Writing Letters of Invitation, and answering letters of invitation, often occupy far longer time in the composition than the writers would care to confess. The difficulty does not lie in an invitation itself or in accepting or refusing it, but rather in the form in which either should be couched, the words that should be chosen, and the expressions that should be used; one person is afraid of being too empressÉ, another of being too formal or too stiff; one is fearful of saying too little, another of saying too much. When invitations are issued on dinner cards or on "at home" cards, the note of acceptance should be as brief as is the printed card of invitation, and to the printed card requesting the pleasure of Mrs. Blank's company at dinner, the stereotyped answer is invariably Mrs. Blank has much pleasure in accepting Mrs. Dash's kind invitation for Saturday the 21st, or Mrs. Blank regrets that a previous engagement will prevent her from having the pleasure of accepting Mrs. Dash's kind invitation for Saturday, the 21st. As regards those invitations that refer to visits of some days' duration, those accustomed to give this description of entertainment, know exactly what to say and how to say it. The conventional civilities or affectionate cordialities, as the case may be, occur in their proper places; but one point is made clear in either case, namely, the length of the visit to be paid. There are people who are under the impression that to specify the exact length of a visit is in a degree inhospitable, and not sufficiently polite; and they, "A few days" is also an unsatisfactory wording of an invitation to visitors themselves; as a rule, it means three or four days, but there is also an uncertainty as to whether the fourth day should be taken or not. Those who interpret "a few days" to mean three days, make their plans for departure accordingly; failing this, they are compelled to leave their plans open, and stay from three to five days, according as chance and circumstances may dictate. A lady would perhaps require a little addition to her wardrobe in the matter of a five days' visit over that of a three days' stay; but this is a trifling detail, although it helps to swell The most satisfactory invitation is certainly the one that mentions the day of arrival and the day of departure. Thus, after the raison d'Être of the invitation has been stated, the why and the wherefore of its being given follows the gist of the letter: "We hope you will come to us on Wednesday the 23rd, and remain until the 27th." It is, of course, open to a hostess to ask her visitors to prolong their stay beyond the date named if she sees reason for so doing; but this is the exception rather than the rule in the case of short visits, and guests take their departure as a matter of course on the day named in the invitation. Hostess and guests are perfectly at ease upon the subject, and guests do not feel on delicate ground with their hostess, or fear to outstay their welcome. When a visit has been paid it is polite, if not imperative, to write to the hostess and express the pleasure that has been derived from it. Oftener than not some little matter arises which necessitates a note being written apart from this; but whether or not, good feeling and good taste would dictate that some such note should be written, and, as it can always include little matters of general interest in connection with the past visit, it need neither be over ceremonious nor coldly polite. But the fashion of to-day is to style a crowded ball-room a "bear-garden," and to confine the invitations, with but very few exceptions, to those who are strictly on the visiting list of the ball-giver; and pretty girls may sigh in vain for an invitation to a ball given even by a relative or acquaintance of their own, if not on their visiting list. Still, invitations are constantly asked for by people for their friends, and sometimes they are given and sometimes they are refused, as the case may be, but much depends upon the position of the one who solicits the favour. If the giver of an entertainment wishes to oblige the petitioner, she will stretch a point to do so; if not, she will write a polite note of excuse, giving one of the reasons before mentioned. It is thoroughly understood people do not ask for invitations for themselves, whatever they may do for their friends, and that they would not do so unless they were themselves invited. Living at a distance modifies, however, this latter rule; and friends in the country often ask for invitations for friends in town, and vice versÂ. Dinner invitations are, as a matter of course, never asked for; but invitations to garden-parties, afternoon "at homes," and afternoon teas, are frequently asked for and readily given. Some are intimate enough at the house where they visit to take a relative or friend with them to those afternoon gatherings without observing the punctiliousness of asking for an invitation; others, on less intimate terms, do not venture upon doing so. In all cases when an invitation is asked for, a hostess should never neglect to send a reply, and should not take for granted that her friends will naturally understand that silence gives consent, for under the circumstances it is very possible to interpret it to signify a refusal. |