1. Since you ask me every time that you meet me, my friend Timocrates, what was said by the Deipnosophists, thinking that we are making some discoveries, we will remind you of what is said by Antiphanes, in his Poesy, in this manner— In every way, my friends, is Tragedy A happy poem. For the argument Is, in the first place, known to the spectators, Before one single actor says a word. So that the poet need do little more Than just remind his hearers what they know. For should I speak of Œdipus, at once They recollect his story—how his father Was Laius, and Jocasta too his mother; What were his sons', and what his daughters' names, And what he did and suffer'd. So again If a man names AlcmÆon, the very children Can tell you how he in his madness slew His mother; and Adrastus furious, Will come in haste, and then depart again; And then at last, when they can say no more, And when the subject is almost exhausted, They lift an engine easily as a finger, And that is quite enough to please the theatre. But our case is harder. We are forced T' invent the whole of what we write; new names, Things done before, done now, new plots, new openings, And new catastrophes. And if we fail in aught, Some Chremes or some Phido hisses us. While Peleus is constraint by no such laws, Nor Teucer. And Diphilus says, in his Men conducting Helen— O thou who rulest, patroness and queen, Over this holy spot of sacred Brauron, Bow-bearing daughter of Latona and Jove, As the tragedians call you; who alone Have power to do and say whate'er they please. 2. But Timocles the comic writer, asserting that tragedy is My friend, just hear what I'm about to say. Man is an animal by nature miserable; And life has many grievous things in it. Therefore he has invented these reliefs To ease his cares; for oft the mind forgets Its own discomforts while it soothes itself In contemplation of another's woes, And e'en derives some pleasure and instruction. For first, I'd have you notice the tragedians; What good they do to every one. The poor man Sees Telephus was poorer still than he, And bears his own distress more easily. The madman thinks upon AlcmÆon's case. Has a man weak sore eyes? The sons of Phineus Are blind as bats. Has a man lost his child? Let him remember childless Niobe. He's hurt his leg; and so had Philoctetes. Is he unfortunate in his old age? Œneus was more so. So that every one, Seeing that others have been more unfortunate, Learns his own griefs to hear with more content. 3. And we accordingly, O Timocrates, will restore to you the relics of the feast of the Deipnosophists, and will not give them, as Cothocides the orator said, meaning to ridicule Demosthenes, who, when Philip gave Halonnesus to the Athenians, advised them "not to take it if he gave it, but only if he restored it." And this sentence Antiphanes jested upon in his Neottis, where he ridicules it in this manner— And Alexis says, in his Soldier—
A. For did I give them anything? Tell me that. B. No, you restored it, holding a deposit. And Anaxilas, in his Evandria, says—
And Timocles says in his Heroes—
According, therefore, to the above-mentioned poets, so we, restoring but not giving to you what followed after the previous conversation, will now tell you all that was said afterwards. 4. Then came into us these servants, bringing a great quantity of sea fish and lake fish on silver platters, so that we marvelled at the wealth displayed, and at the costliness of the entertainment, which was such that he seemed almost to have engaged the Nereids themselves as the purveyors. And one of the parasites and flatterers said that Neptune was sending fish to our Neptunian port, not by the agency of those who at Rome sell rare fish for their weight in money; but that some were imported from Antium, and some from Terracina, and some from the Pontian islands opposite, and some from Pyrgi; and that is a city of Etruria. For the fishmongers in Rome are very little different from those who used to be turned into ridicule by the comic poets at Athens, of whom Antiphanes says, in his Young Men— I did indeed for a long time believe The Gorgons an invention of the poets, But when I came into the fish-market I quickly found them a reality. For looking at the fishwomen I felt Turn'd instantly to stone, and was compell'd To turn away my head while talking to them. For when I see how high a price they ask, And for what little fish, I'm motionless. 'Tis easier to get access to the general, And one is met by language far more courteous, And by more civil answer from his grace, Than from those cursed fishfags in the market. For when one asks them anything, or offers To buy aught of them, mute they stand like Telephus, And just as stubborn; ('tis an apt comparison, For in a word they all are homicides;) And neither listen nor appear to heed, But shake a dirty polypus in your face; Or else turn sulky, and scarce say a word, But as if half a syllable were enough, Say "se'n s'lings this," "this turb't eight'n-pence." This is the treatment which a man must bear Who seeks to buy a dinner in the fish-market. And Alexis says in his Apeglaucomenos— When I behold a general looking stern, I think him wrong, but do not greatly wonder, That one in high command should think himself Above the common herd. But when I see The fishmongers, of all tribes far the worst, Bending their sulky eyes down to the ground, And lifting up their eyebrows to their foreheads, I am disgusted. And if you should ask, "Tell me, I pray you, what's this pair of mullets?" "Tenpence." "Oh, that's too much; you'll eightpence take?" "Yes, if you'll be content with half the pair." "Come, eightpence; that is plenty." "I will not Take half a farthing less: don't waste my time." Is it not bitter to endure such insolence? 6. And Diphilus says in his Busybody— I used to think the race of fishmongers Was only insolent in Attica; But now I see that like wild beasts they are Savage by nature, everywhere the same. But here is one who goes beyond his fellows, Nourishing flowing hair, which he doth call Devoted to his god—though that is not the reason, But he doth use it as a veil to hide The brand which marks his forehead. Should you ask him, What is this pike's price? he will tell you "tenpence;" Not say what pence he means; then if you give him The money, he will claim Ægina's coinage; While if you ask for change, he'll give you Attic. And thus he makes a profit on both sides. And Xenarchus says in his Purple— A single thing that's new. But all they do Is to clothe old ideas in language new, Turning the same things o'er and o'er again, And upside down. But as to fishmongers, They're an inventive race, and yield to none In shameless conduct. For as modern laws Forbid them now to water their stale fish, Some fellow, hated by the gods, beholding His fish quite dry, picks with his mates a quarrel, And blows are interchanged. Then when one thinks He's had enough, he falls, and seems to faint, And lies like any corpse among his baskets. Some one calls out for water; and his partner Catches a pail, and throws it o'er his friend So as to sprinkle all his fish, and make The world believe them newly caught and fresh. 7. And that they often do sell fish which is dead and stinking is proved by what Antiphanes says in his Adulterers, as follows— There's not on earth a more unlucky beast Than a poor fish, for whom 'tis not enough To die when caught, that they may find at once A grave in human stomachs; but what's worse, They fall into the hands of odious fishmongers, And rot and lie upon their stalls for days; And if they meet with some blind purchaser, He scarce can carry them when dead away; But throws them out of doors, and thinks that he Has through his nose had taste enough of them. And in his Friend of the Thebans he says— Is it not quite a shame, that if a man Has fresh-caught fish to sell, he will not speak To any customer without a frown Upon his face, and language insolent? And if his fish are stale, he jokes and laughs— While his behaviour should the contrary be: The first might laugh, the latter should be shamed. And that they sell their fish very dear we are told by Alexis in his PylÆan Women— Yes, by Minerva, I do marvel at The tribe of fishmongers, that they are not All wealthy men, such royal gains they make. For sitting in the market they do think it A trifling thing to tithe our properties; But would take all at one fell swoop away. 8. And the same poet says in his play entitled the Caldron— Than rich Aristonicus. For he now Does make this law, that any fishmonger Who puts a price upon his fish, and then Sells it for less, shall be at once dragg'd off And put in prison; that by their example The rest may learn to ask a moderate price, And be content with that, and carry home Their rotten fish each evening; and then Old men, old women, boys, and all their customers, Will buy whatever suits them at fair price. And a little further on he says— There never has, since Solon's time, been seen A better lawgiver than Aristonicus. For he has given many different laws, And now he introduces this new statute, A golden statute, that no fishmonger Should sell his fish while sitting, but that all Shall stand all day i' the market. And he says Next year he will enact that they shall sell Being hung up; for so they will let off Their customers more easily, when they Are raised by a machine like gods in a play. 9. And Antiphanes, in his Hater of Wickedness, displays their rudeness and dishonesty, comparing them to the greatest criminals who exist among men, speaking as follows— Are not the Scythians of men the wisest? Who when their children are first born do give them The milk of mares and cows to drink at once, And do not trust them to dishonest nurses, Or tutors, who of evils are the worst, Except the midwives only. For that class Is worst of all, and next to them do come The begging priests of mighty Cybele; And it is hard to find a baser lot— Unless indeed you speak of fishmongers, But they are worse than even money-changers, And are in fact the worst of all mankind. 10. And it was not without some wit that Diphilus, in his Merchant, speaks in this manner of fish being sold at an exorbitant price— I never heard of dearer fish at any time. Oh, Neptune, if you only got a tenth Of all that money, you would be by far The richest of the gods! And yet if he, The fishmonger I mean, had been but civil, I would have given him his price, though grumbling; And, just as Priam ransom'd Hector, I Would have put down his weight to buy the conger. Living and dead, the monsters of the deep Are hostile to us always. If our ship Be overturn'd, they then at once devour Whatever of the crew they catch while swimming: And if they're caught themselves by fishermen, When dead they half undo their purchasers; For with our whole estate they must be bought, And the sad purchaser comes off a beggar. And Archippus, in his play called the Fish, mentions one fishmonger by name, HermÆus the Egyptian, saying— The cursedest of all fish-dealers is HermÆus the Egyptian; who skins And disembowels all the vilest fish, And sells them for the choicest, as I hear. And Alexis, in his Rich Heiress, mentions a certain fishmonger by name, Micio. 11. And perhaps it is natural for fishermen to be proud of their skill, even to a greater degree than the most skilful generals. Accordingly, Anaxandrides, in his Ulysses, introduces one of them, speaking in this way of the fisherman's art— The beauteous handiwork of portrait painters When in a picture seen is much admired; But the fair fruit of our best skill is seen In a rich dish just taken from the frying-pan. For by what other art, my friend, do we See young men's appetites so much inflamed? What causes such outstretching of the hands? What is so apt to choke one, if a man Can hardly swallow it? Does not the fish-market Alone give zest to banquets? Who can spread A dinner without fried fish, or anchovies, Or high-priced mullet? With what words or charms Can a well-favour'd youth be caught, if once The fisherman's assistance be denied? His art subdues him, bringing to the fish-kettle The heads of well-boil'd fish; this leads him on To doors which guard th' approach to a good dinner, And bids him haste, though nought himself contributing. 12. And Alexis says this with reference to those who are too anxious as to buying their fish, in his Rich Heiress— Whoever being poor buys costly fish, And though in want of much, in this is lavish, He strips by night whoever he may meet. So when a man is stripp'd thus, let him go And the first man he sees both poor and young Buying his eels of Micio, let him seize him, And drag him off to prison by the throat. And Diphilus, in his Merchant, says that there is some such law as this in existence among the Corinthians—
