The Art of receiving Guests is a very subtle one, difficult to acquire; but when acquired and thoroughly mastered it confers upon a mistress of a house an enviable reputation—that of being a perfect hostess.

With some this is in-bred, and grace and composure and all the attendant attributes which are to be found in this type of hostess sit naturally upon them; but the individuals so gifted represent the few rather than the many. A far greater section of society has to rely upon experience to teach them this useful accomplishment, while with others time alone can aid them in overcoming natural reserve, and want of confidence in themselves, which stand in the way of their assuming this character with anything like success. Those ladies who are innately thoughtless and careless in this respect, neither time nor experience can mould, and what they are at the commencement of their career, they remain to the end of the chapter—very indifferent hostesses. There are varieties of hostesses, according to individual capabilities, and who are known amongst their friends by these appellations: first ranks the perfect or "charming hostess," either title suits her equally well; next to her comes the "good hostess," she is followed by the one who is "not a good hostess"; and the rear is brought up by the one who is decidedly "a bad hostess." Amongst the salient points which distinguish the perfect or charming hostess are perhaps, foremost, a certain facility of putting each individual guest at ease, conveying that the welcome she accords is a personal if not an especial one. Simultaneously with these agreeable impressions is conveyed a sense of the hostess's genial qualities; her charm of manner, her graciousness and her courteous bearing evincing so plainly that she is entirely mistress of the situation: these qualities insensibly react upon the guests, and evoke a corresponding desire to please on their part.

The perfect hostess possesses yet another advantage, viz. a readiness of speech, a faculty of saying the right thing at the right moment and to the right person, and of identifying herself, so to speak, with the susceptibilities of each of her guests.

The good hostess is essentially what is known as a considerate hostess; she makes up for the brighter qualities in which she is lacking by her extreme consideration for her guests. In the charming hostess this consideration is eclipsed by her more brilliant powers of pleasing, it permeates all she does, while in the good hostess it is her strongest point, and upon which is founded her claim to the name. The lady who bears the undesirable reputation of being "not a good hostess" is not "good" in a variety of ways; she means well and does her utmost to succeed, but by some contrariety of the laws which regulate domestic and social affairs, the results of her efforts are always the reverse of what she would have them be. The lady who is not a good hostess sometimes suffers from shyness and reserve which renders her stiff in manner when she would most desire to be cordial, silent when she would be most loquacious, and awkward when she would be at ease.

As there are many reasons why ladies prove to be good hostesses, so there are many reasons why they prove bad hostesses, selfishness and want of consideration for others contribute to these, as do procrastination and a vague idea of the value of time. Ladies with such faults and weaknesses as these produce very much the same impression upon their guests, although, perhaps, one is a little less culpable than is the other.

The selfish hostess is a bad hostess, because, providing she is amused, she is utterly indifferent as to whether her guests are amused or not, her own pleasure and gratification being of paramount importance. Instead of being in readiness to receive her guests she descends late to the drawing-room to welcome them, and is indifferent as to whether there is any one to greet them or not.

The procrastinating hostess, although she is equally in fault, yet, as she hastens to excuse herself, when lacking in politeness to, or consideration for her guests, her excuses are sometimes admitted; but the selfish hostess, if she deigns to excuse herself, does so with such a palpable show of indifference as to her guests' opinion of her actions, that the excuse is oftener than not an aggravation of the offence. A lady who has no regard for time goes to her room to dress at the moment when she should be descending to the drawing-room; or she remains out driving when she should be returning; or she puts off making some very important arrangement for the comfort or amusement of her guests until it is too late for anything but a makeshift to be thought of, if it has not to be dispensed with altogether. Everything that she does or projects is on the same scale of procrastination; her invitations, her orders and engagements, are one and all effected against time, and neither herself nor her guests gain the value or satisfaction of the hospitality put forth. The bad hostess walks into her drawing-room when many of her guests are assembled, either for a dinner-party or afternoon tea, and shakes hands in an awkward, abashed manner, almost as if she were an unexpected guest instead of the mistress of the house.

The host is not at his ease; he is provoked at having to make excuses for his wife, and the guests are equally constrained.

If the host is of a sarcastic turn of mind, he never refrains from saying something the reverse of amiable to the hostess on her entrance. "My dear," he will perhaps remark, "you are doubtless not aware that we have friends dining with us this evening." This remark renders the guests even more uncomfortable and the hostess less self-possessed, and this is often the prelude to an inharmonious evening, with a host whose brow is clouded and a hostess whose manner is abashed.

The mode of receiving guests is determined by the nature of the entertainment. A welcome accorded to some two or three hundred guests cannot be as personal a one as that offered to some ten to thirty guests.

Whatever disappointment a hostess may feel she should not allow it to appear on the surface, and should not be distrait in manner when shaking hands with her guests. At large or small gatherings disappointments follow in the course of events, and very few hostesses can say that they have not experienced this in a larger or smaller degree at each and all of their entertainments.

At a ball or evening-party a hostess should receive her guests at the head of the staircase, and should remain there until the majority, if not all, of the guests have arrived.

As the names of the guests are announced the hostess should shake hands with each, addressing some courteous observation the while, not with a view of inducing them to linger on the staircase, but rather of inviting them to enter the ball-room to make way for other guests.At a ball given at a country house the hostess should stand at the door of the ball-room and receive her guests. When the guests have duly arrived, a hostess at a country-house ball or country-house theatricals should exert herself to see that all her guests are amused. If she sees that the young ladies are not dancing she should endeavour to find them partners. In town she is not required to do this. If the chaperons have apparently no one to talk to she should introduce one of her own relatives, if she cannot give much of her own attention to them, and she should arrange that all her guests are taken in to supper.

At large afternoon "at homes" the hostess receives her guests at the open door of the drawing-room, and has little more time to bestow upon each than at a ball or an "at home." At small afternoon "at homes" she should receive them in the drawing-room, and should rise and shake hands with each arrival.

A hostess should receive her dinner guests in the drawing-room, and should shake hands with each in the order of arrival. She occasionally finds it a trying ordeal to sustain conversation between the arrival of dinner guests and the dinner being served; sometimes this is prolonged for three-quarters of an hour through the non-appearance of a guest who must be waited for. A hostess should, although she knows that her dinner is spoilt by being thus kept back, endeavour to make the time pass as pleasantly as possible, by rendering the conversation general and by making the guests acquainted with each other. The hostess who can tide over these awkward occurrences so that the postponement of dinner from half to three-quarters of an hour is hardly perceived, proves herself to be entitled to be considered a good hostess.