Oh! I had de vorst dime lasd veek dot you effer saw. Katrina (dot vos mine frau) vent avay to make a liddle bicnic, und as I vas been hafin' de shake und agers und didn't feel pooty goot, I shtayed to home.

Vell, as I vas valkin' arount de parn yart, I saw dot same olt plue hen coom out from unter der parn sayin': "Kut, kut, ka-dah-kut; kut, kut, ka-dah-kut," und dot puts me in mint of a shoke dot Katrina mait on me von tay: she sait dot I autto vas bin a olt rooster, cos de hens called me effery dime ven day lait a aigs. Dot vas a pooty goot shoke on me. Vell, as I vas saying, I saw dot olt plue hen coom out from unter de parn, und I tought to myself, meppy dere vas a nest of aigs unter dere; so I pull oud half a tozzen more sdones, und mait a hole so pig as I can crawl unter, und den as I vas crawlin' arount unter a lookin' for some nest mit aigs, all at once I spiet de pootiest liddle kat vat I effer seen; he vas all plack mit vite shtripes, und vas shnuggled ub in a little pall fahst asleeb.

Vell, ve vas bin vantin' a kat because dere vas so many mouses in de house, und I tought uf I kin git dot von I'll make Katrina a little surbrise barty; so I krawl along so sdill as never vas, till I got ub close to him, den I mait a grab und I ketched him by the neck so dot he dont kin pite me; but ach, mine gootness, vat shmell, vorse as a huntred parrels of limburgher! I tought I had stepped on someding dot vas deat, und proke him mit my knees. I vas most shoke mit dot shmell; but I held dot liddle kat up close to me und klimb oud so kwick as I can. Ven I got oud in de parn yart, dere vas pig Chake Moser goin' py, und ven he seen me, he sait, "Sockery, you olt deutch fool, vot are you doin' mit dot skunk?"—"Shkunk!" I sait, "I tought dot vas a liddle kat;" und I drop him so quick like he was hot.

Vell, Chake, he laf like he vould kill himself; und I ask him vot I kin do to git me off dot shmell. He sait dot de only ding vas to be perried in de ground till de earth absorp de shmell; und he sait he vould tig de hole und fix me in, if I vish. Vell, I dink dot is very goot of Chake, und I tought if I can get me dot shmell off before Katrina cooms home, I von't say any ding about dot liddle kat to anypody. So Chake dig de hole, und I sit down in it und vas perried up to de neck; den Chake sait he vas in a hurry und he must go to de willage, und he vent avay. Booty soon kwick a fly lite on my face, und I koodn't prush him off, cos my arms vas perried doo; und booty soon more as a hundret flies und effery ding vas krawl all ofer my het, und I shpit and plow, und vink my face dill I tink I vas gone crazy. Bimepy I heart a noise doun de roat, und I looked und dere vas apoud every man, vooman, und shildren in de willage, mit shpades, mit bic-axes, mit shuffles, mit efery dings, und all runnin rite ub de hill to my house; in a minnit more as dwenty vas in der yart, und ven dey see me perried to de chin, und vinkin und shpitten at dem flies, dere eyes shtuck oud more as a half a feet, und Dick Klaus sait, "Vot vas you doin dere, Sockery?"

Vell, I see dot dere vas no use drying to keep dot shdill, so I told dem all aboud dot liddle kat; und, my chimminy cracious! you kood hear dem fellows laff more as a mile.

You see dot shackass of a Chake Moser run und told dem in de willage dot dere vas a man perried alive up to Kadahcut's, so of course eferypody coom to git him oud.

Vell, dey tig me oud, und I trow away dem clothes, und vash, und vash; but ven Katrina coom ad nide, I shmell so dot she mait me sleeb in de parn for a whole veek.

I tink I shall moof avay; eferypody vants to know if I vant to py a kat, und I don'd kan shtand dis much longer yet.