And Sophilus, in his Androcles, wishes that the same custom prevailed at Athens also, thinking that it would be a good thing if two or three men were appointed by the city to the regulation of the provision markets. And Lynceus the Samian wrote a treatise on purveying against some one who was very difficult to please when making his purchases; teaching him what a man ought to say to those homicidal fishmongers, so as to buy what he wants at a fair rate and without being exposed to any annoyance. The swineherd served up dishes (p??a?a?) of rich meat, Aristophanes the Byzantine said that it was a modernism to speak of meats being placed on platters (p??a?e?), not being aware that in other places the poet has said— Dishes (p??a?a?) of various meats the butler brought. I ask also, if any men among the ancients had ever acquired a multitude of slaves, as the men of modern times do: and if the word t??a??? (frying-pan) is ever found, and not the form t?????? only. So that we may not fix our whole attention on eating and drinking, like those who from their devotion to their bellies are called parasites and flatterers. 14. And Æmilianus replied to him,—The word p??a?, when used of a vessel, you may find used by Metagenes the comic writer, in his Valiant Persians: and Pherecrates, my friend, has used the form t??a??? in his Trifles, where he says— He said he ate anchovies from the frying-pan (t??????). And the same poet has also said in the PersÆ— To sit before the frying-pans (t??a?a) burning rushes. And Philonides says, in his Buskins— Receive him now with rays and frying-pans (t??a?a). And again he says— Smelling of frying-pans (t??a?a). And Eubulus says, in his Orthane— The bellows rouses Vulcan's guardian dogs, With the warm vapour of the frying-pan (t??a???). And in another place he says— But every lovely woman walks along Fed with the choicest morsels from the frying-pan (t??a???). And in his Titans he says— And the dish Doth laugh and bubble up with barbarous talk, And the fish leap ?? ?s??s? t???????. And Phrynichus also uses a verb derived from the word in his Tragedian— 'Tis sweet to eat fried meat, at any feast For which one has been at no cost oneself. But Hegesander the Delphian says that the Syracusans call a dish t??a???, and the proper t??a??? they call ????t??a???; on which account he says that Theodorides says in some poem— He in a t??a??? did boil it well, In a large swimming dish. Where he uses t??a??? for ??pa?. But the Ionians write the word ??a??? without the letter t, as Anacreon says— Putting his hand within the frying-pan ??a???. 15. But with respect to the use of silver plate, my good friend Ulpian, you make me stop to consider a little; but I recollect what is said by Alexis in his Exile— For where an earthen pot is to be let For the cook's use. For down to the times of the supremacy of the Macedonians the attendants used to perform their duties with vessels made of earthenware, as my countryman Juba declares. But when the Romans altered the way of living, giving it a more expensive direction, then Cleopatra, arranging her style of living in imitation of them, she, I mean, who ultimately destroyed the Egyptian monarchy, not being able to alter the name, she called gold and silver plate ???a??; and then she gave the guests what she called the ???aa to carry away with them; and this was very costly. And on the Rosic earthenware, which was the most beautiful, Cleopatra spent five minÆ every day. But Ptolemy the king, in the eighth book of his commentaries, writing of Masinissa the king of the Libyans, speaks as follows—"His entertainments were arranged in the Roman fashion, everything being served up in silver ???a??. And the second course he arranged in the Italian mode. His dishes were all made of gold; made after the fashion of those which are plaited of bulrushes or ropes. And he employed Greek musicians. 16. But Aristophanes the comic writer, whom Heliodorus the Athenian says, in his treatise concerning the Acropolis, (and it occupies fifteen books,) was a Naucratite by birth, in his play called Plutus, after the god who gave his name to the play and appeared on the stage, says that dishes of silver But every vinegar cruet, dish and ewer Is made of brass; while all the dirty dishes In which they serve up fish are made of silver. The oven too is made of ivory. And Plato says, in his Ambassadors— Epicrates and his good friend Phormisius, Received many and magnificent gifts From the great king; a golden cruet-stand, And silver plates and dishes. And Sophron, in his Female Actresses, says— The whole house shone With store of gold, and of much silver plate. 17. And Philippides, in his Disappearance of Silver, speaks of the use of it as ostentatious and uncommon, and aimed at only by some foreigners who had made fortunes but lately—
And Alexis, in his Little House, introducing a young man in love displaying his wealth to his mistress, represents him as making her some such speech as this—
And I am myself acquainted with one of our own fellow-citizens who is as proud as he is poor, and who, when all his silver plate put together scarcely weighed a drachma, used to keep calling for his servant, a single individual, and the only one he had, but still he called him by hundreds of different names. "Here, you Strombichides, do not put on the table There is some vinegar and a wine-cooler, Thinner than thinnest gauze. For there were at that time people who were able to beat out silver till it was as thin as a piece of skin. 18. And Antiphanes, in his Lemnian Women, says— A three-legg'd table now is laid, and on it A luscious cheesecake, O ye honour'd gods, And this year's honey in a silver dish. And Sopater the parodist, in his Orestes, writes— A silver dish, bearing a stinking shad. And in the drama entitled Phace he says— But at his supper he does sport a cruet Of shining silver, richly chased with figures, And bas-reliefs of dragons: such as Thibron Used to display, most delicate of men, Stripp'd of his wealth by arts of Tantalus. And Theopompus the Chian, in his Letters of Advice to Alexander, when he enters into a discussion about Theocritus his fellow-citizen, says—"But he drinks out of silver cups and out of golden cups, and uses other vessels of the same kind upon his table. A man who formerly not only did not drink out of silver vessels, but who had not brazen ones either, but was content with the commonest earthenware, and even that very often cracked and chipped. And Diphilus says, in his Painter— A splendid breakfast then appear'd, consisting Of all that was desirable or new; First every kind of oyster; then a phalanx Of various side-dishes, and a heap Of broilÈd meats fresh from the gridiron, And potted meats in silver mortars pounded. And Philemon says in his Physician— And a large basket full of silver plate. And Menander, in his Heautontimorumenos, says— A bath, maid-servants, lots of silver plate. And in his Hymnis he writes— But I am come in quest of silver plate. And Lysias, in his Oration on the Golden Tripod, if indeed 19. When Æmilianus had said this, Pontianus said—For formerly gold was really exceedingly scarce among the Greeks; and there was not indeed much silver; at least, not much which was extracted from the mines; on which account Duris the Samian says that Philip, the father of the great king Alexander, as he was possessed of one flagon of gold, always put it under his pillow when he went to bed. And Herodotus of Heraclea says, that the Golden Lamb of Atreus, which was the pregnant cause of many eclipses of the sun, and changes of kings, and which was, moreover, the subject of a great many tragedies, was a golden flagon, having in the centre a figure of a golden lamb. And Anaximenes of Lampsacus, in the first of those works of his, called Histories, says that the necklace of Eriphyle was so notorious because gold at that time was so rare among the Greeks; for that a golden goblet was at that time a most unusual thing to see; but that after the taking of Delphi by the Phocians, then all such things began to be more abundant. But formerly even those men who were accounted exceedingly rich used to drink out of brazen goblets, and the repositories where they put them away they called ?a??????a?. And Herodotus says that the Egyptian priests drink out of brazen goblets; and he affirms that silver flagons could not be found to be given to all the kings, even when they sacrificed in public; and, accordingly, that Psammetichus, who was later than the other kings, performed his libations with a brazen flagon, while the rest made their offerings with silver ones. But after the temple at Delphi had been plundered by the tyrants of Phocis, then gold became common among the Greeks, and silver became actually abundant; and afterwards, when the great Alexander had brought into Greece all the treasures from out of Asia, then there really did shine forth what Pindar calls "wealth predominating far and wide." 20. And the silver and gold offerings which were at Delphi were offered originally by Gyges the king of the Lydians. For before the reign of this monarch Apollo had no silver, 21. And Phanias relates the same circumstances in his history of the Tyrants in Sicily, saying that the ancient offerings had been brass, both tripods, and caldrons, and daggers; and that on one of them there was the following inscription— Look on me well; for I was once a part Of the wide tower which defended Troy When Greeks and Trojans fought for fair-hair'd Helen; And Helicon, brave Antenor's son, Brought me from thence, and placed me here, to be An ornament to Phoebus' holy shrine. And in the tripod, which was one of the prizes offered at the funeral games in honour of Patroclus, there was the inscription— Here as an ornament of Delphi's shrine. The swift Achilles gave me as a prize What time he placed Patroclus on the pile, And Tydeus' mighty son, brave Diomede, Offer'd me here, won by his speedy coursers In the swift race by Helle's spacious wave. 22. And Ephorus, or Demophilus, his son, in the thirtieth book of his Histories, speaking of the temple of Delphi, says, "But Onomarchus and Phayllus and PhalÆcus not only carried off all the treasures of the god, but at last their wives carried off also the ornaments of Eriphyle, which AlcmÆon consecrated at Delphi by the command of the god, and also the necklace of Helen, which had been given by Menelaus. For the god had given each of them oracles: he had said to AlcmÆon, when he asked him how he could be cured of his madness— You ask a precious gift, relief from madness; Give me a precious gift yourself; the chain With which your mother buried, steeds and all, Your sire, her husband, brave Amphiaraus. And he replied to Menelaus, who consulted him as to how he might avenge himself on Paris— Bring me the golden ornament of the neck Of your false wife; which Venus once did give A welcome gift to Helen; and then Paris Shall glut your direst vengeance by his fall. And it so fell out that a violent quarrel arose among the women about these ornaments—which should take which. And when they had drawn lots for the choice, the one of them, who was very ugly and stern, got Eriphyle's necklace, but the one who was conspicuous for beauty and wanton got the ornaments of Helen; and she, being in love with a young man of Epirus, went away with him, but the other contrived to put her husband to death. 23. But the divine Plato, and Lycurgus the LacedÆmonian, not only forbad all costly ornaments to be introduced into their model states, but they would not permit even silver or gold to be brought into them, thinking that of the products of mines, iron and copper were sufficient, and banishing the other metals as injurious to those states which were in good order. But Zeno the Stoic, thinking everything unimportant except the legitimate and honest use of the precious metals, Therefore a little of these metals lies on the surface just to serve as a sample of the rest which is beneath, since in the remotest corners of the earth also there are rivers bearing down gold-dust in their waters; and women and men destitute of bodily strength scratching among the sand, detach these particles from the sand, and then they wash them and bring them to the smelting-pot, as my countryman Posidonius says is done among the Helvetians, and among others of the Celtic tribes. And the mountains which used formerly to be called the RhipÆan mountains, and which were subsequently named the Olbian (as if happy), and which are now called the Alps, (they are mountains in Gaul,) when once the woods upon them had caught fire spontaneously, ran with liquid silver. The greater quantity of this metal, however, is found by mining operations carried on at a great depth, and attended by great hardship, according to the statement of Demetrius Phalereus, in consequence of the desire of avarice to draw Pluto himself out of the recesses of the earth; and, accordingly, he says facetiously that—"Men having often abandoned what was visible for the sake of what was uncertain, have not got what they expected, and have lost what they had, being unfortunate by an enigmatical sort of calamity." 24. But the LacedÆmonians being hindered by their national institutions from introducing silver or gold into Sparta, as the 25. But that tribe of Gauls which is called the CordistÆ, does not introduce gold into their country either, still they are not the less ready to plunder the territories of their neighbours, and to commit injustice; and that nation is a remnant of the Gauls who formed the army of Brennus when he made his expedition against the temple of Delphi. And a certain Bathanatius, acting as their leader, settled them as a colony in the districts around the Ister, from whom they call the road by which they returned the Bathanatian road, and even to this day they call his posterity the Bathanati. And these men proscribe gold, and do not introduce it into their territories, as a thing on account of which they have suffered many calamities; but they do use silver, and for the sake of that they commit the most enormous atrocities. Although the proper course would be, not to banish the whole class of the thing of which they were formerly plundered, but the impiety which could perpetrate such a sacrilege. And even if they did not introduce silver into their country, still they would commit excesses in the pursuit of copper and iron; and even if they had not these things, still they would continue to rage in war against other nations for the sake of meat and drink, and other necessaries. 26. When Pontianus had delivered his opinion in these And Themiso, in his Pallenis, says—"That the king, who from time to time fills that office, and the parasites, whom they appoint from the main body of the people, and the old men, and the women who still have their first husbands, shall take care of such and such things." 