The original spelling, hyphenation, and capitalization have been retained. However, long s’s have been transcribed as modern s’s, and minor punctuation corrections have been made on pages 36, 37, and 39. |
THE TRUE LIFE OF Betty IRELAND. [Price a British Sixpence.] THE TRUE LIFE OF Betty IRELAND. WITH Her Birth, Education, and Together with Some Account of her elder Sister BLANCH Containing, Sundry very curious Particulars. LONDON, Printed: DUBLIN, Reprinted for Peter Wilson, in Dame-street. THE TRUE LIFE OF Betty IRELAND. It is agreed on all Hands, that Betty Ireland was a younger Daughter by a second Venter; let, at first, to run wild in the Woods, cloathed with Skins and fed with Acorns; till a famous Hunter took her in his Toils, and, liking her Countenance, gave her to a Son of his, a Lad, to bring up. The Girl In this Condition the young Sportsman found her, was fond of her at first, and resolved to marry her; and happy had it been both for him and her, if he had kept his Resolution, and performed the Contract. But he hankered after his elder Brother’s Estate, and, on his Death, suddenly got the Tenants to attorn to him, and basely dispossessed his Nephew. But instead of an Estate, he got nothing but a Law-suit, lived in Broils, and dyed a Beggar. Whereas had he quitted all Pretensions at home, married Betty and minded her Concerns, he had soon been in a Condition not to envy his Brother; and, perhaps, had left a second Family This was the only Chance ever Betty had to make a separate Fortune, set up for herself, and be independent of her Sister. She was ever after beholden to her for maintaining her Rights, settling her Affairs, and bringing her Tenants to Reason. Neither Betty or her Sister were yet of Age, but the Younger far from it, and continued under such Guardians, as the Elder recommended, and had chosen for herself. It was natural to think they should chiefly be employed in ordering the Affairs of Blanch, and be less attentive to benefit the other. Accordingly, from time to time, they sent Proxies, to let Leases, keep her Courts, and force Possession, where the Tenants held over. Little, however, was done for Betty, though they put her Sister to great Charges; nor did she thrive in the World to any Purpose, ’till she came under the Care of a good orderly Gentlewoman, who was also Guardian to Blanch, a notable When she first looked into Betty’s Affairs, she found them in a manner desperate; her small Revenues had been embezzled by Agents, Farms set to insolvent Tenants, double Leases made out, huge Fines taken in Hand and sunk in their own Pockets. She was preyed upon by Vagabonds and Outlaws; and, to compleat her Misfortunes, a Foreign Count fell in love with her, an odious Monster and braggadocio Huffer. He swore bitterly no one else should have her, and to support his Claim, brought in his Pocket, a pretended Licence from the Spiritual Court, and a Pack of outlandish Goths along with him, to take Possession of her Freehold, and break down her Gates. But her Sister generously came in to her Assistance, repelled Force by Force, and rescued her from a Tyrant Ravisher, built Houses for herself, and Fences for the She was then, it might be thought, in a Way of making herself respected, both by her own and her Sister’s Tenants, and not stand in need of any more Supplies from them; and if the good Woman, her guardian, had lived to bring Matters to any Kind of Establishment, Things had been better. But she unfortunately died, more, however, to her Sister’s Disadvantage than hers; for the Guardian had chalked out a Track of Proceeding for Betty, which she could hardly miss to follow. The Elder, however, was inconsolable for the Loss of her Guardian, and resolved, for the future, to manage her Concerns by the Assistance of a Steward, a Sort of a Cousin to her Guardian deceased, but no way allied to her, in Worth or Understanding. He minded nothing but Hunting and Puppet-shews, Feasts and Revels; and though the uncomeliest of an ill-favoured Race, spent his Lady’s Money in adorning his own Person, instead His Son succeeded to the Place; he was a grave-looking, orderly young Man, main religious, and skilled in the Customs of the Manor. Both the Sisters had great Hopes their Affairs would thrive under his Management. Betty’s, indeed, went on well for a while; but, in the End, both of them had Cause to complain, and curse the Day they had bethought them of employing a Steward in their Concerns. He was not so great a Fool as his Father; yet nothing he put his Hand to succeeded. He was bubbled by every Neighbour he dealt with, and choused by every Tenant he trusted. His Word could never be relied on, as he had always some quibble