WHAT A DRINK IS WORTH

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CASTE

Roaring Pete Mr. Beerbohm Irving.
Tootsie Wootsie Miss Portia Bordeaux.
The Medicine Man Whiskey Wilson
(Special engagement).
Medicine Man’s Squaw Mme. Glouglou Chianti.
Cowboys, Indians, Beer.
DEAD DOG GULCH
(Film aborts.)
DEAD DOG
(Film aborts.)
DEAD DOG GULCH, MINING SETTLEMENT
(Film aborts.)
(After several scenes and incidents have passed too quickly for contemplation,)

Bar full of Cowboys. Enter

ROARING PETE,
slouching, head forward, chin projecting, a shooting iron in each hand, bowie between his teeth, swords stuck in his puttees. He is hailed with shouts and cocktails.
THE MEDICINE MAN,
an old Indian, stands on sidewalk, scratching his head with great earnestness and a piece of tile. He looks at bar; smacks his lips; points; evidently intends entering to obtain

“WHAT A DRINK IS WORTH.”
Indians, man with gun, woman with long braids
The Caste.

FIRE WATER.
He stands with hand on latch, ruminating. A picture of Home rises before him-his old Squaw sitting wistfully in wigwam, grasping old hatchet. He at once enters.
TOOTSIE WOOTSIE,
the saloon-keeper’s daughter, comes into saloon: golden hair down to waist, and riding costume. She rushes to Roaring Pete. Roaring Pete rushes to her. Enter Medicine Man, who gets embraced between them. Loud curses. Much gun-play. Exit Medicine Man. Counter, chairs, tables, bottles, hats, boots, and curses, follow him. Boot hits him in rear. He bolts with boot. He swears revenge.
Indian chief saying Wow
Young Chief’s speech
SEEING RED

Indian Encampment. Medicine Man beating drum. Galloping ponies, firing Winchesters and automatics. Ring of stern faces. Background, ring of roses. Medicine Man harangues; shows boot; shows mark where it hit him. Excited execrations. Young chief advances, obviously saying “Wow!” Desperate attention secured at this unusual beginning. He outlines his plan—a night raid to capture Paleface Squaw. Before he finishes, Indians dash for ponies and gallop into the night.

TOOTSIE WOOTSIE
discovered undressing. She removes her blouse. She removes her riding sk—
(Film aborts.)
Tootsie in her dressing-gown, about to say her guileless prayer. Hideous face at window. She screams and shoots. Face shouts with pained surprise. It is Roaring Pete. “What have I done?” Tootsie dashes to window and hurls herself out. As she leaves the sill—
(Film aborts.)
THE START

Dark figures stealing through the bushes. They appear to be searching for something. Chief stubs his toe. Mentions it. Tomahawked immediately by Medicine Man. Fierce rustle of excitement (heard in gallery) as they catch sight of Tootsie kneeling by Roaring Pete. Medicine Man says “Charge!” Tomahawks young Chief for asking “How much?”

CAPTURE OF TOOTSIE WOOTSIE

Proposal that she be allowed to dress is vetoed by unanimous tomahawk. Tootsie Wootsie struggles madly to keep her dressing-gown round her.

THEIR ONE MISTAKE

Medicine Man reaches through window and collars a Gollywog. Child screams and appears at window. Indians vamoose with Tootsie Wootsie, mount their horses, and vanish into the dawn.

Child rushes out in nightshirt to Sheriff’s house. Shakes him. Fails to wake him. Seizes brandy bottle and puts it to his lips. Sheriff wakes at once. While he is taking a pull, child explains. “Indians taken my Golly.” As Sheriff leaps out of bed—

(Film aborts.)
Cowboys mounting as they gallop off. Sheriff takes child on pommel, and dashes off into the afternoon.
THE INDIAN ENCAMPMENT

A War Dance. Tootsie Wootsie lying bound. She is placed on a pile of faggots. Young brave with torch. Medicine Man, with sacrificial knife uplifted, addresses her: “Will you marry me?” Tootsie simpers: “This is so sudden.”

Medicine Man infuriated. He executes a primordial dance. He repeats: “Will you marry me?” Tootsie Wootsie breaks her bonds, throws her arms about him, and whispers “Yes, dear.” Howls of rage. Medicine Man steps back. His squaw hits him with blunt hatchet. Another young Chief steps forward, waving captured Gollywog. Medicine Man seizes it; holds it by off hand; waves minatory knife. Tootsie Wootsie screams again, “Spare poor Golly, and I will release thee.” Medicine Man demands it in writing.

THE SAME, CONTINUED

Papyrus and stylo produced. Tootsie Wootsie is about to sign when Medicine Man crumples into heap. Cowboys appear on galloping ponies. Much gun-play. Much cursing. Wild melÉe. Child seizes gollywog. Indian seizes Tootsie Wootsie, and hurls her over cliff. She falls approximately two miles, when—

(Film aborts.)

... Roaring Pete, struggling towards dropped flask. He reaches it. It is empty. He gets up in a rage. He feels himself. “What’s the good of being wounded when the flask’s empty?”

He dashes for pony and lights out for anywhere. As he passes foot of precipice, someone falls on his head. Falls off. He rubs his head with curses and quirt, and examines the missile. It is Tootsie Wootsie. (Sensation in the front seats.)

SECOND PART FOLLOWS IMMEDIATELY
A LOVERS’ QUARREL

“Please explain how you come to be so far distant from home in your night attire.”

Tootsie Wootsie walks off the screen in a huff.

THIRD PART
OF THIS THRILLING SERIAL,
Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday,
NEXT WEEK.


                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                           

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