27. And from this you perceive, my good friend Ulpian, that you may raise another question, who the women are who still have their first husbands? But (for we are still speaking about the parasites) there is also an inscription on a pillar in the Anaceum to the following effect—"Of the best bulls which are selected, one-third is to be appropriated to the games; and of the remaining two-thirds, one is to go to the priest, and the other to the parasites." But Crates, in the second book of his treatise on the Attic Dialect, says—"And the word parasite is now used in a disreputable sense; but formerly those people were called parasites who were selected to collect the sacred corn, and there was a regular Hall of the parasites; on which account the following expressions occur in the law of the king—"That the king shall take care of the Archons that they are properly appointed, and that they shall select the parasites from the different boroughs, according to the statutes enacted with reference to that subject. And that the parasites shall, without any evasion or fraud, select from their own share a sixth part of a bushel of barley, on which all who are citizens of Athens shall feast in the temple, according to the national laws and customs. And that the parasites of the Acharnensians shall give a sixth part of a bushel from their collection of barley to the guild of priests of Apollo. And that there was a regular Hall for the parasites is shown by the following expressions in the same law—"For the repairs of the temple, and of the magistrates' hall, and of the hall of parasites, and of the sacred house, they shall pay whatever sums of money the contractors appointed by the priests think necessary." From this it is evident that the place in which the parasites laid up the first-fruits of the consecrated corn was called the Parasitium, or the Hall of the parasites. 28. But the meaning which is now given to the name parasite is one which Carystius of Pergamus, in his treatise on the DidascaliÆ, says was first invented by Alexis, forgetting that Epicharmus, in his Hope or Plutus, has introduced one in a drinking party, where he says— But here another stands at this man's feet, ***** Seeking for food which shall not cost him anything, And he will drink up an entire cask, As if it were a cupfull. And he introduces the parasite himself, making the following speech to some one who questioned him— I sup with any one who likes, if he Has only got the good sense to invite me; And with each man who makes a marriage feast, Whether I'm asked or not, there I am witty; There I make others laugh, and there I praise The host, who gives the feast. And if by chance Any one dares to say a word against him, I arm myself for contest, and overwhelm him. Then eating much and drinking plentifully, I leave the house. No link-boy doth attend me; But I do pick my way with stumbling steps, Both dark and desolate; and if sometimes I do the watchmen meet, I swear to them By all the gods that I have done no wrong; But still they set on me. At last, well beaten, I reach my home, and go to sleep on the ground, And for a while forget my blows and bruises, While the strong wine retains its sway and lulls me. 29. And the parasite of Epicharmus makes a second speech of the same kind. And a parasite of Diphilus speaks thus— When a rich man who gives a dinner asks me, I look not at the ceiling or the cornices, Nor do I criticise Corinthian chasings, But keep my eyes fixed on the kitchen smoke, I joy and triumph, and I clap my wings; But it be but thin and moving sidewise, Then I perceive my feast too will be thin. But Homer is the first person, as some say, who introduced the character of a parasite, saying of Podes that he was a beloved guest of Hector— There stood a Trojan, not unknown to fame, Eetion's son, and Podes was his name,— With riches honour'd, and with courage blest, By Hector loved, his comrade and his guest. For the word e??ap??? comes to the same thing as de?p???, on which account he makes him wounded by Menelaus in the belly, as Demetrius the Scepsian says; as also he represents Pandarus as wounded in the tongue, because of his having perjured himself; and it is a Spartan who wounds him, one of a nation very much devoted to temperance. 30. But the ancient poets called parasites flatterers; from whom also Eupolis gave this title to his play, where he represents a chorus of flatterers speaking thus— But we will tell you now The mode of life adopted By the whole flattering band, And listen ye, and learn How well-bred we all are. For first of all a boy, Another person's slave, Attends us; and we are Content with very little. I have two well-made garments, And always have one on; I hie me to the forum, And when I see a man, A foolish man but rich, I make my way to him, And if he says a word I praise his wit and laugh, Delighted at his jests. And then we go to supper, My friends and I, pursuing Each different game so long As we can save our money. And then the parasite Must show his wit and manners, Or out of doors be turned. And one there was, Acestor, Am bound to tell the truth, And he was treated so. For not one single joke Did he ope his lips to utter, And so the slaves expell'd And pilloried the knave, And gave him up to Œneus. 31. And Araros, in his HymenÆus, uses the word parasite, where he says— Why you must be a parasite, my friend; And 'tis Ischomachus who does support you. And the word is constantly used among the later writers. And the verb pa?as?t??, to be a parasite, occurs in Plato the comic writer, in his Laches. For he says— See how these youths do play the parasite. And Alexis says that there are two kinds of parasites, in his Pilot, where we find this passage—
32. And Timocles, in his Dracontius, hits off the parasite very neatly, and describes his character thus— Shall I then let a man abuse the parasites? No, surely, for there is no race of men More useful in such matters. And if company Be one of the things which makes life pass agreeably, Surely a parasite does this most constantly. Are you in love? he, at the shortest notice, Feels the same passion. Have you any business? His business is at once the same as yours; And he's at hand to help you as you wish; Thinking that only fair to him that feeds him. 'Tis marvellous how he doth praise his friends— What man, what hero, or what god exists, Who does not scorn such habits and such principles? But that I mayn't detain you all the day, I think that I can give you one clear proof In what respect men hold a parasite; For they receive the same rewards as those Who at Olympia bear the palm of victory— They both are fed for nothing for their virtues; And wheresoe'er there is no contribution, That place we ought to call the Prytaneum. 33. And Antiphanes, in his Twins, says— For look, the parasite, if you judge aright, Shares both the life and fortune of his friends. There is no parasite who'd wish his friends To be unfortunate; but on the contrary His constant prayer will be, that all may prosper. Has any one a fortune? he don't envy him; He'd rather always be at hand to share it. He is a genuine friend, and eke a safe one, Not quarrelsome, ill-humour'd, peevish, sulky, But skill'd to keep his temper. Do you mock him? He laughs himself; he's amorous or mirthful, Just as his friend is i' th' humour. He's a general, Or valiant soldier, only let his pay Be a good dinner, and he'll ask no more. 34. And Aristophon, in his Physician, says— I wish now to inform him What is my disposition. If any one gives a dinner, I'm always to be found, So that the young men scoffing Because I come in first Do call me gravy soup. Then if there be occasion To check a drunken guest, Or turn him out by force, You'd think I were AntÆus; Or must a door be forced? I butt like any ram; Or would you scale a ladder? I'm Capaneus, and eager To climb like him to heaven. Are blows to be endured? A very anvil I; Or Telamon or Ajax, If wounds are to be given; While as a beauty-hunter E'en smoke itself can't beat me. For being hungry, and yet eating nothing, He is a Tithymallus or Philippides; For water-drinking he's a regular frog; For eating thyme and cabbages, a snail; For hating washing he's a pig; for living Out in the open air, a perfect blackbird; For standing cold and chattering all the day, A second grasshopper; in hating oil He's dust; for walking barefoot in the morning, A crane; for passing sleepless nights, a bat. 35. And Antiphanes says in his Ancestors— You know my ways; That there's no pride in me, but I am just Like this among my friends: a mass of iron To bear their blows, a thunderbolt to give them; Lightning to blind a man, the wind to move one; A very halter, if one needs be choked; An earthquake to heave doors from off their hinges; A flea to leap quick in; a fly to come And feast without a formal invitation; Not to depart too soon, a perfect well. I'm ready when I'm wanted, whether it be To choke a man or kill him, or to prove A case against him. All that others say, Those things I am prepared at once to do. And young men, mocking me on this account, Do call me whirlwind—but for me, I care not For such light jests. For to my friends I prove A friend in deeds, and not in words alone. But Diphilus in his Parasite, when a wedding-feast is about to take place, represents the parasite as speaking thus— Do you not know that in the form of curse These words are found, If any one do fail To point the right road to a traveller, To quench a fire; or if any one spoil The water of a spring or well, or hinders A guest upon his way when going to supper? And Eubulus says in his Œdipus— The man who first devised the plan of feasting At other folk's expense, must sure have been A gentleman of very popular manners; But he who ask'd a friend or any stranger To dinner, and then made him bear his share, May he be banish'd, and his goods all seized. 36. And Diodorus of Sinope, in his Orphan Heiress, has these expressions, when speaking of a parasite, and they are not devoid of elegance— How reputable, and how usual too, This practice is; a most divine contrivance. Other arts needed not the gods to teach them; Wise men invented them; but Jove himself Did teach his friends to live as parasites, And he confessedly is king o' the gods. For he does often to men's houses come, And cares not whether they be rich or poor; And wheresoe'er he sees a well-laid couch, And well-spread table near, supplied with all That's good or delicate, he sits him down, And asks himself to dinner, eats and drinks, And then goes home again, and pays no share. And I now do the same. For when I see Couches prepared, and handsome tables loaded, And the door open to receive the guests, I enter in at once, and make no noise, But trim myself, behaving quietly, To give no great annoyance to my neighbour, And then, when I have well enjoy'd the whole That's set before me, and when I have drunk Of delicate wines enough, I home return, Like friendly Jupiter. And that such a line Was always thought respectable and honest, I now will give you a sufficient proof. This city honours Hercules exceedingly, And sacrifices to him in all the boroughs, And at these sacred rites it ne'er admits The common men, or parasites, or beggars; But out of all the citizens it picks Twelve men of all the noblest families, All men of property and character; And then some rich men, imitating Hercules, Select some parasites, not choosing those Who are the wittiest men, but who know best How to conciliate men's hearts with flattery; So that if any one should eat a radish, Or stinking shad, they'd take their oaths at once That he had eaten lilies, roses, violets; And that if any odious smell should rise, They'd ask where you did get such lovely scents. So that because these men behave so basely, That which was used to be accounted honourable, Is now accounted base. 37. And Axionicus, in his Chalcidian, says— When first I wish'd to play the parasite With that Philoxenus, while youth did still Raise down upon my cheeks, I learnt to bear Hard blows from fists, and cups and dishes too, All over wounds; but still it paid me well, For still the pleasure did exceed the pain. And even in some sort I did esteem The whole affair desirable for me. Is a man quarrelsome, and eager too To fight with me? I turn myself to him; And all the blame which he does heap upon me, I own to be deserved; and am not hurt. Does any wicked man call himself good? I praise that man, and earn his gratitude. To day if I should eat some boilÈd fish I do not mind eating the rest to-morrow. Such is my nature and my principle. But Antidotus, in his play which is entitled Protochorus, introduces a man resembling those who in the Museum of Claudius still practise their sophistries; whom it is not even creditable to remember; and he represents him speaking thus— Stand each one in your place, and listen to me, Before I write my name, and take my cloak. If any question should arise to day About those men who live as parasites, I have at all times much esteem'd their art, And from my childhood have inclined to learn it. 38. And among the parasites these men are commemorated by name: Tithymallus, who is mentioned by Alexis in his Milesian Woman, and in his Ulysses the Weaver. And in his Olynthians he says— This is your poor man, O my darling woman; This is the only class, as men do say, Who can put death to flight. Accordingly This Tithymallus does immortal live. And Dromon in his Psaltria says—
And Timocles, in his Centaur or Dexamenus, says— Calling him Tithymallus, parasite. And in his Caunians he says—
And in his Epistles he says— Alas me, how I am in love! ye gods! Not Tithymallus did so long to eat, Nor Cormus ever to steal another's cloak, Nor Nilus to eat cakes, nor Corydus To exercise his teeth at other's cost. And Antiphanes says in his Etrurian—