to evade it. His Wife made him hated by the Tenants; and for a finishing Stroke to his undoing, and compleat the Ruin of his Wards, he pretended the Steward had a Right to hold Courts without Juries, and by his own The Office of a Steward was now abolished for a Time, and the elder Sister resolved to take her Affairs entirely into her own Hands, and have neither Steward or Guardian for the future. The Condition, indeed, of both was deplorable. There had been nothing during the late Quarrel, but Riot and Plunder, Rents unpaid, and Soldiers quartered at Discretion; so that, in order to retrieve their Affairs, it seemed necessary to put things on a new Footing, and trust none but themselves to manage them. But whatever they intended mattered but little. Among the Soldiers quartered on them was a bustling Knave, who from a Corporal had come to be a Captain. He was bold as a Lion, He seemed, indeed, to mend Matters in the Beginning, but, in reality, did unrepairable Damage to Blanch, though considerable Services to Betty. The Neighbours all around thought they were thriving apace, and began to envy their Greatness. The Reason of which was, that he always took care to have the Girls well dressed, especially when they went a visiting, and sent Word before-hand (for he was d——d proud) that all the World should Cap to them as they passed along. He stinted them in every thing else, but spent all he could rap and run to make them fine. Betty was bashful, and kept pretty much at home; but when Blanch went abroad, she made a flaming Appearance, held up her Head among the Highest, and insulted But all the while Things were but uncomfortable at home, though she made such a tearing Figure when abroad. Nothing to be had for Farms, by reason the Soldiers put in and out as they pleased. No Leets or Manor Courts were minded. No taxing for Repairs and Bounds, but the Soldiers taxed for Contingencies as much Money as they could hear any one had. So that the Tenants found themselves in a worse Pickle than ever they had been under the Management of a Steward. They longed for Courts and Inquests, and to have every thing set on the old Bottom again. They heard of a poor Boy, a Son of the late Steward’s, who had run away from the Lands the Time his Father was hanged, and was now grown up to Years of Discretion. As he had bit a good while on the Bridle, they thought he might be tamed, more careful than his Father, and do them more Justice and Kindness. They brought him home in a Hurry; and, as it’s natural It must be owned, he was a pleasant, good-humoured Fellow as ever broke Bread, civilly behaved, and by no means wanted Capacity for the Business. But he was idle to a Degree, followed W——ng and Horse-racing; and provided he could borrow Money enough from the Tenants, or get Presents from the Neighbours, to treat his Wenches and buy them Top-knots, never heeded how Accounts were settled, how he held the Courts, or how he paid the Servants. Farm-houses went to decay, and Strangers forestalled the Markets. Few People, however, could find in their Heart to hate him. They had a Love for him, though he was daily undoing them: For it was always their Humour to like a boon Companion; and instead of crossing his Prodigality, they followed his Example, wh——ed it away from the highest to the lowest, revelled and caroused for dear Blood, and were never better pleased than when the last Penny But though the elder Sister was well-nigh undone by him, he did a good Turn by Betty, and sent one of his Cousins to take care of her Concerns, who had a good Farm of his own under her, and was well-beloved over the whole Estate. He kept Leet and Court-Baron, presented Vagabonds at the Sessions, and gave Rewards for apprehending Out-laws. He set the Tenants to Work, lived constantly among them, and looked himself into every thing. Betty began to thrive, and was less expensive to her Sister, who had wasted huge Sums to keep her Head above Water. She stuck to Business, and prospered mainly, ’till the Steward’s Brother got himself into the Place, who played H——ll with every thing, and brought the two Sisters to the Brink of Ruin. He was rash, senseless, obstinate, and ill-minded; Both the Sisters took an Oath never more to have a Steward again, and to abolish the very Name from among them, with a reserve to his Daughters, who had married abroad, and were Here it was that both the Sisters had their Affairs put on a sure and lasting Footing. The Rights of the Tenants were narrowly examined, and all pretended Powers of the Steward abolished by a Rule on the Court Manor Books. There was, indeed, some Difficulty in bringing it about, and a power of Money laid out on the Occasion. But it was