"Selling a Wife.

"The following memorandum (says the Stockport Advertiser), drawn upon a 1s. 6d. stamp, will best explain the nature of a bargain between two fellows at a beer shop, in the Hillgate, in this town. Milward is a butcher, and was last week fined before our magistrates for using uneven balances in his trading transactions. The other persons are unknown to us:—

"'I, Booth Milward, bought of William Clayton, his wife, for five shillings, to be delivered on the 25th of March, 1831, to be delivered in a alter at Mr. John Lomases house.

"'William Clayton.
"'Witnesses: Joseph Gordon, G. Wood, George Whalley.'"

"Buying and Selling Wives.

"In an evening paper we find the following story: 'A most disgusting and disgraceful scene happened in Smithfield Market on Monday last, which at the present day is of very rare occurrence. About two o'clock in the afternoon a fellow came into the market leading his wife by a halter, and gave her to a drover, desiring him to tie her to the pens and sell her to the best bidder. The woman, who did not appear to be above twenty-five years of age, and not bad looking, suffered herself to be tied up very quietly. A crowd of persons soon gathered round, and a man of rather respectable appearance entered into a negotiation with the drover for the purchase of the wife; and, after some higgling, she was finally knocked down to him for the sum of ten shillings. The money was paid, but the drover refused to release her except on payment of two shillings as his commission for the sale which he had effected. Some confusion took place about the demand, but it was eventually paid, and she was released from the pens, opposite the Half Moon public house, and delivered to her purchaser, who appeared highly pleased with his bargain. The parties adjourned to a neighbouring public house, where the late husband spent the greater part of the money in brandy and water.'"

"Sale of a Wife by her Husband at Carlyle.

"On Saturday, the 7th instant, the inhabitants of this city witnessed the sale of a wife by her husband, Joseph Thompson, who resides in a small village about three miles from this city. He rents a farm of about forty-two or forty-four acres, and was married at Hexham in the year 1829 to his present wife. She is a spruce, lively, and buxom damsel, apparently not exceeding twenty-two years of age, and appeared to feel a pleasure at the exchange she was about to make. They had no children during their union, and that, together with some family disputes, caused them by mutual agreement to come to the resolution of finally parting. Accordingly the bellman was sent round to give public notice of the sale, which was to take place at twelve o'clock. This announcement attracted the notice of thousands. She appeared above the crowd, standing on a large oak chair, surrounded by many of her friends, with a rope or halter made of straw about her neck. She was dressed in rather a fashionable country style, and appeared to some advantage. The husband, who was also standing in an elevated position near her, proceeded to put her up for sale, and spoke nearly as follows:—

"'Gentlemen, I have to offer to your notice my wife, Mary Ann Thompson, otherwise Williamson, whom I mean to sell to the highest and fairest bidder. Gentlemen, it is her wish, as well as mine to part for ever. She has been to me only a bosom serpent. I took her for my comfort and the good of my house, but she became my tormentor, a domestic curse, a night invasion, and a daily devil. (Great laughter.) Gentlemen, I speak truth from my heart when I say, "May God deliver us from troublesome wives and frolicsome widows!" Avoid them as you would a mad dog, a roaring lion, a loaded pistol, cholera morbus, Mount Etna, or any other pestilential phenomena in nature.

"Now I have shown you the dark side of my wife, and told you her faults and her failings, I will introduce the bright and sunny side of her, and explain her qualifications and her goodness. She can read novels and milk cows; she can laugh and weep with the same ease that you can take a glass of ale when thirsty; indeed, gentlemen, she reminds me of what the poet says of women in general—

"She can make butter and scold the maid; she can sing Moore's Melodies, and plait her frills and caps; she cannot make rum, gin, or whisky, but she is a good judge of the quality from long experience in tasting them. I therefore offer her, with all her perfections and imperfections, for the sum of 50s.

"After an hour or two, she was purchased by Henry Mears, a pensioner, for the sum of 20s. and a Newfoundland dog. The happy people immediately left town together, amidst the shouts and huzzas of the multitude, in which they were joined by Thompson, who, with the greatest good humour imaginable, proceeded to put the halter which his wife had taken off round the neck of his Newfoundland dog, and then proceeded to the first public-house, where he spent the remainder of the day."