39. Corydus also was one of the most notorious parasites. And he is mentioned by Timocles, in his The Man who Rejoices at Misfortunes of others, thus— To see a well-stock'd market is a treat To a rich man, but torture to a poor one. Accordingly once Corydus, when he Had got no invitation for the day, Went to buy something, to take home with him. And who can cease to laugh at what befel him?— The man had only fourpence in his purse; Gazing on tunnies, eels, crabs, rays, anchovies, He bit his lips till the blood came in vain; Then going round, "How much is this?" said he— Then frighten'd at the price, he bought red herrings. And Alexis, in Demetrius or PhiletÆrus, says— I fear to look at Corydus in the face, Seeming so glad to dine with any one; But I will not deny it; he's the same, And never yet refused an invitation. And in his Nurse he says— This Corydus who has so often practised His jokes and witticisms, wishes now To be BlepÆus, and he's not far wrong, For mighty are the riches of BlepÆus. And Cratinus the younger in his Titans says— Beware of Corydus the wary brassfounder; Unless you make your mind up long before To leave him nothing. And I warn you now As Corydus; for he's a powerful hand, Brazen, unwearied, strong as fire itself. But that Corydus used to cut jokes, and was fond of being laughed at for them, the same Alexis tells to in his Poets— I have a great desire to raise a laugh, And to say witty things, and gain a fame Second alone to that of Corydus. And Lynceus the Samian repeats several of his sayings, and asserts that his proper name was Eucrates. And he writes thus concerning him—"Eucrates, who was called Corydus, when he was once feasting with some one whose house was in a very shabby condition, said, 'A man who sups here ought to hold up the house with his left hand like the Caryatides.'" 40. But Philoxenus, who was surnamed Pternocopis, when it happened to be mentioned that thrushes were very dear, and that too while Corydus was present, who was said formerly to have prostituted himself—"I," said he, "can recollect when a lark (????d??) only cost an obol." (And Philoxenus too was a parasite, as Axionicus has stated in his Chalcidian. But the statement is thoroughly proved.) Menander too mentions him in his Cecryphalus, calling him Pternocopis only. And Machon the comic writer mentions him.—But Machon was either a Corinthian or Sicyonian by birth, living, however, in my own city of Alexandria; and he was the tutor of Aristophanes the grammarian, as far as comedy went. And he died in Alexandria, and an inscription to the following effect is placed upon his tomb— Bring, O light dust, the conqueror's ivy wreath To Machon, who shall live beyond the tomb, Machon the comic poet; for you hold No dirty drone, but you embrace at last A worthy relic of antique renown These words from the old bard himself might flow, City of Cecrops; even by the Nile Is found at times a plant to all the Muses dear. And surely this is equivalent to a statement that he was an Alexandrian by birth. However that may be, Machon mentions Corydus in these terms— A messmate once ask'd Eucrates (Corydus) On what terms he and Ptolemy did stand. I'm sure, said he, I cannot tell myself: For oft he drenches me like any doctor; But never gives me solid food to eat. 41. But Alexis, in his Trophonius, mentions a certain Moschion, a parasite, calling him "a messmate of every one," and saying— Then comes Moschion, Who bears the name of messmate in the world. And in his Pancratiast, Alexis, giving a regular catalogue of the dinner hunters, says—
But Epicrates was nicknamed Cyrebion, and he was the son-in-law of Æschines the orator, as Demosthenes tells us in the oration about the False Embassy. And Anaxandrides, in his Ulysses, mentions such epithets as these, which the Athenians used to affix to people out of joke; saying— For ye are always mocking one another; I know it well. And if a man be handsome You call him Holy Marriage .... If a man be a perfect dwarf, a mannikin, You call him Drop. Is any one a dandy? He is called Ololus; you know an instance. Does a man walk about all fat and heavy, Like Damocles? you call him Gravy Soup. Does any one love dirt? his name is Dust. Does any one bedaub his friends with flattery? He is the fasting Cestrinus; and if One casts one's eye upon a handsome youth, They dub one CÆnus, or The Manager. Does one in joke convey a lamb away? They call one Atreus; or a ram? then Phrixus: Or if you take a fleece, they name you Jason. 42. And he mentions ChÆrephon the parasite in the passage which precedes this. But Menander mentions him likewise in the Cecryphalus: and in his Anger he says— The man does not differ the least from ChÆrephon, Whoever he may be. He once was ask'd to supper At four o'clock, and so he early rose, And measuring the shadow on the dial By the moon's light, he started off and came To eat his supper at the break of day. And in his Drunkenness he says— That witty fellow ChÆrephon delay'd me, Saying that he should make a marriage feast The twenty-second of the month, that then He might dine with his friends the twenty-fourth, For that the goddess's affairs were prospering. And he mentions him also in his Man-woman, or the Cretan. But Timocles in his Letters mentions him especially as having attached himself as a parasite to Demotion, who was an intemperate man— But Demotion was one who spared for nothing, Thinking his money never could run dry, But dinners gave to all who liked to come. And ChÆrephon, that wretchedest of men, Treated his house as though it were his own. And yet is not this a most shameful thing, To take a branded slave for a parasite? For he's a perfect clown, and not in want. And Antiphanes says in his Scythian— Let us go now to sup, just as we are, Bearing our torches and our garlands with us; 'Twas thus that ChÆrephon, when supperless, Used to manoeuvre for an invitation. And Timotheus says in his Puppy— Let us start off to go to supper now, 'Tis one of twenty covers as he told me; Though ChÆrephon perhaps may add himself. 43. And Apollodorus the Carystian, in his Priestess, says— They say that ChÆrephon all uninvited Came to the wedding feast of Ophelas, For carrying a basket and a garland When it was dark, he said that he had come By order of the bride, bringing some birds, And on this pretext he did get his supper. And in his Murdered Woman he says— I Mars invoke, and mighty Victory, To favour this my expedition. I also call on ChÆrephon—but then He's sure to come, e'en if I call him not. And Machon the comic writer says— Once ChÆrephon a lengthen'd journey took Out of the city to a wedding feast, And on his way met Diphilus the poet, Who greeted him—"Take my advice, O ChÆrephon, And fasten four stout nails to your two cheeks; Lest, while you shake your head in your long journey, You should put both your jaws quite out of joint. And in another place he says— ChÆrephon once was purchasing some meat, And when the butcher was by chance, he says, Cutting him out a joint with too much bone, He said, O butcher, don't weigh me that bone. Says he, The meat is sweet, indeed men say The meat is always sweetest near the bone. But ChÆrephon replied, It may be sweet, But still it weighs much heavier than I like. And Callimachus attributes to ChÆrephon a certain treatise, in the list which he gives, entitled, A Catalogue of all sorts of Things. And he writes thus:—"Those who have written about feasts:—ChÆrephon in his Cyrebion;" and then he quotes the first sentence—"Since you have often written to me;" and says that the work consisted of three hundred and seventy-five lines. And that Cyrebion was a parasite has been already mentioned. 44. Machon also mentions Archephon the parasite, and says— There was a parasite named Archephon, Who, having sail'd from Attica to Egypt, Was ask'd by Ptolemy the king to supper. Then many kinds of fish which cling to rocks Were served up, genuine crabs, and dainty limpets; And last of all appear'd a large round dish With three boil'd tench of mighty size, at which The guests all marvell'd; and this Archephon Ate of the char, and mackerel, and mullets, Had tasted anything before more tender Than sprats and worthless smelts from the Phalerum; But from the tench he carefully abstain'd. And this did seem a most amazing thing, So that the king inquired of Alcenor, Whether the man had overlook'd the tench. The hunchback said; No, quite the contrary, He was the first to see them, Ptolemy, But still he will not touch them, for this fish Is one he holds in awe; and he's afraid And thinks it quite against his country's rules That he, while bringing nothing to the feast, Should dare to eat a fish which has a vote. 45. And Alexis in his Wine-Bibber introduces Stratius the parasite as grumbling at the man who gives him his dinner, and speaking thus— I'd better be a parasite of Pegasus, Or the BoreadÆ, or whoever else Is faster still, than thus to Demeas Eteobutades, the son of Laches, For he is not content to walk, but flies. And a little afterwards he says—
And Axionicus the comic poet, in his Etrurian, mentions Gryllion the parasite in these words— They cannot now make the excuse of wine, As Gryllion was always used to do. And Aristodemus, in the second book of his Memoranda of Laughable Things, gives the following list of parasites—Sostratus the parasite of Antiochus the king, Evagoras the Hunchback, parasite of Demetrius Poliorcetes, and Phormio parasite of Seleucus. And Lynceus the Samian, in his Apophthegms, says—"Silanus the Athenian, when Gryllion the parasite of Menander the satrap was passing by in a superb robe, and accompanied by a great number of attendants, being asked who he was, said, "He is a jaw worthy of Menander." But ChÆrephon the parasite, coming once to a wedding feast 46. And that it was a custom for the officers called gynÆconomi And Menander says in his Cecryphalus— Knowing that by some new law lately pass'd, The cooks who minister at marriage feasts Have given in their names and are enroll'd In the books of the gynÆconomi, So that they may the number learn of those Who are invited, lest a man should feast More than the legal number. And Philochorus, in the seventh book of his history of the Affairs of Attica, says—The gynÆconomi used, in conjunction with the judges of the Areopagus, to examine the parties in private houses, and at marriage feasts, and at all other festivals and sacrifices. 47. And Lynceus records the following sayings of Corydus:—"Once when a courtesan whose name was Gnome was supping with Corydus, the wine ran short, on which he desired every one to contribute two obols; and said that Gnome should contribute whatever the people thought fit. And once when Polyctor the harp-player was eating lentil porridge, and had got a stone between his teeth, 'O you unhappy man!' said Corydus, 'even a lentil strikes you.'" It seems that once a wretched harp-player, Being about to build himself a house, Begg'd of a friend to lend him a few stones; And many more will I repay, he said, When I've display'd my art to all the people. And once, when somebody said to Corydus that he sometimes kissed the neck, and the breasts, and even the navel (?fa???) of his wife, "That is very wrong," said he; "for even Hercules went from Omphale to Hebe." And when Phyromachus dipped a piece of bread into some lentil porridge, and upset the dish, he said that it was right that he should be fined, because he did not know how to eat properly, though he professed to. And once, at Ptolemy's table, when a ragout was carried round to the guests, but was finished before it came to him—"O Ptolemy," said he, "am I drunk, or am I right in thinking that these dishes are carried round?" And when ChÆrephon the parasite said that he was unable to stand much wine, he rejoined, "No, nor stand what is put into the wine either." And once, when at some entertainment ChÆrephon rose up from supper quite naked—"O ChÆrephon," said he, "you are just like a bottle, so that we can see how nearly full you are." And when Demosthenes received that goblet from Harpalus—"This man," said he, "who calls other men hard drinkers, has himself swallowed a large cup." And, as he was in the habit of bringing dirty loaves to supper, once, when somebody else brought some which were blacker still, he said, "that he had not brought loaves, but the shades of loaves." 48. And Philoxenus the parasite, who was surnamed Pternocopis, once was dining with Python, and olives (???a?) were put on the table, and after a little while a dish of fish was brought; and he, striking the dish, said— ??st??e? d' ??a??. And once, at supper, when the man who had invited him had set loaves of black bread before him, he said; "Do not give me too many, lest you should darken the room." And Pausimachus said of a certain parasite who was maintained by an old woman, "That the man who lived with the old woman fared in exactly the contrary manner to the old woman They say that Moschion the water drinker Once, when he was with friends in the Lyceum, Seeing a parasite who was used to live Upon a rich old woman, said to him, "My friend, your fate is truly marvellous; For your old dame does give you a big belly." And the same man, hearing of a parasite who was maintained by an old woman, and who lived in habits of daily intimacy with her, said— Nothing is strange henceforth, she brings forth nothing, But the man daily doth become big-bellied. And Ptolemy, the son of Agesarchus, a native of Megalopolis, in the second book of his history of Philopator, says that men to dine with the king were collected from every city, and that they were called jesters. 49. And Posidonius of Apamea, in the twenty-third book of his histories, says, "The CeltÆ, even when they make war, take about with them companions to dine with them, whom they call parasites. And these men celebrate their praises before large companies assembled together, and also to private individuals who are willing to listen to them: they have also a description of people called Bards, who make them music; and these are poets, who recite their praises with songs. And in his thirty-fourth book, the same writer speaks of a man whose name was Apollonius, as having been the parasite of Antiochus surnamed Grypus, king of Syria. And Aristodemus relates that Bithys, the parasite of king Lysimachus, once, when Lysimachus threw a wooden figure of a scorpion on his cloak, leaped up in a great fright; but presently, when he perceived the truth, he said, "I, too, will frighten you, O king!—give me a talent." For Lysimachus was very stingy. And Agatharchides the Cnidian, in the twenty-second book of his history of Europe, says that Anthemocritus the pancratiast was the parasite of Aristomachus, the tyrant of the Argives. 50. And Timocles has spoken in general terms of parasites in his Boxer, when he calls them ?p?s?t??? in these words— You will find here some of the parasites (?p?s?t???) Who eat at other men's tables till they burst, That you might say they give themselves to athletes To act as quintain sacks.