well bestowed had it been twice as much. There was a Stripling among the neighbouring Fens, who had married a Daughter of the Steward’s, and had got the best Estate there by the Diligence of his Ancestors, who were the principal Engineers in draining and banking the Country. They had often borrowed Money from Blanch to carry on the Work, to stem the Water when the Fen-men were in despair, and prevailed on her to send a strong Posse of her Tenants to keep off some malicious Neighbours, who would ever and anon be boring Holes in the Dikes, and endangered the Overflowing When he understood that Blanch and her Sister were so hampered and Tyrannically treated by the Steward, he came to their Assistance, supplied And yet Blanch could never rightly like the Fen-man, as she called him, though he had done so much for her. She could not comport herself with his Manners and his Humour, hated the Servants he brought with him, complained they were too costly to her, though she kept them sparingly, and even quarrelled (so exceptious are Women) to the Cut of their But Betty Ireland had more Gratitude than her Sister, adored him while he stayed with her, and to this Day remembers him as her great Deliverer, the Protector of her Life, and the Founder of her Fortune. She, indeed, had double Obligations, as her Condition was more helpless than her Sister’s, and she had more severely felt the Tyranny of the Steward, who, because she could not so readily complain of him, had first stripped her of all she had, and then sold her to Bondage. But both Sisters ought surely to reflect, that all the Happiness, and all the Security they have since enjoyed, has been owing to the Friendships he procured them, when he put them under the Protection of his Cousins; and that he has effectually banished the Stewards thereby, who would doubtless otherwise be meddling with their Affairs, and use them worse than ever they did before, as coming in without Leave, they would But maugre all these Considerations, Blanch was glad when he left her, and ready to leap out of her Skin for joy. She thought of nothing but Diversions, spent her Time and Money in visiting and dressing, ransacked the Globe to set off her Person, and, it must be owned, she never looked handsomer in her Life. Wherever she went, she was adored as an Angel, surrounded by admiring Throngs, and Thousands hanging on her Look. But all this was empty Pageantry and too expensive Glory. She ran herself in Debt to uphold this Appearance, mortgaged her Estate, and bartered her Stock, for the vain Applause of flattering Knaves, and scoundrel Tradesmen. It was Time to pull in, and keep a Hank in the Hand. She saw her Folly, and doffed her Gear. It was better go plain than run in Debt for Finery; and enough she had to do to pay the Debts she had contracted in her Fit of Vanity. Betty all the while was minding Business But when they found they had nothing to The Blacks, indeed, immediately made a Riot on this new Settlement, but could not get Possession; and, lately, a young Jackanapes pretended a Right to be Steward to both Sisters, by Virtue of a Patent he had got from the last Steward, as if he had a Right to dispose of a Place he had been turned out of himself. He came on the Lands, however, with a bloody-minded Crew of skirtless Vagabonds, drove off the Cattle, robbed the Hen-roosts, and swaggered at so unmerciful a Rate, that Blanch was frightened out of her Senses, and was fain to send for a Dram of Gin to restore her Spirits. But if she was frightened, her Guardian was not, and had a Month’s Mind to find out the Varlet in Person, and tread him under his Feet. But as he could not leave the Hall-house where the For a good while before this Alarm happened (which proved nothing but a Bugbear) both the Sisters had a fair Opportunity of minding their Concerns, and getting above the World. Blanch might have paid her Debts, and had Money to the fore; but it was ever her Misfortune to be ill-served by almost all she employed. Never, sure, had Lady so unhandy a Pack about her, and, indeed, it was impossible it could well be otherwise; for she did not chuse her Servants because they were fit for this, or that Office, but because they asked, and would have it, or be horribly out of Humour else, would make a ’Tis true, she would often change her Servants, but not a Barrel the better Herring. If she got one, by chance, knew any thing of his Business, the rest never left boddering her ’till they had him out. It should never be said they demeaned themselves so much as to serve with one, who would spoil every thing by his Rashness, and disgrace the Service by his Ignorance. Betty, in the mean time, is come to an opulent