"John," said Mrs. Sanscript to her husband one evening last week, "I've been reading the paper."—"That's nothin'," grunted John: "I've seen people before who read newspapers."—"Yes; but there are several things in the paper I can't understand."—"Then don't read 'em."—"What do they mean by the strike, John? What is a strike, anyhow?"—"A strike is where they have struck;" and Sanscript knocked the ashes from his cigar. "I don't grasp your meaning exactly," said Mrs. Sanscript, with a puzzled look. "Now, these strikers have stopped all the railroad-trains in the country. Why did they do it?"—"To prevent 'em from running."—"Yes, but why didn't they want trains to run?"—"Because they wanted more money for running them."—"Do they pay more for stopping trains than for running them?"—"No, you stupid woman!"—"Then why in the world did they stop 'em? why didn't they run more of 'em, or run 'em faster? Seems to me that would pay better."—"Mary Ann, you will never surround the problem."—"Maybe not, John. Some things are gotten up purposely to bother women. Now here is a column headed 'Base-Ball.' What is base-ball, John?"—"Don't you know what base-ball is? Happy woman! you have not lived in vain."—"Here it says that 'The Hartfords could not collar Cumming's curves.' What under the sun are Cumming's curves?"—"It's the way he delivers the ball."—"Is the ball chained?"—"No, you booby!"—"Then how does he deliver it?"—"I mean, pitches it."—"Oh! Now here it says Jones muffed a ball after a hard run. What was a ball doing after a hard run?"—"Hadn't you better confine your research to the obituary and marriage columns, Mary, with an occasional advertisement thrown in to vary the monotony?"—"Yes, but, John, I want to know! There's Mrs. Racket, over the way, who goes to all the base-ball games, and comes home to talk me blind about 'fly fouls,' 'base hits,' 'sky-scrapers,' and all those things. For heaven's sake, John, what is a sky-scraper?"—"Compose yourself, old woman. You are treading on dangerous ground; your feet are on slippery rocks, while raging billows roll beneath."—"Mercy on me! What do you mean?"—"I mean, my dear madam, that whenever a woman begins to pry about among three strikes, fair balls, base hits, daisy cutters, home runs, and kindred subjects, she's in danger of being lost."—"Well, I confess I'm completely lost to know what this newspaper means when it says Addy stole a base, while the spectators applauded. Have we come to such a pass that society will applaud a theft? Why wasn't Addy arrested? Now here's Manning put out by Start, assisted by Carey, and I can't see that he did any thing wrong, either. Jemima Christopher! Here it says that Pike flew out. I don't believe a word of it. I never saw a man fly yet, and I won't believe it can be done till I see it with my own eyes. John, what makes these newspaper men lie so horribly?"

John was asleep; and Mrs. Sanscript turned gloomily, not to say sceptically, to the letter-list for information. Newspapers were not made for women.