It was near midnight when the travelers reached castle Wildenort. The servant said that the count was sleeping, and that the physician who lived in the valley was with him. The country doctor left the sickroom and came out into the ante-chamber to welcome the new arrivals. He was about to describe the case to Gunther, who, however, requested him not to do so until he had himself seen the patient. Accompanied by Irma and Bruno, he went into the sick-room. Eberhard lay in bed, his head propped up by pillows. His eyes were wide open, and, without showing the slightest emotion, he stared at those who entered, as if they were figures in a dream. "I greet you, Eberhard, with all my heart," said Gunther. The sick man's features twitched convulsively, and his eyelids rose quickly and as quickly fell again, while he gropingly put forth his hand toward his old friend. But the hand sank powerless on the coverlet. Gunther grasped it and held it fast. Irma stood as if rooted to the spot, unable to move or utter a word. "How are you, papa?" asked Bruno. With a sudden start, as if a shot had whizzed by his ear, Eberhard turned toward Bruno and motioned to him to leave the room. Irma knelt down at his bedside, while Eberhard passed his trembling hand over her face. It became wet with her tears. Suddenly, he drew it back, as if it had been touching a poisonous reptile. He averted his face and pressed his brow against the wall; and thus he lay for a long while. Neither Gunther nor Irma spoke a word. Their voices failed them in the presence of him who had been deprived of speech. And now Eberhard turned again and gently motioned his daughter to leave the room. She did so. Gunther remained alone with Eberhard. It was the first time in thirty years that the two friends had met. Eberhard passed Gunther's hand across his eyes, and then shook his head. Gunther said: "I know what you mean; you would like to weep, but cannot. Do you understand all I say to you?" The patient nodded affirmatively. "Then just imagine," continued Gunther, and his voice has a rich and comforting tone, "that the years we've been separated from each other were but one hour. Our measure of time is a different one. Do you still remember how you would often in enthusiastic moments exclaim: 'We've just been living centuries'?" There was again a convulsive twitching of the patient's features, just as when a weeping one is enlivened by a cheerful thought and would fain smile, but cannot. Eberhard attempted to trace letters on the coverlet, but Gunther found it difficult to decipher them. The sick man pointed to a table on which there lay books and manuscripts. Gunther brought several of them, but none was the right one. At last he brought a little manuscript book, the cover of which was inscribed with the title, "Self-redemption." The sick man seemed pleased, as if welcoming a fortunate occurrence. "You wrote this yourself. Shall I read some of it to you?" Eberhard nodded assent. Gunther sat down by the bed and read: "May this serve to enlighten me on the day and in the hour when my mind becomes obscured. "I have been much given to introspection. I have endeavored to study myself, without regard to the outward conditions of time, standpoint, or circumstance. I perceive it, but, as yet, I cannot grasp it. It is a dew-drop shut up in the heart of a rock. "There are moments when I am fully up to the ideal I have formed for myself, but there are many more when I am merely the caricature of my better self. How am I to form a conception of my actual self? What am I? "I perceive that I am a something belonging to the universe and to eternity. "During the blessed moments, sometimes drawn out into hours, in which I realize this conception, there is naught but life for me--no such thing as death, either for me or the world. "In my dying hour, I should like to be as clearly conscious as I now am that I am in God, and that God is in me. "Religion may claim warmth of feeling and glory of imagination as her portion. We, on the other hand, have attained to that clear vision which includes both feeling and imagination. "In troubled, restless days, when I endeavored to grasp the Infinite, I felt as if melting away, vanishing, disappearing. I longed to know: What is God? "And now I possess our master's answer: Although we cannot picture God to ourselves, yet we have a clear idea or conception of Him. "For us, the old commandment: 'Thou shalt not make unto thyself any image of God,' signifies thou canst not make to thyself any image of God. Every image is finite; the idea of God is that of infinity. "Spinoza teaches that we must regard ourselves as a part of God-- "While endeavoring to grasp the idea of the whole, I came to understand what is meant by the words: 'The human mind is part of the divine mind.' "A single drop rises on the surface of the stormy ocean of life. It lasts but a second--though men term it threescore years and ten--and then, glowing with the light it receives and imparts, sinks again. "Man, regarded as an individual, is both by birth and education a thought entering upon the threshold of the consciousness of God. At death, he simply sinks below that threshold, but he does not perish. He remains a part of eternity, just as all thought endures in its consequences. "When I combine a number of such individuals or thoughts and term them a nation, the genius of that nation enters upon the threshold of such consciousness as soon as the nation begins to have a history of its own. "Combining the nations into a whole, we have mankind or the totality of thought, the consciousness of God and of the world. "I have often felt giddy at the mere thought of standing firm and secure, on the highest pinnacle of thought. "May these thoughts inspire and deliver me in the hour of dissolution. There is no separation of mortal and immortal life, they flow into each other and are one. "The knowledge that we are one and the same with God and the universe is the highest bliss. He who possess this, never dies, but lives the life eternal. "Come to me once more, thou spirit of Truth, at the moment when I sink-- "Dust cleaves to my wings, just as it does to yonder lark, winging its flight from the furrowed field into ether. The furrow is as pure as the ether, the worm as pure as the lark,--God yet dwells in that which, to us seems lost and ruined. And should my eye be dimmed in death--I have beheld the Eternal One--My eyes have penetrated eternity. Free from distortion and self-destruction, the immortal spirit soars aloft--" When Gunther had read thus far, Eberhard laid his hand on his lips as if to silence him, and gazed intently into his eyes. "You have honestly wrestled with yourself and the highest ideas," said Gunther, whose voice was tremulous with something more than grief at approaching death. Eberhard closed his eyes. When Gunther saw that he was asleep, he rose from his seat. He now noticed that Irma had been sitting behind the bed-screen. He beckoned to her, and she left the room with him. "Did you hear everything?" asked Gunther. "I only came a few minutes ago." Irma wanted to know the whole truth in regard to her father's position. Gunther admitted that there was no hope of recovery, but that the hour of death was uncertain. Irma covered her face with both hands and returned to the sick-room, where she again took her seat behind the bed-screen. Bruno was with the country physician, in the great hall. As soon as Gunther entered, Bruno hastily arose and, advancing to meet him, hurriedly said: "Our friend here has already quieted me. The danger, thank God"--his tongue faltered at the words "thank God"--"is not imminent. Pray quiet my sister's fears." Gunther made no reply. He saw that Bruno merely affected ignorance of the imminent danger, and Gunther was enough of a courtier to refrain from forcing the truth upon unwilling ears. He returned to Irma. Bruno followed him and endeavored to cheer his sister; but she shook her head incredulously. He paid no heed to this, but said that he wanted to gain strength and endurance for the sad trial that awaited them. What he really wanted was to ride out, so that he might be absent at the terrible moment. Since his presence could not make things any better, why should he expose himself to such a shock? The morning began to dawn. The sick man still lay there, motionless. "His breathing is easier," faintly whispered Irma. A gentle, reassuring nod was Gunther's reply. |