Well, seriously, it is very unlikely that I shall be missed at all. I often dine elsewhere, and let myself in quite late; or stop out altogether. How about you?”

“Why, curiously enough,” said Myra, “before coming out I locked my bedroom door. I have the key here. I had left some papers lying about—I am not a very tidy person. On the only other occasion upon which I locked my door, I omitted dinner altogether, and went to bed on returning from my evening walk. I am supposed to be doing a ‘rest-cure’ here. The maid tried my door, went away, and did not turn up again until next morning. Most likely she has done the same to-night.”

“Then I don’t suppose they will send out a search-party,” said Jim Airth.

“No. We are so alone down here. We only matter to ourselves,” said Myra.

“And to each other,” said Jim Airth, quietly.

Myra’s heart stood still.

Those four words, spoken so simply by that deep tender voice, meant more to her than any words had ever meant. They meant so much, that they made for themselves a silence—a vast holy temple of wonder and realisation wherein they echoed back and forth, repeating themselves again and again.

The two on the ledge sat listening.

The chant of mutual possession, so suddenly set going, was too beautiful a thing to be interrupted by other words.

Even Lady Ingleby’s unfailing habit of tactful speech was not allowed to spoil the deep sweetness of this unexpected situation. Myra’s heart was waking; and when the heart is stirred, the mind sometimes forgets to be tactful.

At length:—“Don’t you remember,” he said, very low, “what I told you before we began to climb? Did I not say, that if we succeeded in reaching the ledge safely, we should owe our lives to each other? Well, we did; and—we do.”

“Ah, no,” cried Myra, impulsively. “No, Jim Airth! You—glad, and safe, and free—were walking along the top of these cliffs. I, in my senseless folly, lay sleeping on the sand below, while the tide rose around me. You came down into danger to save me, risking your life in so doing. I owe you my life, Jim Airth; you owe me nothing.”

The man beside her turned and looked at her, with his quiet whimsical smile.

“I am not accustomed to have my statements amended,” he said, drily.

It was growing so dark, they could only just discern each other’s faces.

Lady Ingleby laughed. She was so unused to that kind of remark, that, at the moment she could frame no suitable reply.

Presently:—“I suppose I really owe my life to my scarlet parasol,” she said. “Had it not attracted your attention, you would not have seen me.”

“Should I not?” questioned Jim Airth, his eyes on the white loveliness of her face. “Since I saw you first, on the afternoon of your arrival, have you ever once come within my range of vision without my seeing you, and taking in every detail?”

“On the afternoon of my arrival?” questioned Lady Ingleby, astonished.

“Yes,” replied Jim Airth, deliberately. “Seven o’clock, on the first of June. I stood at the smoking-room window, at a loose end of all things; sick of myself, dissatisfied with my manuscript, tired of fried fish—don’t laugh; small things, as well as great, go to make up the sum of a man’s depression. Then the gate swung back, and YOU—in golden capitals—the sunlight in your eyes, came up the garden path. I judged you to be a woman grown, in years perhaps not far short of my own age; I guessed you a woman of the world, with a position to fill, and a knowledge of men and things. Yet you looked just a lovely child, stepping into fairy-land; the joyful surprise of unexpected holiday danced in your radiant eyes. Since then, the beautiful side of life has always been you—YOU, in golden capitals.”

Jim Airth paused, and sat silent.

It was quite dark now.

Myra slipped her hand into his, which closed upon it with a strong unhesitating clasp.

“Go on, Jim,” she said, softly.

“I went out into the hall, and saw your name in the visitors’ book. The ink was still wet. The handwriting was that of the holiday-child—I should like to set you copies! The name surprised me—agreeably. I had expected to be able at once to place the woman who had walked up the path. It was a surprise and a relief to find that my Fairy-land Princess was not after all a fashionable beauty or a society leader, but owned just a simple Irish name, and lived at a Lodge.”