"Sale of a Wife.

"Monday night a party of doughty neighbours met in a house in New Sneddon to enjoy a tankard or two of reaming swats, and to decide by which of the rival 'best possible instructors' they were, henceforth, to be enlightened. In the course of the discussion, one of them announced his intention of setting up a dram shop, and stated that there was only one article wanting. 'What was that?' 'A wife!' 'A wife!' exclaimed the host—whose name is as the name of the upper part of the garment in which the humble daughters of St. Mirren delight to conceal their beauties—'I will sell you mine for twenty pounds Scots.' Some higgling took place, in the course of which the virtues of the wife shone out with such conspicuous lustre that her price was raised to twenty pounds sterling. This sum the purchaser agreed to pay, a contract was drawn out, and signed by three witnesses, the conditions of sale being that the money was to be tabled, and the transfer completed by next day, at noon.

"Next day came, and found the seller, the purchaser, and their witnesses once more assembled, discussing at once the terms of agreement and a can of grog. Some of the witnesses seemed to think that the joke was carried far enough, and proposed that the whole proceedings should be nullified on the host forfeiting £1, to be 'melted,' in the house; but the host was too well up to trap to be wheedled out of his £20, and saddled with his wife to boot; he therefore persisted in the fulfilment of the contract, and, as the purchaser was equally averse to a rue bargain, arrangements were put in operation to complete the transaction.

"Meanwhile, the wife, whose good qualities may be judged of by the great rise which took place in her price, while the terms were under discussion, got a hint of the negotiations that were pending, and, being a good deal nettled that her opinion should not have been asked in an affair in which she was so nearly concerned, sallied out to a neighbouring court, known by the name of 'Little Ireland,' and sounded the tocsin of alarm. A much smaller matter than the sale of a wife was enough to agitate 'Little Ireland.' With ire akin to that which animated the bosom of 'Cutty Sark' and her compeers, as they sallied out of Alloway Kirk to avenge themselves on Tam o'Shanter and his mare Meg, sallied out the daughters of Little Ireland to avenge the insult thus offered to one of the best half of creation. Every damsel who could wag a tongue—mercy on us, how numerous a class!—every one who could wield a poker, fender, or pair of tongs, flew to arms, and resolved on a simultaneous attack; while the high contracting parties, and their assistant negotiators were within, discussing terms, wholly ignorant of the storm that was brewing around them. How the victory would have gone it is no way difficult to predict; but before active hostilities commenced, the police arrived, and conveyed the negotiators to the office, where they were detained until the vast crowds which had collected had dispersed, and until security had been given that appearance would be made next day. There the whole party were brought before the magistrates, and looked exceedingly foolish on the occasion. No such an affair as the sale of a wife seems ever to have been heard of in these northern latitudes, and, as the fiscal knew from the parricide case of old, that to prescribe a punishment for a crime was a powerful means to get the crime introduced, he resolved not to be privy to such a doing, and, therefore, restricted his charge to a breach of the peace. The magistrate did not find that a breach of the peace could be brought home to the parties; and, after animadverting in severe terms on the disgraceful nature of such proceedings, and addressing the salesman and purchaser in terms which, we dare say, they will not soon forget, he dismissed them from the bar. The purchaser, who is verging on three score years and ten, seemed to have come into court predetermined to appeal, and declared that a bargain was a bargain; but, with the whisky still buzzing in his head, he appealed at a wrong time, and tabled his shilling before the sentence of dismissal was pronounced."

"Sale of a Wife.

"Yesterday morning, between ten and eleven o'clock, one of those disgraceful scenes, the sale of a wife, took place at the New Islington Cattle Market. It appears that at about nine o'clock a man about forty-two years of age, of shabby genteel exterior, led a well-looking young woman, about thirty years of age, with a halter round her waist, to Smithfield Market; and, having tied her up, was about to offer her to the highest bidder; but, several persons interfering, it was agreed to go forthwith to Islington Market to accomplish their object; and, in order to expedite the matter, they jumped into a hackney coach, and were driven off at full speed, to the spot where the marriage knot was to be dissolved. They were followed from Smithfield by a young man of plausible appearance, who on seeing the wife tied up at Islington Market for sale, bid 5s. for her, but he was outbid by several persons, but, subsequently, became purchaser of the lot for 26s., and conveyed her home in a coach to his lodgings. The other man walked home, whistling merrily, declaring he had got rid of a troublesome, noisy woman, and that it was the happiest day of his life. Surely the police ought to have interfered to prevent such a disgusting outrage upon Society."