For those men are properly called ?p?s?t??? who do any service for their keep. Plato says, in the fourth book of his treatise on Politics, "And the ?p?s?t??? do these things, who do not, as others do, receive any wages in addition to their food." And Aristophanes says, in his Storks— For if you prosecute one wicked man, Twelve ?p?s?t??? will come against you, And so defeat you by their evidence. And Eubulus says, in his DÆdalus— He wishes to remain an ?p?s?t??? Among them, and will never ask for wages. 51. And Diphilus, in his Synoris (and Synoris is the name of a courtesan), mentioning Euripides (and Euripides is the name given to a particular throw on the dice), and punning on the name of the poet, says this at the same time about parasites:—
And in the amended edition of the same play, speaking of a parasite in a passion, he says— Is then the parasite angry? is he furious? Not he; he only smears with gall the table, And weans himself like any child from milk. And immediately afterwards he adds—
And in the play, which is entitled The Parasite, he says— A surly man should never be a parasite. 52. And Menander, in his Passion, speaking of a friend who had refused an invitation to a marriage feast, says— This is to be a real friend: not one Who asks, What time is dinner? as the rest do. And, Why should we not all at once sit down? And fishes for another invitation To-morrow and next day, and then again Asks if there's not a funeral feast to follow. And Alexis in his Orestes, Nicostratus in his Plutus, Menander in his Drunkenness, and in his Lawgiver, speak in the same way; and Philonides, in his Buskins, says— I being abstinent cannot endure Such things as these. But there are many other kindred nouns to the noun pa??s?t??: there is ?p?s?t??, which has already been mentioned; and ????s?t??, and s?t???????, and a?t?s?t??; and besides these, there is ?a??s?t?? and ?????s?t??: and Anaxandrides uses the word ????s?t?? in his Huntsmen— A son who feeds at home (????s?t??) is a great comfort. And a man is called ????s?t?? who serves the city, not for hire, but gratis. Antiphanes, in his Scythian, says— The ????s?t?? quickly doth become A regular attendant at th' assembly. And Menander says, in his Ring— We found a bridegroom willing to keep house (????s?t??) At his own charges, for no dowry seeking. And in his Harp-player he says— You do not get your hearers there for nothing (????s?t???). Crates uses the word ?p?s?t??? in his Deeds of Daring, saying— He feeds his messmate (?p?s?t???) while he shivers thus In Megabyzus' house, and he will have Food for his wages. And he also uses the word in a peculiar sense in his Women dining together, where he says— It is a well-bred custom not to assemble A crowd of women, nor to feast a multitude; But to make a domestic (????s?t???) wedding feast. You will be but a walking bread-devourer (s?t???????) And Menander calls a man who is useless, and who lives to no purpose, s?t???????, in his Thrasyleon, saying— A lazy ever-procrastinating fellow, A s?t???????, miserable, useless, Owning himself a burden on the earth. And in his Venal People he says— Wretch, you were standing at the door the while, Having laid down your burden; while, for us, We took the wretched s?t??????? in. And Crobylus used the word a?t?s?t?? (bringing one's own provisions), in The Man hanged— A parasite a?t?s?t??, feeding himself, You do contribute much to aid your master. And Eubulus has the word ?a??s?t?? (eating badly, having no appetite), in his Ganymede— Sleep nourishes him since he's no appetite (?a??s?t??). And the word ?????s?t?? (a sparing eater) occurs in Phrynichus, in his The solitary Man— What does that sparing eater (?????s?t??) Hercules there? And Pherecrates, or Strattis, in his Good Men— How sparingly you eat, who in one day Swallow the food of an entire trireme. 53. When Plutarch had said all this about parasites, Democritus, taking up the discourse, said, And I myself, 'like wood well-glued to wood,' as the Theban poet has it, will say a word about flatterers. For of all men the flatterer fares best, as the excellent Menander says. And there is no great difference between calling a man a flatterer and a parasite. Accordingly, Lynceus the Samian, in his Commentaries, gives the name of parasite to Cleisophus, the man who is universally described as the flatterer of Philip, the king of the Macedonians (but he was an Athenian by birth, as Satyrus the Peripatetic affirms, in his Life of Philip). And Lynceus says—"Cleisophus, the parasite of Philip, when Philip rebuked him for being continually asking for something, replied, 'I am very forgetful.' Afterwards, when Philip had given him a wounded horse, he sold him; and when, after a time, the king 54. But Satyrus, in his Life of Philip, says, "When Philip lost his eye, Cleisophus came forth with him, with bandages on the same eye as the king; and again, when his leg was hurt, he came out limping, along with the king. And if ever Philip ate any harsh or sour food, he would contract his features, as if he, too, had the same taste in his mouth. But in the country of the Arabs they used to do these things, not out of flattery, but in obedience to some law; so that whenever the king had anything the matter with any one of his limbs, the courtiers pretended to be suffering the same inconvenience: for they think it ridiculous to be willing to be buried with him when he dies, but not to pay him the compliment of appearing to be subject to the same sufferings as he is while alive, if he sustains any injury." But Nicolaus of Damascus,—and he was one of the Peripatetic school,—in his very voluminous history (for it consisted of a hundred and forty-four books), in the hundred and eleventh book says, that Adiatomus the king of the Sotiani (and that is a Celtic tribe) had six hundred picked men about him, who were called by the Gauls, in their national language, Siloduri—which word means in Greek, Bound under a vow. "And the king has them as companions, to live with him and to die with him; as that is the vow which they all take. In return for which, they also share his power, and wear the same dress, and eat the same food; and they die when he dies, as a matter of absolute necessity, if the king dies of any disease; or if he dies in war, or in any other manner. And no one can even say that any of them has shown any fear of death, or has in the least sought to evade it when the king is dead." 55. But Theopompus says, in the forty-fourth book of his Until I meet with men who know not Philip. But Phylarchus, in the twenty-first book of his History, says that Philip laughed at this, and invited Arcadion to supper, and that in that way he got rid of his enmity. But of Nicesias the flatterer of Alexander, Hegesander gives the following account:—"When Alexander complained of being bitten by the flies and was eagerly brushing them off, a man of the name of Nicesias, one of his flatterers who happened to be present, said,—Beyond all doubt those flies will be far superior to all other flies, now that they have tasted your blood." And the same man says that Cheirisophus also, the flatterer of Dionysius, when he saw Dionysius laughing with some of his acquaintances, (but he was some way off himself, so that he could not hear what they were laughing at,) laughed also. And when Dionysius asked him on what account he, who could not possibly hear what was said, laughed, said—I feel that confidence in you that I am quite sure that what has been said is worth laughing at. 56. His son also, the second Dionysius, had numerous flatterers, who were called by the common people Dionysiocolaces. And they, because Dionysius himself was not very sharp sighted, used to pretend while at supper not to be able to see very far, but they would touch whatever was near them as if they could not see it, until Dionysius himself guided their hands to the dishes. And when Dionysius spat, they would often put out their own faces for him to spit upon: and then And once, when some friends were invited to supper by Dionysius, Dionysius coming into the room, said, "O, my friends, letters have been sent to us from the generals who have been despatched to Naples;" and Democles interrupting him, said, "By the gods, they have done well, O Dionysius." And he, looking upon him, said, "But how do you know whether what they have written is in accordance with my expectation or the contrary?" And Democles replied, "By the gods, you have properly rebuked me, O Dionysius." TimÆus also affirms that there was a man named Satyrus, who was a flatterer of both the Dionysii. 57. And Hegesander relates that Hiero the tyrant was Detesting tables where there was too much pride (?????). But those who were the leaders of the people at Athens, says he, in the Chremonidean war, flattered the Athenians, and said, "that everything else was common to all the Greeks; but that the Athenians were the only men who knew the road which leads to heaven." And Satyrus, in his Lives, says that Anaxarchus, the EudÆmonical philosopher, was one of the flatterers of Alexander; and that he once, when on a journey in company with the king, when a violent and terrible thunderstorm took place, so as to frighten everybody, said—"Was it you, O Alexander, son of Jupiter, who caused this?" And that he laughed and said—"Not I; for I do not wish to be formidable, as you make me out; you also desire me to have brought to me at supper the heads of satraps and kings." And Aristobulus of Cassandria says that Dioxippus the Athenian, a pancratiast, once when Alexander was wounded and when the blood flowed, said— 'Tis ichor, such as flows from the blessed gods. 58. And Epicrates the Athenian, having gone on an embassy to the king, according to the statement of Hegesander, and having received many presents from him, was not ashamed to flatter the king openly and boldly, so as even to say that the best way was not to choose nine archons every year, but nine ambassadors to the king. But I wonder at the Athenians, how they allowed him to make such a speech without bringing him to trial, and yet fined Demades ten talents, because he thought Alexander a god; and they put Evagoras to death, because when he went as ambassador to the king he adored him. And Timon the Phliasian, in the third book of his Silli, says that Ariston the Chian, an acquaintance and pupil of Zeno the Citiean, was a flatterer 59. But Euphantus, in the fourth book of his Histories, says that Callicrates was a flatterer of Ptolemy, the third king of Egypt, who was so subtle a flatterer that he not only bore an image of Ulysses on his seal, but that he also gave his children the names of Telegonus, and Anticlea. And Polybius, in the thirteenth book of his Histories, says that Heraclides the Tarentine was a flatterer of the Philip whose power was destroyed by the Romans; and that it was he who overturned his whole kingdom. And in his fourteenth book, he says that Philo was a flatterer of Agathocles the son of Œnanthe, and the companion of the king Ptolemy Philopator. And Baton of Sinope relates, in his book about the tyranny of Hieronymus, that Thraso, who was surnamed Carcharus, was the flatterer of Hieronymus the tyrant of Syracuse, saying that he every day used to drink a great quantity of unmixed wine. But another flatterer, by name Osis, caused Thraso to be put to death by Hieronymus; and he persuaded Hieronymus himself to assume the diadem, and the purple and all the rest of the royal apparel, which Dionysius the tyrant was accustomed to wear. And Agatharchides, in the thirtieth book of his Histories, says—"HÆresippus the Spartan was a man of no moderate iniquity, not even putting on any appearance of goodness; but having very persuasive flattering language, and being a very clever man at paying court to the rich as long as their fortune lasted. Such also was Heraclides the Maronite, the flatterer of Seuthes the king of the Thracians, who is mentioned by Xenophon in the seventh book of the Anabasis. 60. But Theopompus, in the eighteenth book of his Histories, speaking of Nicostratus the Argive, and saying 61. Nicolaus, in the hundred and fourteenth book of his Histories, says that Andromachus of CarrhÆ was a flatterer of Licinius Crassus, who commanded the expedition against the Parthians; and that Crassus communicated all his designs to him, and was, in consequence, betrayed to the Parthians by him, and so destroyed. But Andromachus was not allowed by the deity to escape unpunished. For having obtained, as the reward of his conduct, the sovereignty over his native place CarrhÆ, he behaved with such cruelty and violence that he was burnt with his whole family by the Carrhans. And Posidonius the Apamean, who was afterwards surnamed Rhodius, in the fourth book of his Histories, says that Hierax of Antioch, who used formerly to accompany the 62. The whole populace of the Athenians, too, was very notorious for the height to which it pushed its flattery; accordingly, Demochares the cousin of Demosthenes the orator, in the twentieth book of his Histories, speaking of the flattery practised by the Athenians towards Demetrius Poliorcetes, and saying that he himself did not at all like it, writes as follows—"And some of these things annoyed him greatly, as they well might. And, indeed, other parts of their conduct were utterly mean and disgraceful. They consecrated temples to LeÆna Venus and Lamia Venus, and they erected altars and shrines as if to heroes, and instituted libations in honour of Burichus, and Adeimantus, and Oxythemis, his flatterers. And poems were sung in honour of all these people, so that even Demetrius himself was astonished at what they did, and said that in his time there was not one Athenian of a great or vigorous mind." The Thebans also flattered Demetrius, as Polemo relates in the treatise on the Ornamented Portico at Sicyon; and they, too, erected a temple to Lamia Venus. But she was one of Demetrius's mistresses, as also was LeÆna. So that why should we wonder at the Athenians, who stooped even to become flatterers of flatterers, singing pÆans and hymns to Demetrius himself? Accordingly Demochares, in the twenty-first book of his Histories, says—"And the Athenians received Demetrius when he came from Leucadia and Corcyra to Athens, not only with frankincense, and crowns, and libations of wine, but they even went out to meet him with hymns, and choruses, and ithyphalli, and dancing and singing, and they stood in front of him in multitudes, dancing and singing, and saying that he was the only true god, and that all the rest of the gods were either asleep, or gone away to a distance, or were no gods at 63. Demochares, then, has said all this about the adulatory spirit and conduct of the Athenians. And Duris the Samian, in the twenty-second book of his Histories, has given the very ithyphallic hymn which they addressed to him— Behold the greatest of the gods and dearest Are come to this city, For here Demeter Present in season. She indeed comes to duly celebrate The sacred mysteries Of her most holy daughter—he is present Joyful and beautiful, As a god ought to be, with smiling face Showering his blessings round. How noble doth he look! his friends around, Himself the centre. His friends resemble the bright lesser stars, Himself is Phoebus. Hail, ever-mighty Neptune's mightier son; Hail, son of Venus. For other gods do at a distance keep, Or have no ears, Or no existence; and they heed not us— But you are present, Not made of wood or stone, a genuine god. We pray to thee. First of all give us peace, O dearest god— For you are lord of peace— And crush for us yourself, for you've the power, This odious Sphinx; Which now destroys not Thebes alone, but Greece— The whole of Greece— I mean th' Ætolian, who, like her of old, Sits on a rock, And tears and crushes all our wretched