“Go on, Jim,” said Lady Ingleby, rather tremulously.

“Then the name ‘Shenstone’ interested me, because I know the Inglebys—at least, I knew Lord Ingleby, well; and I shall soon know Lady Ingleby. In fact I have written to-day asking for an interview. I must see her on business connected with notes of her husband’s which, if she gives permission, are to be embodied in my book. I suppose if you live near Shenstone Park you know the Inglebys?”

“Yes,” said Myra. “But tell me, Jim; if—if you noticed so much that first day; if you were—interested; if you wanted to set me copies—yes, I know I write a shocking hand;—why would you never look at me? Why were you so stiff and unfriendly? Why were you not as nice to me as you were to Susie, for instance?”

Jim Airth sat long in silence, staring out into the darkness. At last he said:

“I want to tell you. Of course, I must tell you. But—may I ask a few questions first?”

Lady Ingleby also gazed unseeingly into the darkness; but she leaned a little nearer to the broad shoulder beside her. “Ask me what you will,” she said. “There is nothing, in my whole life, I would not tell you, Jim Airth.”

Her cheek was so close to the rough Norfolk jacket, that if it had moved a shade nearer, she would have rested against it. But it did not move; only, the clasp on her hand tightened.

“Were you married very young?” asked Jim Airth.

“I was not quite eighteen. It is ten years ago.”

“Did you marry for love?”

There was a long silence, while both looked steadily into the darkness.

Then Myra answered, speaking very slowly. “To be quite honest, I think I married chiefly to escape from a very unhappy home. Also I was very young, and knew nothing—nothing of life, and nothing of love; and—how can I explain, Jim Airth?—I have not learnt much during these ten long years.”

“Have you been unhappy?” He asked the question very low.

“Not exactly unhappy. My husband was a very good man; kind and patient, beyond words, towards me. But I often vaguely felt I was missing the Best in life. Now—I know I was.”

“How long have you been—How long has he been dead?” The deep voice was so tender, that the question could bring no pain.

“Seven months,” replied Lady Ingleby. “My husband was killed in the assault on Targai.”

“At Targai!” exclaimed Jim Airth, surprised into betraying his astonishment. Then at once recovering himself: “Ah, yes; of course. Seven months. I was there, you know.”

But, within himself, he was thinking rapidly, and much was becoming clear.

Sergeant O’Mara! Was it possible? An exquisite refined woman such as this, bearing about her the unmistakable hall-mark of high birth and perfect breeding? The Sergeant was a fine fellow, and superior—but, good Lord! Her husband! Yet girls of eighteen do foolish things, and repent ever after. A runaway match from an unhappy home; then cast off by her relations, and now left friendless and alone. But—Sergeant O’Mara! Yet no other O’Mara fell at Targai; and there was some link between him and Lord Ingleby.

Then, into his musing, came Myra’s soft voice, from close beside him, in the darkness: “My husband was always good to me; but——”

And Jim Airth laid his other hand over the one he held. “I am sure he was,” he said, gently. “But if you had been older, and had known more of love and life you would have done differently. Don’t try to explain. I understand.”

And Myra gladly left it at that. It would have been so very difficult to explain further, without explaining Michael; and all that really mattered was, that—with or without explanation—Jim Airth understood.

“And now—tell me,” she suggested, softly.

“Ah, yes,” he said, pulling himself together, with an effort. “My experience also misses the Best, and likewise covers ten long years. But it is a harder one than yours. I married, when a boy of twenty-one, a woman, older than myself; supremely beautiful. I went mad over her loveliness. Nothing seemed to count or matter, but that. I knew she was not a good woman, but I thought she might become so; and even if she didn’t it made no difference. I wanted her. Afterwards I found she had laughed at me, all the time. Also, there had all the time been another—an older man than I—who had laughed with her. He had not been in a position to marry her when I did; but two years later, he came into money. Then—she left me.”