Fortune, has her Rents well paid, and her Farms daily improving, and would improve ten times more, if her Sister could see her own Advantage so far, as to give her that Encouragement she is daily giving to Strangers, who give her nothing in Return but their Envy and Ill-will. But as it is, Betty’s in a good Way, and makes the most of a bad Market. And since she must not work for her Sister, she works for herself. It had been a Custom of hers to buy every thing she wanted from her Sister’s Tenants and Tradesmen, though they used her abominably, and put off upon her the worst Goods they had. Betty could not help this contemptuous Treatment, as she had nothing she wanted at Home, by reason of her Laziness, though all Materials in abundance were at hand. ’Tis incredible to relate, but, at the Time I am speaking of, certain Fact, on her whole Estate there was not one to be found could make a Buckle for her Shoe, or a Pin to her Sleeve; a Pot, a Spit, or any Utensil to cook her Victuals, might as well be found among the Tartars as with her. She took every thing from her Sister at what Price she pleased, unsight unseen, and bought the Pig in the Poke. Necessity roused her from Stupidity and Sloth, she encouraged her Tenants to apply to Trades, assured them of a ready Market, and rewarded If all this Complaisance should fail of its Effect, and not so succeed as to keep Blanch in good Humour, ’tis easy to say where the Fault must lie, and from what Causes her Discontents arise. In the first Place, it has ever been the Fate of her Domesticks to be invincibly hated by her Tenants without Difference or Distinction, (for, to say Truth, they have no Head for Distingo’s:) There is but one Thing in the World they hate more, and that is Betty Ireland. Now, the Servants bear hard on Betty, to curry Favour with her Sister’s Tenants, who would go half Way to the D——l to have Betty d——d, are for ever cursing her, and laying all their Misfortunes at her Door. If the Clothier loses his Business, or has his Another Cause of Blanch’s Dislike to her Sister was, a Fright she took, when she was just delivered, at some ill-looking People, who came from Betty’s Lands, and appeared under her Window. There’s no doubt but Blanch has as much Courage as any genteel Lady ought to have, and must have been in a Fit of low Spirits when she, and all her Tenants from her, took so senseless an alarm, as to run distracted thro’ Fear of half a Dozen Fellows cutting all their Throats in one Night, who were ready to run through Fire and Water for Fear of being hang’d themselves; yet certain it is, from this ridiculous Incident, and from nothing else, can be derived, that universal Hatred shewn her by Blanch’s Tenants, though they have never seen, spoken with, or had any Dealings whatever, either with Betty or her Tenants. People must be generous, as well as brave, to forgive those that frighten them. There’s another Cause of Dislike among The last I shall mention (and, to be sure, a wise Cause of Dislike it is) Betty goes once, at least, every Year to pay her Sister a Visit, carries all her Money, puts on her best Cloaths, lives high as long as she has a Penny left. This vexes her Sister, and many a Slut and Flirt she calls Betty, at the very time she is throwing away her It is wished, but probably in vain, that the two Sisters would come to a better Understanding. They that have considered the true Interest of both, see plainly that the elder, and consequently the younger, must be shortly undone, if these Bickerings and ill Offices continue. So unnatural a Quarrel between near Relations must make them despised by all the Neighbours around, who are hourly taking the Advantage of it, and profiting themselves by the Hindrance the Sisters give to each other. But their Manners and Disposition are so different, that it’s next to impossible they should ever love one another; tho’, for mutual Interest, and to make that Figure in the Eye of the World which two Ladies of their Distinction and Fortune ought to assume, their Friends may agree to promote jointly their Interests, and never heed how peevish and untoward either of them may be, or pay any Regard to the Tho’ in this History I have rather copied the chaste Brevity of Cornelius Nepos, than the diffused and chatty Eloquence of Plutarch; I shall conclude, in Imitation of the latter, with a Description of the two Ladies, their Persons, Manners, and Inclinations; and, in drawing the Parallel, with Freedom represent, their Vices as well as Vertues, their Faults as well as their Perfections. Blanch is by much the taller, neat, timbersome, and well made, a lively Look and a sprightly Air. 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