bodies. Nor can we him resist. For all th' Ætolians plunder all their neighbours; And now they stretch afar Their lion hands; but crush them, mighty lord, Or send some Œdipus Who shall this Sphinx hurl down from off his precipice, Or starve him justly. Boy, give a larger cup, and pour therein Four cyathi of strong and friendly drink, In honour of all present. Then you shall add Three more for love; one for the victory, The glorious victory of King Antigonus, Another for the young Demetrius. ***** And presently he adds— Bring a third cup in honour now of Venus, The lovely Venus. Hail, my friends and guests; I drink this cup to the success of all of you. 65. Such were the Athenians at that time, after flattery, that worst of wild beasts, had inspired their city with frenzy, that city which once the Pythia entitled the Hearth of Greece, and which Theopompus, who hated them, called the Prytaneum of Greece; he who said in other places that Athens was full of drunken flatterers, and sailors, and pickpockets, and also of false witnesses, sycophants, and false accusers. And it is my opinion that it was they who introduced all the flattery which we have been speaking of, like a storm, or other infliction, sent on men by the gods; concerning which Diogenes said, very elegantly—"That it was much better to go ?? ???a?a? than ?? ???a?a?, who eat up all the good men while they are still alive;" and, accordingly, Anaxilas says, in his Young Woman— The flatterers are worms which prey upon All who have money; for they make an entrance Into the heart of a good guileless man, And take their seat there, and devour it, Till they have drain'd it like the husk of wheat, And leave the shell; and then attack some other. And Plato says, in his PhÆdrus—"Nature has mingled some pleasure which is not entirely inelegant in its character of a flatterer, though he is an odious beast, and a great injury to a state." And Theophrastus, in his treatise on Flattery, A flatterer destroys By his pernicious speeches Both general and prince, Both private friends and states; He pleases for a while, But causes lasting ruin. And now this evil habit Has spread among the people, Our courts are all diseased, And all is done by favour. So that the Thessalians did well who razed the city which was called Colaceia (Flattery), which the Melians used to inhabit, as Theopompus relates in the thirtieth book of his History. 66. But Phylarchus says, that those Athenians who settled in Lemnos were great flatterers, mentioning them as such in the thirteenth book of his History. For that they, wishing to display their gratitude to the descendants of Seleucus and Antiochus, because Seleucus not only delivered them when they were severely oppressed by Lysimachus, but also restored both their cities to them,—they, I say, the Athenians in Lemnos, not only erected temples to Seleucus, but also to his son Antiochus; and they have given to the cup, which at their feasts is offered at the end of the banquet, the name of the cup of Seleucus the Saviour. Now some people, perverting the proper name, call this flattery ???s?e?a, complaisance; as Anaxandrides does in his Samian, where he says— For flattery is now complaisance call'd. But those who devote themselves to flattery are not aware that that art is one which flourishes only a short time. Accordingly, Alexis says in his Liar— A flatterer's life but a brief space endures, For no one likes a hoary parasite. 67. But Clearchus the Solensian, in his book which is inscribed Gergithius, tells us whence the origin of the name flatterer is derived; and mentioning Gergithius himself, from whom the treatise has its name, he says that he was one of Alexander's flatterers; and he tells the story thus—"That flattery debases the characters of the flatterers, making them apt to despise whoever they associate with; and a proof of this is, that they endure everything, well knowing what they dare do. And those who are flattered by them, being puffed up by their adulation, they make foolish and empty-headed, and cause them to believe that they, and everything belonging to them, are of a higher order than other people." And then proceeding to mention a certain young man, a Paphian by birth, but a king by the caprice of fortune, he says—"This young man (and he does not mention his name) used out of his preposterous luxury to lie on a couch with silver feet, with a smooth Sardian carpet spread under it of the most expensive description. And over him was thrown a piece of purple cloth, edged with a scarlet fringe; and he had three pillows under his head made of the finest linen, and of purple colour, by which he kept himself cool. And under his feet he had two pillows of the kind called Dorian, of a bright crimson colour; and on all this he lay himself, clad in a white robe. 68. "And all the monarchs who have at any time reigned in Cyprus have encouraged a race of nobly-born flatterers as useful to them; for they are a possession very appropriate to tyrants. And no one ever knows them (any more than they do the judges of the Areopagus), either how many they are, or who they are, except that perhaps some of the most 69. "There were also in this country, in the time of Glutus the Carian, women attaching themselves to the Queens, who were called flatterers; and a few of them who were left crossed the sea, and were sent for to the wives of Artabazus and Mentor, and instead of ???a??de? were called ???a??de? from this circumstance. By way of making themselves agreeable to those who had sent for them, they made a ladder (???a??a) of themselves, in such a manner that there was a way of ascending over their backs, and also a way of descending, for their mistresses when they drove out in chariots: to such a 70. And a little further Clearchus goes on as follows:—"But still a man may have a right to find fault with that young man for the way in which he used those things, as I have said before. For his slaves stood in short tunics a little behind the couch: and as there are now three men on whose account all this discussion has been originated, and as all these men are men who have separate names among us, the one sat on the couch close to his feet, letting the feet of the young man rest upon his knees, and covering them with a thin cloth; and what he did further is plain enough, even if I do not mention it. And this servant is called by the natives Parabystus, because he works his way into the company of those men even who do not willingly receive him, by the very skilful character of his flatteries. The second was one sitting on a certain chair which was placed close to the couch; and he, holding by the hand of the young man, as he let it almost drop, and clinging to it, kept on rubbing it, and taking each of his fingers in turn he rubbed it and stretched it, so that the man appeared to have said a very witty thing who first gave that officer the name of Sicya. "So when the young man was stung, this man uttered such a loud scream in his behalf, and was so indignant, that on account of his hatred to one fly he banished the whole tribe of flies from his house: from which it is quite plain that he appointed this servant for this especial purpose." 71. But Leucon, the tyrant of Pontus, was a different kind of man, who when he knew that many of his friends had been plundered by one of the flatterers whom he had about him, perceiving that the man was calumniating some one of his remaining friends, said, "I swear by the gods that I would kill you if a tyrannical government did not stand in need of bad men." And Antiphanes the comic writer, in his Soldier, gives a similar account of the luxury of the kings in Cyprus. And he represents one of them as asking a soldier these questions—
72. The flatterer (???a?) of that young man whom we have been speaking of must have been a a?a?????a?, (a soft flatterer,) as Clearchus says. For besides flattering such a man as that, he invents a regular gait and dress harmonizing with that of those who receive the flattery, folding his arms and wrapping himself up in a small cloak; on which account some men call him Paranconistes, and some call him a Repository of Attitudes. For really a flatterer does seem to be the very same person with Proteus himself. Accordingly he changes into nearly every sort of person, not only in form, but also in his discourse, so very varied in voice he is. But Androcydes the physician said that flattery had its name (?????e?a) from becoming glued (?p? t?? p??s?????s?a?) to men's acquaintance. But it appears to me that they were named from their facility; because a flatterer will undergo anything, like a person who stoops down to carry another on his back, by reason of his natural disposition, not being annoyed at anything, however disgraceful it may be. And a man will not be much out who calls the life of that young Cyprian a wet one. And Alexis says that there were many tutors and teachers of that kind of life at Athens, speaking thus in his Pyraunus— And Crobylus says in his Female Deserter— The wetness of your life amazes me, For men do call intemperance now wetness. 73. And Antiphanes, in his Lemnian Women, lays it down that flattery is a kind of art, where he says— Is there, or can there be an art more pleasing, Or any source of gain more sure and gainful Than well-judged flattery? Why does the painter Take so much pains and get so out of temper? Why does the farmer undergo such risks? Indeed all men are full of care and trouble. But life for us is full of fun and laughter. To laugh and joke and drink full cups of wine, Is not that pleasant? How can one deny? 'Tis the next thing to being rich oneself. But Menander, in his play called the Flatterer, has given us the character of one as carefully and faithfully as it was possible to manage it: as also Diphilus has of a parasite in his Telesias. And Alexis, in his Liar, has introduced a flatterer speaking in the following manner— By the Olympian Jove and by Minerva I am a happy man. And not alone Because I'm going to a wedding dinner, But because I shall burst, an it please God. And would that I might meet with such a death. And it seems to me, my friends, that that fine epicure would not have scrupled to quote from the Omphale of Ion the tragedian, and to say— For I must speak of a yearly feast As if it came round every day. 74. But Hippias the ErythrÆan, in the second book of his Histories of his own Country, relating how the kingdom of Cnopus was subverted by the conduct of his flatterers, says this—"When Cnopus consulted the oracle about his safety, the god, in his answer, enjoined him to sacrifice to the crafty Mercury. And when, after that, he went to Delphi, they who were anxious to put an end to his kingly power in order to establish an oligarchy instead of it, (and those who wished this were Ortyges, and Irus, and Echarus, who, because they were most conspicuous in paying court to the princes, were called adorers and flatterers,) they, I say, being on a voyage in company with Cnopus, when they were at a distance from land, bound Cnopus and threw him into the sea; and then they sailed to Chios, and getting a force from the tyrants there, Amphiclus and Polytechnus, they sailed by night to ErythrÆ, and just at the same time the corpse of Cnopus was washed up on the sea-shore at ErythrÆ, at a place which is now called Leopodon. And while Cleonice, the wife of Cnopus, was busied about the offices due to the corpse, (and it was the time of the festival and assembly instituted in honour of Diana Stophea,) on a sudden there is heard the noise of a trumpet; and the city is taken by Ortyges and his troops, and many of the friends of Cnopus are put to death; and Cleonice, hearing what had happened, fled to Colophon. 76. Now from all this we may understand, my friends, of how many evils flattery is the cause in human life. For Theopompus, in the nineteenth book of his history of the Transactions of Philip, says, "Agathocles was a slave, and one of the PenestÆ in Thessaly, and as he had great influence with Philip by reason of his flattery of him, and because he was constantly at his entertainments dancing and making him laugh, Philip sent him to destroy the PerrhÆbi, and to govern all that part of the country. And the Macedonian constantly But he is harsh and rigorous to the solemn, But most good-humour'd to all flatterers, And all who jest with freedom. For he thinks Those men alone are free, though slaves they be. 77. And indeed Dionysius was not the only person who encouraged and received those who had squandered their estates on drunkenness and gambling and all such debauchery as that, for Philip also did the same. And Theopompus speaks of such of them in the forty-ninth book of his History, where he writes as follows:—"Philip kept at a distance all men who were well regulated in their conduct and who took care of their property; but the extravagant and those who lived in gambling and drunkenness he praised and honoured. And therefore he not only took care that they should always have such amusements, but he encouraged them to devote themselves to all sorts of injustice and debauchery besides. For what disgraceful or iniquitous practices were there to which 78. And Demetrius Poliorcetes was a man very fond of mirth, as Phylarchus relates in the tenth book of his History. But in the fourteenth book he writes as follows:—"Demetrius used to allow men to flatter him at his banquets, and to pour libations in his honour, calling him Demetrius the only king, and Ptolemy only the prefect of the fleet, and Lysimachus only a steward, and Seleucus only a superintendent of elephants, and in this way he incurred no small amount of hatred." And Herodotus states that Amasis the 79. And Theophrastus, in his treatise on Comedy, tells us that the Tirynthians, being people addicted to amusement, and utterly useless for all serious business, betook themselves once to the oracle at Delphi in hopes to be relieved from some calamity or other. And that the God answered them, "That if they sacrificed a bull to Neptune and threw it into the sea without once laughing, the evil would cease." And they, fearing lest they should make a blunder in obeying the oracle, forbade any of the boys to be present at the sacrifice; however, one boy, hearing of what was going to be done, mingled with the crowd, and then when they hooted him and drove him away, "Why," said he, "are you afraid lest I should spoil your sacrifice?" and when they laughed at this question of his, they perceived that the god meant to show them by a fact that an inveterate custom cannot be remedied. And Sosicrates, in the first book of his History of Crete, says that the PhÆstians have a certain peculiarity, for that they seem to practise saying ridiculous things from their earliest childhood; on which account it has often happened to them to say very reasonable and witty things because of their early habituation: and therefore all the Cretans attribute to them preeminence in the accomplishment of raising a laugh. 