"Mr. Hoffenstein," said Herman, as he folded up a pair of pants, and placed them on a pile, "if you don't haf any objections, I vould like to get from de store avay von efening, und go mit de soldiers to de Spanish Fort."

"Vell, Herman, I dinks you had better keep avay from de soldiers," replied Hoffenstein, "und stay mit de store, because, you know, you don't can put any confidence mit de soldiers—I vill tell you vhy. Von day, vile I vas in Vicksburg during de var, a cock-eyed soldier came in my store mit an old bugle in his hand, und he looks around. I asks him vat he vants, und he buys a couple of undershirts; den he tells me to keep his bundle and his bugle behind de counter until he comes back. After de cock-eyed soldier vent de store out, some more soldiers come in und valk all around, vile dey look at de goods. 'Shentlemens,' I says, 'do you vant anydings?'—'Ve are shust looking to see vat you haf,' said one of dem; und after avile anodder says, 'Bill, shust look dere at de bugle! de very ding de captain told us to get. You know ve don't haf any bugle in de company for dree months.—How much you ask for dot bugle?' I dells dem dot I don't can sell de bugle, because it belongs to a man vat shust vent oud. 'I vill gif you fifty dollars for it,' says de soldier, pulling his money oud. I dells him I don't can sell it, because it vasn't mine. 'I vill gif you one hundred dollars,' he said. Mine gr-r-acious! Herman, I vants to sell de bugle so bad dot I vistles. De soldiers dells me, vile dey vas leaving de store, dot if I buy de bugle from de man vot owns it, dey vill gif me one hundred und dwendy-five dollars for it. I dells dem I vill do it. I sees a chance, you know, Herman, to make some money py the oberation. Ven de cock-eyed soldier comes back he says, 'Gif me my bundle und bugle; I got to go to de camp.' I says, 'Mine frent, don't you vant to sell your bugle?' He dells me no, und I says, 'My little boy, Leopold, vot plays in de store, sees de bugle, und he goes all around crying shust so loud as he can, because he don't get it. Six times I takes him in de yard und vips him, und he comes right back und cries for de bugle. It shows, you know, how much drouble a man vill haf mit a family. I vill gif you den dollars for it, shust to please little Leopold.' De soldier von't dake it; und at last I offer him fifty dollars, und he says, 'Vell, I vill dake fifty dollars, because I can't vaste any more time: I haf to go to de camp.' Afder he goes avay, I goes to de door, und vatches for de soldiers vat vanted de bugle. I sees dem passing along de street, und I says, 'My frents, I haf got de bugle;' und dey say, 'Vell, hang it! vy don't you blow it?' Mine gr-r-acious! Herman, vat you dink? All dem soldiers belong to de same crowd, und dey make de trick to swindle me. Levi Cohen, across de street, he finds it out, und efery day he gets boys to blow horns in front of mine store, so as to make me dink how I vas swindled. Herman, I dink you had better stay mit de store."