“First was a plan for increasing the salt water area by means of a system of broad channels or canals reaching inland from the oceans with a view of extending them from ocean to ocean as soon as practicable so as to enable the tidal currents to flow entirely through, thus insuring sea water in the very interior. It was proposed to make these narrow at first, but to widen them as the population increased and greater area became necessary for cultivation. After the main canals should have become well advanced it was designed to build branches and intersecting lines in such directions as might be deemed most advantageous.

“The Lunarians proposed to the king to have this work done by a great stock company, one-half the stock to be owned by the king and the other half by them. They were to make the surveys and direct the work and handle the funds of the corporation making use of their mechanical and executive ability and great experience in finance and engineering. The government was to pay a bonus to this company of 100 kiks[4] per acre for every acre made available for cultivation. The capital stock was fixed at 200 kiks per acre to be issued to the stockholders as fast as the work was completed, the king to receive 100 kiks as his share and the Lunarians the other 100. As fast as the canals were completed they were to be turned over to the state and become its property, and in payment for this the state was to guarantee an annual dividend or interest of five per cent on that portion of the capital stock owned by the Lunarians. The king was not well informed on financial matters and inquired the meaning of five per cent interest, and was told that it meant the payment of half a kik to the owner of every ten kiks of stock which such owner was to receive in lieu of all other profits and reward for his labor and investment and which he the king as the head of the government was to guarantee. The king was satisfied to do this—more than satisfied in fact.

“He said: “Gentlemen, I am a great King! what care I for half a kik.” Then with a prodigal wave of all his disengaged limbs he exclaimed “make it a whole kik.”

“But our Lunarians were not to be outdone in liberality by the king, and while admitting that five per cent was ridiculously small, modestly declined to take any more. The king then inquired why they did not include his stock in the proposed guaranty. “Why should not I be guaranteed as well as you?” To this they replied that they purposely left his out because, first, he was himself the government, and so he would simply be guaranteeing himself; in the second place, if his stock were not named in this guarantee he need not be confined to 5 per cent, but could as well take 10 or 20. The king having been satisfied on this point they cautiously unfolded their next proposition which was that they should have security in the shape of a mortgage for the payment of the 5 per cent interest, and that in case of default on the payment of said interest it should become a lien against the state and thence forward be entitled to draw interest the same as the original stock. “O king,” said they, “we sincerely wish you might live forever. If we were sure you would we would never think of asking security. But Martians and Lunarians all die when their time comes, while this great corporation will be immortal. Some time in the future a king may arise who, while enjoying the blessings and comforts of civilization will forget what, they were due to and will refuse to carry out Your Majesty’s contract, about paying this interest.”

“Well,” said the King, “what security do you want?”

“They said they would be contented with a mortgage covering Faithless Jack and Blind Lucy, and the two frigid zones of Mars.”

I may say here that the frigid zones of Mars cover the polar ends of the planet and extend 28°. 42´ from the poles. I understood this much, but did not know who were meant by Faithless Jack and Blind Lucy. The Professor proceeded to explain.

“Mars as you know has two funny little moons. Your Astronomers have named them Deimos and Phobos. But the Martians call them by names that are equivalent to Faithless Jack and Blind Lucy. These names belong to an ancient mythical legend, which I will relate to you. In very ancient times there were a pair of lovers named Jack and Lucy. Lucy was reputed to be the most beautiful lady that ever walked on six feet. Her six eyes were quite unique, being alternately red and yellow—three of each color. She was over eight feet high when she stood up and was noted for the grace and dignity of her manners, and the captivating way in which she walked, her feet coming down one after another in perfect time and with a rhythmic pit-a-pat pit-a-pat almost inaudible from the softness of her tread, but which was nothing less than inspired music. Her disposition was as charming as her person. She had a kind word for every one, and was always doing some one a favor.

“Jack on the other hand was exceedingly ill favored. It could not be said exactly that he was the ugliest or the most disagreeable young gentleman in the community, but a great many were his superiors in every way, and how it happened that Lucy fell in love with him could never be accounted for, but she did, to an excessive degree. To look at the Martians you might not suspect them of being very sentimental or affectionate, but they are, and their form in a manner compels them to be demonstrative. When a couple walk together they cannot lock arms or take hold of each other’s hands as you do, since their limbs are all employed in walking. But if they are friends they hold on to each others cheeks with their lips, which have a suctorial force like an air pump and which would raise a blister on a skin less tough than the integument of a Martian. When lovers walk out with each other they apply their lips together in an affectionate kiss of most uncommon adhesiveness. Jack and Lucy they say could have been seen any day walking about glued together in that manner. As this was common it was considered proper, but under the circumstances was not altogether prudent, for it roused the jealousy of Jack’s rivals to an almost murderous pitch. Jack was not so tall as Lucy by a foot, being only a little over seven feet high. This brought his mouth six inches lower than hers, and made it necessary for him to elevate himself on his toes (or fingers) as much as possible, and even then Lucy had to meet him half way by bending the limbs that happened to support her at the moment in a manner that detracted considerably from her natural grace. Some of the disappointed lovers attempted to relieve their chagrin by speaking of Jack contemptuously as “Tiptoes” and making ungallant remarks about Lucy. But this was small comfort to them, while the loving pair were so much devoted to each other as to be quite heedless of the angry and jealous comment they were causing.