80. But after flattery, Anaxandrides the comic poet gives the next place to ostentation, in his Apothecary Prophet, speaking thus— Do you reproach me that I'm ostentatious? Why should you do so? for this quality Is far beyond all others, only flattery Excepted: that indeed is best of all. You are call'd a whisperer and psomocolax. And Sannyrion says— What will become of you, you cursed psomocolaces. And Philemon says in his Woman made young again— The man is a psomocolax. And Philippides says in his Renovation— Always contending and ??????a?e???. But the word ???a? especially applies to these parasitical flatterers; for ????? means food, from which come the words ???????, and d?s?????, which means difficult to be pleased and squeamish. And the word ?????a means that part of the body which receives the food, that is to say, the stomach. Diphilus also uses the word ??????af?? in his Theseus, saying— They call you a runaway ??????af??. 81. When Democritus had made this speech, and had asked for some drink in a narrow-necked sabrias, Ulpian said, And what is this sabrias? And just as Democritus was beginning to treat us all to a number of interminable stories, in came a troop of servants bringing in everything requisite for eating. Concerning whom Democritus, continuing his discourse, spoke as follows:—I have always, O my friends, marvelled at the race of slaves, considering how abstemious they are, though placed in the middle of such numbers of dainties; for they pass them by, not only out of fear, but also because they are taught to do so; I do not mean being taught in the Slave-teacher of Pherecrates, but by early habituation; and without its being necessary to utter any express prohibition respecting such matters to them, as in the island of Cos, when the citizens sacrifice to Juno. For Macareus says, in his third book of his treatise on Coan Affairs, that, when the Coans sacrifice to Juno, no slave is allowed to enter the temple, nor does any slave taste any one of the things which are prepared for the sacrifice. And Antiphanes, in his Dyspratus, And delicate birds half eaten; yet the slaves Are not allow'd to eat the fragments even, As say the women. And Epicrates, in his Dyspratus, introduces a servant expressing his indignation, and saying— What can be worse than, while the guests are drinking, To hear the constant cry of, Here, boy, here! And this that one may bear a chamberpot To some vain beardless youth; and see around Half eaten savoury cakes, and delicate birds, Whose very fragments are forbidden strictly To all the slaves—at least the women say so; And him who drinks a cup men call a belly-god; And if he tastes a mouthful of solid food They call him greedy glutton: from the comparison of which iambics, it is very plain that Epicrates borrowed Antiphanes's lines, and transferred them to his own play. 82. And Dieuchidas says, in his history of the Affairs of Megara—"Around the islands called ArÆÆ 83. And since among the different questions proposed by Ulpian, there is this one about the slaves, let us now ourselves recapitulate a few things which we have to say on the subject, remembering what we have in former times read about it. For Pherecrates, in his Boors, says— For no one then had any Manes, Nor home-born slaves; but the free women themselves Did work at everything within the house. And so at morn they ground the corn for bread, Till all the streets resounded with the mills. And Anaxandrides, in his Anchises, says— There is not anywhere, my friend, a state Of none but slaves; but fortune regulates And changes at its will th' estates of men. Many there are who are not free to day, But will to-morrow free-men be of Sunium, And the day after public orators; For so the deity guides each man's helm. 84. And Posidonius, the stoic philosopher, says in the eleventh book of his History, "That many men, who are unable to govern themselves, by reason of the weakness of their intellect, give themselves up to the guidance of those who are wiser than themselves, in order that receiving from them care and advice, and assistance in necessary matters, they may in their turn requite them with such services as they are able to render. And in this manner the Mariandyni became subject to the people of Heraclea, promising to act as their subjects for ever, if they would supply them with what they stood in need of; having made an agreement beforehand, that none of them would sell anything out of the territory of Heraclea, but that they would sell in that district alone. And perhaps it is on this account that Euphorion the epic poet called the Mariandyni Bringers of Gifts, saying— And they may well be call'd Bringers of Gifts, Fearing the stern dominion of their kings. And Callistratus the Aristophanean says that "they called the Mariandyni d???f????, by that appellation taking away whatever there is bitter in the name of servants, just as the And Ephorus, in the third book of his Histories, "The Cretans call their slaves ClarotÆ, because lots have been drawn for them; and those slaves have some regularly recurring festivals in Cydonia, during which no freemen enter the city, but the slaves are the masters of everything, and have the right even to scourge the freemen." But Sosicrates, in the second book of his History of Cretan Affairs, says, "The Cretans call public servitude ???a, but the private slaves they call aphamiotÆ; and the perioeci, or people who live in the adjacent districts, they call subjects. And Dosiadas gives a very similar account in the fourth book of his history of Cretan Affairs. 85. But the Thessalians call those PenestÆ who were not born slaves, but who have been taken prisoners in war. And Theopompus the comic poet, misapplying the word, says— The wrinkled counsellors of a Penestan master. And Philocrates, in the second book of his history of the Affairs of Thessaly, if at least the work attributed to him is genuine, says that the PenestÆ are also called ThessaloecetÆ, or servants of the Thessalians. And Archemachus, in the third book of his history of the Affairs of Euboea, says, "When the Boeotians had founded ArnÆa, those of them who did not return to Boeotia, but who took a fancy to their new country, gave themselves up to the Thessalians by agreement, to be their slaves; on condition that they should not take them out of the country, nor put them to death, but that they should cultivate the country for them, and pay them a yearly revenue for it. These men, therefore, abiding by their agreement, and giving themselves up to the Thessalians, were called at that time MenestÆ; but now they are called PenestÆ; ??t??? pe??st?? ??? ???a??? d???. 86. And TimÆus of Tauromenium, in the ninth book of his Histories, says, "It was not a national custom among the Greeks in former times to be waited on by purchased slaves;" and he proceeds to say, "And altogether they accused Aristotle of having departed from the Locrian customs; for they said that it was not customary among the Locrians, nor among the Phocians, to use either maid-servants or house-servants till very lately. But the wife of Philomelus, who took Delphi, was the first woman who had two maids to follow her. And in a similar manner Mnason, the companion of Aristotle, was much reproached among the Phocians, for having purchased a thousand slaves; for they said that he was depriving that number of citizens of their necessary subsistence: for that it was a custom in their houses for the younger men to minister to the elder." 87. And Plato, in the sixth book of the Laws, says,—"The whole question about servants is full of difficulty; for of all the Greeks, the system of the Helots among the LacedÆmonians causes the greatest perplexity and dispute, some people affirming that it is a wise institution, and some considering it as of a very opposite character. But the system of slavery among the people of Heraclea would cause less dispute than the subject condition of the Mariandyni; and so too would the condition of the Thessalian PenestÆ. And if we consider all these things, what ought we to do with respect to the acquisition of servants? For there is nothing sound in the feelings of slaves; nor ought a prudent man to trust them in anything of importance. And the wisest of all poets says— Jove fix'd it certain that whatever day Makes man a slave, takes half his worth away. And it has been frequently shown by facts, that a slave is an objectionable and perilous possession; especially in the frequent revolts of the Messenians, and in the case of those cities which have many slaves, speaking different languages, in which many evils arise from that circumstance. And also we may come to the same conclusion from the exploits and sufferings of all sorts of robbers, who infest the Italian coasts 88. Now of all the Greeks, I conceive that the Chians were the first people who used slaves purchased with money, as is related by Theopompus, in the seventeenth book of his Histories; where he says,—"The Chians were the first of the Greeks, after the Thessalians and LacedÆmonians, who used slaves. But they did not acquire them in the same manner as those others did; for the LacedÆmonians and the Thessalians will be found to have derived their slaves from Greek tribes, who formerly inhabited the country which they now possess: the one having AchÆan slaves, but the Thessalians having PerrhÆbian and Magnesian slaves; and the one nation called their slaves Helots, and the others called them PenestÆ. But the Chians have barbarian slaves, and they have bought them at a price." Theopompus, then, has given this account. But I think that, on this account, the Deity was angry with the Chians; for at a subsequent period they were subdued by their slaves. Accordingly, Nymphodorus the Syracusan, in his Voyage along the Coast of Asia, gives this account of them:—"The slaves of the Chians deserted them, and escaped to the mountains; and then, collecting in great numbers, ravaged the country-houses about; for the island is very rugged, and much overgrown with trees. But, a little before 89. "Accordingly, the Chians, having entered into a treaty with him, and having made a truce for a certain time, Drimacus prepares measures and weights, and a private seal for himself; and, throwing it to the Chians, he said, 'Whatever I take from any one of you, I shall take according to these measures and these weights; and when I have taken enough, I will then leave the storehouses, having sealed them up with this seal. And as to all the slaves who desert from you, I will inquire what cause of complaint they have; and if they seem to me to have been really subject to any incurable oppression, which has been the reason of their running away, I will retain them with me; but if they have no sufficient or reasonable ground to allege, I will send them back to their masters.' Accordingly, the rest of the slaves, seeing that the Chians agreed to this state of things, very good-humouredly did not desert nearly so much for the future, fearing the judgment which Drimacus might pass upon them. And the runaways who were with him feared him a great deal more than they did their own masters, and did everything that he required, obeying him as their general; for he punished the refractory with great severity: and he permitted no one to ravage the land, nor to commit any other crime of any sort, without his consent. And at the time of festivals, he went about, and took from the fields wine, and such animals for victims as were in good condition, and whatever else the 90. "Then (for the city had made a proclamation, that it would give a great reward to any one who took him prisoner, or who brought in his head,) this Drimacus, as he became older, calling one of his most intimate friends into a certain place, says to him, 'You know that I have loved you above all men, and you are to me as my child and my son, and as everything else. I now have lived long enough, but you are young and just in the prime of life. What, then, are we to do? You must show yourself a wise and brave man; for, since the city of the Chians offers a great reward to any one who shall kill me, and also promises him his freedom, you must cut off my head, and carry it to Chios, and receive the money which they offer, and so be prosperous.' But when the young man refused, he at last persuaded him to do so; and so he cut off his head; and took it to the Chians, and received from them the rewards which they had offered by proclamation: and, having buried the corpse of Drimacus, he departed to his own country. And the Chians, being again injured and plundered by their slaves, remembering the moderation of him who was dead, erected a Heroum in their country, and called it the shrine of the Gentle Hero. And even now the runaway slaves bring to that shrine the first-fruits of all the plunder they get; and they say that Drimacus still appears to many of the Chians in their sleep, and informs them beforehand of the stratagems of their slaves who are plotting against them: and to whomsoever he appears, they come to that place, and sacrifice to him, where this shrine is." 91. Nymphodorus, then, has given this account; but in many copies of his history, I have found that Drimachus is not mentioned by name. But I do not imagine that any one of you is ignorant, either of what the prince of all historians, Herodotus, has related of the Chian Panionium, and of what he justly suffered who castrated free boys and sold them. But Nicolaus the Peripatetic, and Posidonius the Stoic, in their Histories, both state that the Chians were enslaved by Mithridates, the tyrant of Cappadocia; and were given up by him, bound, to their own slaves, for the purpose of being 92. But the Athenians, having a prudent regard to the condition of their slaves, made a law that there should be a ??af? ??e??, even against men who ill treated their slaves. Accordingly, Hyperides, the orator, in his speech against Mnesitheus, on a charge of a???a, says, "They made these laws not only for the protection of freemen, but they enacted also, that even if any one personally ill treated a slave, there should be a power of preferring an indictment against him who had done so." And Lycurgus made a similar statement, in his first speech against Lycophron; and so did Demosthenes, in his oration against Midias. And Malacus, in his Annals of the Siphnians, relates that some slaves of the Samians colonized Ephesus, being a thousand men in number; who in the first instance revolted against their masters, and fled to the mountain which is in the island, and from thence did great injury to the Samians. But, in the sixth year after these occurrences, the Samians, by the advice of an oracle, made a treaty with the slaves, on certain agreements; and the slaves were allowed to depart uninjured from the island; and, sailing away, they occupied Ephesus, and the Ephesians are descended from these ancestors. 93. But Chrysippus says that there is a difference between a d????? and an ????t??; and he draws the distinction in the second book of his treatise on Similarity of Meaning, because he says that those who have been emancipated are still d?????, but that the term ????t?? is confined to those who are not discharged from servitude; for the ????t??, says he, is a d?????, being actually at the time the property of a master. And all the following are called d?????, as Clitarchus says, in his treatise on Dialects: ????, But Proxenus, in the second book of his treatise on the LacedÆmonian Constitution, says that female servants are called among the LacedÆmonians, Chalcides. But Ion of Chios, in his Laertes, uses the word ????t?? as synonymous with d?????, and says— Alas, O servant, go on wings and close The house lest any man should enter in. And AchÆus, in his Omphale, speaking of the Satyr, says— How rich in slaves (e?d?????) and how well housed he was (e??????); using, however, in my opinion, the words e?d????? and e?????? in a peculiar sense, as meaning rather, good to his slaves and servants, taking e?????? from ????t??. And it is generally understood that an ????t?? is a servant whose business is confined to the house, and that it is possible he may be a free-born man. 94. But the poets of the old comedy, speaking of the old-fashioned way of life, and asserting that in olden time there was no great use of slaves, speak in this way. Cratinus, in his Pluti, says— As for those men, those heroes old, Who lived in Saturn's time, When men did play at dice with loaves, And Æginetan cakes Of barley well and brownly baked Were roll'd down before men Who did in the palÆstra toil, Full of hard lumps of dough ....