"31A, Park Street, Grosvenor Square,
"Tuesday, May 5.

"Sir,

"As you have established yourself as the champion of your father, I have the honour to request your notice to a very scurrilous attack which your father has made upon my conduct and character.

"Had Mr. O'Connell, according to the practice observed among gentlemen, appealed to me respecting the accuracy of the reported expressions, before he indulged in offensive comments upon them, he would, if he can be influenced by a sense of justice, have felt that such comments were unnecessary. He has not thought fit to do so, and he leaves me no alternative but to request that you, his son, will resume your vicarious duties of yielding satisfaction for the insults which your father has too long lavished with impunity upon his political opponents.

"I have the honour to be, Sir, your obedient servant,
"D'Israeli.

"Morgan O'Connell, Esq., M.P."

"9, Clarges Street, Tuesday, May 5.

"Sir,

"I have this day received a letter from you, stating that a scurrilous attack has been made upon you by my father, without giving me any information as to the expressions complained of, or when or where they were used, and which I now hear of for the first time.

"I deny your right to call upon me in the present instance, and I am not answerable for what my father may say. I called on Lord Alvanley for satisfaction, because I conceived he had purposely insulted my father, by calling a meeting at Brookes's for the purpose of expelling him from the club, he being at the time absent in Ireland.

"When I deny your right to call upon me in the present instance, I also beg leave, most unequivocably, to deny your right to address an insulting letter to me, who am almost personally unknown to you, and unconscious of ever having given you the slightest offence. I must, therefore, request that you will withdraw the letter, as, without that, it will be impossible for me to enter into an explanation.

"I have the honour, etc.,
"M. O'Connell.

"B. D'Israeli, Esq."

"I expect to be a representative of the people before the Repeal of the Union. We shall meet at Philippi, and rest assured that, confident in a good cause, and in some energies which have been not altogether improved, I will seize the first opportunity of inflicting upon you a castigation which will make you at the same time remember and repent the insults that you have lavished upon

"Benjamin D'Israeli."

"O'Connell would be irresistible were it not for the blots on his character—the contribution in Ireland for his support, and his refusal to give satisfaction to the man he is still coward enough to attack. They may say what they will of duelling; it is the great preserver of the decencies of society. The old school, which made a man responsible for his words, was the better. Then, in O'Connell's case, he had not made his vow against duelling when Peel challenged him. He accepted the challenge, and Peel went to Dover, on his way to France, where they were to meet; O'Connell pleaded his wife's illness, and delayed till the law interfered. Some other Irish patriot, about the same time, refused a challenge on account of the illness of his daughter, and a Dublin wit made a good epigram on the two—

"Distressing Duel.

"Yesterday morning, between three and four o'clock, a meeting took place in a field near St. John's Wood between the Hon. Henry D—— and Mr. Robert ——. The parties are nearly related to each other, and the misunderstanding arose in consequence of an elopement of a distressing nature. The parties had taken their stations and were upon the point of firing, when a cabriolet dashed up the adjacent lane at a tremendous speed, and a lady, in a wild and hurried manner, rushed up the field towards the party, but ere she could succeed in reaching them the word 'Fire!' was given, and one of the combatants, Mr. Henry D——, fell. The lady, who proved to be the Hon. Mrs. D——, perceiving this, uttered the most heartrending shrieks, and, rushing to the spot, accused herself of being the murderer of her husband. The gentlemen present had the greatest difficulty in forcing her from the spot. A surgeon in attendance at first pronounced the hon. gentleman's wound to be fatal; but, subsequently, a consultation of medical men having been held at the hon. gentleman's residence, some slight hopes are entertained of his recovery. It is said that the unfortunate cause of the catastrophe has been in a state of delirium since the event, and has twice made an attempt to lay violent hands on herself."