Jim Airth paused. His voice was hard with pain. The night was very black. In the dark silence they could hear the rhythmic thunder of the waves pounding monotonously against the cliff below.

“I divorced her, of course; and he married her; but I went abroad, and stayed abroad. I never could look upon her as other than my wife. She had made a hell of my life; robbed me of every illusion; wrecked my ideals; imbittered my youth. But I had said, before God, that I took her for my wife, until death parted us; and, so long as we were both alive, what power could free me from that solemn oath? It seemed to me that by remaining in another hemisphere, I made her second marriage less sinful. Often, at first, I was tempted to shoot myself, as a means of righting this other wrong. But in time I outgrew that morbidness, and realised that though Love is good, Life is the greatest gift of all. To throw it away, voluntarily, is an unpardonable sin. The suicide’s punishment should be loss of immortality. Well, I found work to do, of all sorts, in America, and elsewhere. And a year ago—she died. I should have come straight home, only I was booked for that muddle on the frontier they called ‘a war.’ I got fever after Targai; was invalided home; and here I am recruiting and finishing my book. Now you can understand why loveliness in a woman, fills me with a sort of panic, even while a part of me still leaps up instinctively to worship it. I had often said to myself that if I ever ventured upon matrimony again, it should be a plain face, and a noble heart; though all the while I knew I should never bring myself really to want the plain face. And yet, just as the burnt child dreads the fire, I have always tried to look away from beauty. Only—my Fairy-land Princess, may I say it?—days ago I began to feel certain that in you—YOU in golden capitals—the loveliness and the noble heart went together. But from the moment when, stepping out of the sunset, you walked up the garden path, right into my heart, the fact of YOU, just being what you are, and being here, meant so much to me, that I did not dare let it mean more. Somehow I never connected you with widowhood; and not until you said this evening on the shore: ‘I am a soldier’s widow,’ did I know that you were free.—There! Now you have heard all there is to hear. I made a bad mistake at the beginning; but I hope I am not the sort of chap you need mind sitting on a ledge with, and calling ‘Jim’.”

For answer, Myra’s cheek came trustfully to rest against the sleeve of the rough tweed coat. “Jim,” she said; “Oh, Jim!”


Presently: “So you know the Inglebys?” remarked Jim Airth.

“Yes,” said Myra.

“Is ‘The Lodge’ near Shenstone Park?”

“The Lodge is in the park. It is not at any of the gates.—I am not a gate-keeper, Jim!—It is a pretty little house, standing by itself, just inside the north entrance.”

“Do you rent it from them?”

Myra hesitated, but only for the fraction of a second. “No; it is my own. Lord Ingleby gave it to me.”

Lord Ingleby?” Jim Airth’s voice sounded like knitted brows. “Why not Lady Ingleby?”

“It was not hers, to give. All that is hers, was his.”

“I see. Which of them did you know first?”

“I have known Lady Ingleby all my life,” said Myra, truthfully; “and I have known Lord Ingleby since his marriage.”

“Ah. Then he became your friend, because he married her?”

Myra laughed. “Yes,” she said. “I suppose so.”

“What’s the joke?”

“Only that it struck me as an amusing way of putting it; but it is undoubtedly true.”

“Have they any children?”

Myra’s voice shook slightly. “No, none. Why do you ask?”

“Well, in the campaign, I often shared Lord Ingleby’s tent; and he used to talk in his sleep.”

“Yes?”

“There was one name he often called and repeated.”

Lady Ingleby’s heart stood still.

“Yes?” she said, hardly breathing.

“It was ‘Peter’,” continued Jim Airth. “The night before he was killed, he kept turning in his sleep and saying: ‘Peter! Hullo, little Peter! Come here!’ I thought perhaps he had a little son named Peter.”

“He had no son,” said Lady Ingleby, controlling her voice with effort. “Peter was a dog of which he was very fond. Was that the only name he spoke?”