And immediately after this the man who takes up the opposite side of the argument says— But argue thus: I on the other hand Shall first of all bring water for the hot baths On columns raised as through the PÆonium Down to the sea, so that the stream shall flow Direct to every private person's bath. Then he shall speak and check the flowing water. Then too an alabaster box of ointment Shall of its own accord approach the bather, And sponges suitable, and also slippers. 95. And Teleclides puts it better than the man whom I have just quoted, in his Amphictyons, where he says— 96. And in the name of Ceres, my companions, if these things went on in this way, I should like to know what need we should have of servants. But the ancients, accustoming us to provide for ourselves, instructed us by their actions while they feasted us in words. But I, in order to show you in what manner succeeding poets (since the most admirable Cratinus brandished the before-cited verses like a torch) imitated and amplified them, have quoted these plays in the order in which they were exhibited. And if I do not annoy you, (for as for the Cynics I do not care the least bit for them,) I will quote to you some sentences from the other poets, taking them also in regular order; one of which is that strictest Atticist of all, namely, Pherecrates; who in his Miners says—
97. And in his Persians he says— But what need, I pray you now, Have we of all you ploughmen, Or carters, mowers, reapers too, Or coopers, or brass-founders? What need we seed, or furrow's line? For of their own accord Rivers do flow down every road (Though half choked up with comfits) Of rich black soup, which rolls along Within its greasy flood Achilles's fat barley-cake, And streams of sauce which flow Straight down from Plutus's own springs, For all the guests to relish. As if it were a bath, And from the roof red strings of grapes Hang down, with well made cakes, Water'd the while with smoking soup, And mix'd with savoury omelets. E'en all the trees upon the hills Will put forth leaves of paunches, Kids' paunches, and young cuttle-fish, And smoking roasted thrushes. 98. And why need I quote in addition to this the passages from the TagenistÆ of the incomparable Aristophanes? And as to the passage in the Acharnenses, you are all of you full of it. And when I have just repeated the passage out of the Thurio-PersÆ of Metagenes I will say no more, and discard all notice of the Sirens of Nicophon, in which we find the following lines— Let it now snow white cakes of pulse; Let loaves arise like dew; let it rain soup; Let gravy roll down lumps of meat i' the roads, And cheese-cakes beg the wayfarer to eat them. But Metagenes says this— The river Crathis bears down unto us Huge barley-cakes, self-kneaded and self-baked. The other river, called the Sybaris, Rolls on large waves of meat and sausages, And boilÈd rays all wriggling the same way. And all these lesser streamlets flow along With roasted cuttle-fish, and crabs, and lobsters; And, on the other side, with rich black-puddings And forced-meat stuffings; on the other side Are herbs and lettuces, and fried bits of pastry. Above, fish cut in slices and self-boil'd Rush to the mouth; some fall before one's feet, And dainty cheese-cakes swim around us everywhere. And I know too that the Thurio-PersÆ and the play of Nicophon were never exhibited at all; on which account I mentioned them last. 99. Democritus now having gone through this statement distinctly and intelligently, all the guests praised him; but Cynulcus said,—O messmates, I was exceedingly hungry, and Democritus has given me no unpleasant feast; carrying me across rivers of ambrosia and nectar. And I, having my mind watered by them, have now become still more exceedingly hungry, having hitherto swallowed nothing but words; so that now it is time to desist from this interminable discussion, For in an empty stomach there's no room For love of beauteous objects, since fair Venus Is always hostile to a hungry man; as AchÆus says in Æthon, a satyric drama. And it was borrowing from him that the wise Euripides wrote— Venus abides in fulness, and avoids The hungry stomach. And Ulpian, who was always fond of contradicting him, said in reply to this,—But still, The market is of herbs and loaves too full. But you, you dog, are always hungry, and do not allow us to partake of, or I should rather say devour, good discussion in sufficient plenty: for good and wise conversation is the food of the mind. And then turning to the servant he said,—O Leucus, if you have any remnants of bread, give them to the dogs. And Cynulcus rejoined,—If I had been invited here only to listen to discussions, I should have taken care to come when the forum was full; But if we are to bathe and sup on words, Then I my share contribute as a listener; as Menander says; on which account I give you leave, you glutton, to eat your fill of this kind of food— But barley dearer is to hungry men Than gold or Libyan ivory; as AchÆus the Eretrian says in his Cycnus. 100. And when Cynulcus had said this, he was on the point of rising up to depart; but turning round and seeing a quantity of fish, and a large provision of all sorts of other eatables being brought in, beating the pillow with his hand, he shouted out,— Gird thyself up, O poverty, and bear A little longer with these foolish babblers, For copious food and hunger sharp subdues thee. There are none of the rich men In the least like you, by Vulcan, Who enjoy a dainty table, And who every day can eat All delicacies that you wish. For now, I see a thing beyond belief— A prodigy; all sorts of kinds of fish Sporting around this cape—tenches and char, White and red mullet, rays, and perch, and eels, Tunnies, and blacktails, and cuttle-fish, and pipe-fish, And hake, and cod, and lobsters, crabs and scorpions; as Heniochus says in his Busybody; I must, therefore, as the comic poet Metagenes says— Without a sign his knife the hungry draws, And asks no omen but his supper's cause— endure and listen to what more you have all got to say. 101. And when he was silent, Masyrius said,—But since some things have still been left unsaid in our discussion on servants, I will myself also contribute some "melody on love" to the wise and much loved Democritus. Philippus of Theangela, in his treatise on the Carians and Leleges, having made mention of the Helots of the LacedÆmonians and of the Thessalian PenestÆ, says, "The Carians also, both in former times, and down to the present day, use the Leleges as slaves." But Phylarchus, in the sixth book of his History, says that the Byzantians used the Bithynians in the same manner, just as the LacedÆmonians do the Helots. But respecting those who among the LacedÆmonians are called Epeunacti, and they also are slaves, Theopompus gives a very clear account in the thirty-second book of his History, speaking as follows:—"When many of the LacedÆmonians had been slain in the war against the Messenians, those who were left being afraid lest their enemies should become aware of their desolate condition, put some of the Helots into the beds of those who were dead; and afterwards they made those men citizens, and called them Epeunacti, because they had been put into the beds 102. But the class called Mothaces among the LacedÆmonians are freemen, but still not citizens of LacedÆmon. And Phylarchus speaks of them thus, in the twenty-fifth book of his History—"But the Mothaces are foster-brothers of LacedÆmonian citizens. For each of the sons of the citizens has one or two, or even more foster-brothers, according as their circumstances admit. The Mothaces are freemen then, but still not LacedÆmonian citizens; but they share all the education which is given to the free citizens; and they say that Lysander, who defeated the Athenians in the naval battle, was one of that class, having been made a citizen on account of his preeminent valour." And Myron of Priene, in the second book of his history of the Affairs of Messene, says, "The LacedÆmonians often emancipated their slaves, and some of them when emancipated they called AphetÆ, 103. But TimÆus of Tauromenium, forgetting himself, (and Polybius the Megalopolitan attacks him for the assertion, 104. After all these statements, Laurentius rose up and said,—But each of the Romans (and this is a fact with which you are well acquainted, my friend Masyrius) had a great many slaves. For many of them had ten thousand or twenty thousand, or even a greater number, not for the purposes of income, as the rich Nicias had among the Greeks; but the greater part of the Romans when they go forth have a large retinue of slaves accompanying them. And out of the myriads of Attic slaves, the greater part worked in the mines, being kept in chains: at all events Posidonius, whom you are often quoting, the philosopher I mean, says that once 105. But the ancient Romans were prudent citizens, and eminent for all kinds of good qualities. Accordingly Scipio, surnamed Africanus, being sent out by the Senate to arrange all the kingdoms of the world, in order that they might be put into the hands of those to whom they properly belonged, took with him only five slaves, as we are informed by Polybius and Posidonius. And when one of them died on the journey, he sent to his agents at home to bring him another instead of him, and to send him to him. And Julius CÆsar, the first man who ever crossed over to the British isles with a thousand vessels, had with him only three servants altogether, as Cotta, who at that time acted as his lieutenant-general, relates in his treatise on the History and Constitution of the Romans, which is written in our national language. But Smindyrides the Sybarite was a very different sort of man, my Greek friends, who, when he went forth to marry Agaroste, the daughter of Cleisthenes, carried his luxury and ostentation to such a height, that he took with him a thousand slaves, fishermen, bird-catchers, and cooks. But this man, wishing to display how magnificently he was used to live, according to the account given to us by ChamÆleon of Pontus, in his book on Pleasure, (but the same book is also attributed to Theophrastus,) said that for twenty years he had never seen the sun rise or set; and this he considered a great and marvellous proof of his wealth and happiness. For he, as it seems, used 106. What then are we to think? Had not Scipio and CÆsar any slaves? To be sure they had, but they abided by the laws of their country, and lived with moderation, preserving the habits sanctioned by the constitution. For it is the conduct of prudent men to abide by those ancient institutions under which they and their ancestors have lived, and made war upon and subdued the rest of the world; and yet, at the same time, if there were any useful or honourable institutions among the people whom they have subdued, those they take for their imitation at the same time that they take the prisoners. And this was the conduct of the Romans in olden time; for they, maintaining their national customs, at the same time introduced from the nations whom they had subdued every relic of desirable practices which they found, leaving what was useless to them, so that they should never be able to regain what they had lost. Accordingly they learnt from the Greeks the use of all machines and engines for conducting sieges; and with those engines they subdued the very people of whom they had learnt them. And when the Phoenicians had made many discoveries in nautical science, the Romans availed themselves of these very discoveries to subdue them. And from the Tyrrhenians they derived the practice of the entire army advancing to battle in close phalanx; and from the Samnites they learnt the use of the shield, and from the Iberians the use of the javelin. And learning different things from different people, they improved upon them: and imitating in everything the constitution of the LacedÆmonians, they preserved it better than the LacedÆmonians themselves; but now, having selected whatever was useful from the practices of their enemies, they have at the same time turned aside to imitate them in what is vicious and mischievous. 107. For, as Posidonius tells us, their national mode of life was originally temperate and simple, and they used everything which they possessed in an unpretending and unostentatious 108. Now Mucius ScÆvola was one of the three men in Rome who were particular in their observance of the Fannian law; Quintus Ælius Tubero and Rutilius Rufus being the other two, the latter of whom is the man who wrote the History of his country. Which law enjoined men not to entertain more than three people besides those in the house; but on market-days a man might entertain five. And these market-days happened three times in the month. The law also forbade any one to spend in provisions more than two drachmÆ and a half. And they were allowed to spend fifteen talents a-year on cured meat and whatever vegetables the earth produces, and on boiled pulse. But as this allowance was insufficient, men gradually (because those who transgressed the law and spent money lavishly raised the price of whatever was to be bought) advanced to a more liberal style of living without violating the law. For Tubero used to buy birds at a drachma a-piece from the men who lived on his own farms. And Rutilius used to buy fish from his own slaves who worked as fishermen for three obols for a pound of fish; 109. But of the extravagance which prevails at the present time Lucullus was the first originator, he who subdued Mithridates, as Nicolaus the Peripatetic relates. For he, coming to Rome after the defeat of Mithridates, and also after that of Tigranes, the king of Armenia, and having triumphed, and having given in an account of his exploits in war, proceeded to an extravagant way of living from his former simplicity, and was the first teacher of luxury to the Romans, having amassed the wealth of the two before-mentioned kings. But the famous Cato, as Polybius tells us in the thirty-fourth book of his History, was very indignant, and cried out, that some men had introduced foreign luxury into Rome, having bought an earthen jar of pickled fish from Pontus for three hundred drachmÆ, and some beautiful boys at a higher price than a man might buy a field. "But in former times the inhabitants of Italy were so easily contented, that even now," says Posidonius, "those who are in very easy circumstances are used to accustom their sons to drink as much water as possible, and to eat whatever they can get. And very often," says he, "the father or mother asks their son whether he chooses to have pears or nuts for his supper; and then he, eating some of these things, is contented and goes to bed." But now, as Theopompus tells us in the first book of his history of the Actions of Philip, there is no one of those who are even tolerably well off who does not provide a most sumptuous table, and who has not cooks and a great many more attendants, and who does not spend more on his daily living than formerly men used to spend on their festivals and sacrifices. And since now this present discussion has gone far enough, let us end this book at this point. FOOTNOTES: |