“The only one I ever heard,” replied Jim Airth.

Then suddenly Lady Ingleby clasped both hands round his arm.

“Jim,” she whispered, brokenly, “Not once have you spoken my name. It was a bargain. We were to be old and intimate friends. I seem to have been calling you ‘Jim’ all my life! But you have not yet called me ‘Myra,’ Let me hear it now, please.”

Jim Airth laid his big hand over both of hers.

“I can’t,” he said. “Hush! I can’t. Not up here—it means too much. Wait until we get back to earth again. Then—Oh, I say! Can’t you help?”

This kind of emotion was an unknown quantity to Lady Ingleby. So was the wild beating of her own heart. But she knew the situation called for tact, and was not tactful speech always her special forte?

“Jim,” she said, “are you not frightfully hungry? I should be; only I had an enormous tea before coming out. Would you like to hear what I had for tea? No. I am afraid it would make you feel worse. I suppose dinner at the inn was over, long ago. I wonder what variation of fried fish they had, and whether Miss Susannah choked over a fish-bone, and had to be requested to leave the room. Oh, do you remember that evening? You looked so dismayed and alarmed, I quite thought you were going to the rescue! I wonder what time it is?”

“We can soon tell that,” said Jim Airth, cheerfully. He dived into his pocket, produced a matchbox which he had long been fingering turn about with his pipe and tobacco-pouch, struck a light, and looked at his watch. Myra saw the lean brown face, in the weird flare of the match. She also saw the horrid depth so close to them, which she had almost forgotten. A sense of dizziness came over her. She longed to cling to his arm; but he had drawn it resolutely away.

“Half past ten,” said Jim Airth. “Miss Murgatroyd has donned her night-cap. Miss Eliza has sighed: ‘Good-night, summer, good-night, good-night,’ at her open lattice; and Susie, folding her plump hands, has said: ‘Now I lay me.’”

Myra laughed. “And they will all be listening for you to dump out your big boots,” she said. “That is always your ‘Good-night’ to the otherwise silent house.”

“No, really? Does it make a noise?” said Jim Airth, ruefully. “Never again——?”

“Oh, but you must,” said Myra. “I love—I mean Susie loves the sound, and listens for it. Jim, that match reminds me:—why don’t you smoke? Surely it would help the hunger, and be comfortable and cheering.”

Jim Airth’s pipe and pouch were out in a twinkling.

“Sure you don’t mind? It doesn’t make you sick, or give you a headache?”

“No, I think I like it,” said Myra. “In fact, I am sure I like it. That is, I like to sit beside it. No, I don’t do it myself.”

Another match flared, and again she saw the chasm, and the nearness of the edge. She bore it until the pipe was drawing well. Then: “Oh, Jim,” she said, “I am so sorry; but I am afraid I am becoming dizzy. I feel as though I must fall over.” She gave a half sob.

Jim Airth turned, instantly alert.

“Nonsense,” he said, but the sharp word sounded tender. “Four good feet of width are as safe as forty. Change your position a bit.” He put his arm around her, and moved her so that she leant more completely against the cliff at their backs. “Now forget the edge,” he said, “and listen. I am going to tell you camp yarns, and tales of the Wild West.”

Then as they sat on in the darkness, Jim Airth smoked and talked, painting vivid word-pictures of life and adventure in other lands. And Myra listened, absorbed and enchanted; every moment realising more fully, as he unconsciously revealed it, the manly strength and honest simplicity of his big nature, with its fun and its fire; its huge capacity for enjoyment; its corresponding capacity for pain.

And, as she listened, her heart said: “Oh, my cosmopolitan cowboy! Thank God you found no title in the book, to put you off. Thank God you found no name which you could ‘place,’ relegating its poor possessor to the ranks of ‘society leaders’ in which you would have had no share. And, oh! most of all, I thank God for the doctor’s wise injunction: ‘Leave behind you your own identity’!”


                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                           

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