“At last Jack’s rivals entered into a conspiracy to “do him up.” They would beat and tar and feather him at the very least and if he provoked them by resistance they would do worse. So they planned, and one summer evening when Jack and Lucy were taking their usual loving promenade, these disappointed suitors took after them. But the lovers stimulated by a panic of sudden terror made a miraculous race and distanced their pursuers. The latter declared that the lovers did not run at all in fact, but glided along in some miraculous way not touching the ground, but gradually rising and sailing off getting constantly higher and higher, they at last disappeared behind a cloud. And they all declared that there could not be the least doubt that they had been translated to the sky to associate with the innumerable stars that had gone before them. There was nothing at all incredible in this to the Martian people, because it was a cardinal principle of their religion that their great heroes in ancient times had all been transferred from Mars to the sky. The proof was patent to anybody that had eyes, for there they were to be seen without any change of form, some with six radiating limbs and some with five. And these two hostile races carried their resentments to heaven with them and often engaged in direful warfare, hurling at each other thunderbolts, meteors and aerolites as might be seen almost daily or nightly. The celestial history of the lovers is tragic. They no longer had to walk, because there being nothing much to walk on, the celestial mode of locomotion is a delicious glide, consequently they were able occasionally to give their lips a rest, and hand in hand to quietly slip along with the glittering crowd thinking of nothing whatever unless it were of each other. But this happiness at last came to a sad ending. They were sauntering along as thoughtless and careless as children, when suddenly and without the least warning, an immense aerolite came dashing through the sky and before Lucy even perceived it, it crashed into her face knocking out every one of her pretty eyes, smashing her lips and disfiguring her in the most terrible manner. In the confusion she was separated from her companion, and when she sought him, distracted by pain and blindness she took the wrong track, and from that day to this she skurries across the sky in the most feverish haste, rising in the west sailing overhead and setting in the east from two to three times a day, while all the other stars including the sun, and Jack with the rest, rise in the east and set in the west. As for Jack, when he found how changed and hideous she had become—his love turned to aversion. When she sought him, he avoided her, and passed by far on the other side. And now, although they pass each other every few hours he always looks the other way and she, poor thing, cannot see him. “There used to be a serious dispute among the Martians as to the particular sort of star that threw that rock. One sect of theologians stoutly maintained that it was hurled with malicious intent by a malignant five legged star, and struck the fair mark it was aimed at with terrible precision. Another sect held that it was only an accident; the missile was probably fired by a friendly six pointer, missed its mark and unfortunately struck where it was not intended to. As there was not a particle of proof for either side, affirmations and assertions took the place of argument, and were dogmatically made and maintained with no little acrimony on both sides. But they all agreed in rendering divine honors to Lucy with their sympathies and condolences: Poor Lucy! Perfidious Jack!

“When the King learned what the Lunarians wanted him to give them a mortgage on, he laughed heartily and thought it a good joke. He could hardly be made to believe they were in earnest. “As for the poles if there is anything there except snow and rocks,” said he, “whoever gets them will earn them, I warrant you.

“As for the moons, I shall never undertake to deliver them in case you foreclose on them, and your mortgage must distinctly state that you are to take them running.”

“The King thought the idea of mortgaging his moons was peculiarly comical; and after the deal was consummated and the papers all signed, he would sometimes stand on the door step and call out to Lucy as she rushed along overhead with the speed of a cannon ball, and ask her how she felt to be mortgaged. In addition to the scheme for the construction of the canals, the Lunarians asked and easily obtained a charter or concession from the king for an easement or right of way twenty miles wide, ten miles on each side of the equator, and reaching entirely around the planet, for the purpose of one or more lines of telegraph and cables for the conveyance of electrical power and for railroads etc. This region was entirely uninhabited, and not suited for the occupation of Martians, but the Lunarians said they would have use for it in the course of time and wished to have it understood so they could know what to depend on.

“All the preliminary negotiations being at last concluded, and the contracts signed, they went to work with a will. The bonus or subsidy of 100 kiks per acre was raised by taxation, those who had no money being compelled to work out their tax on the canal. The route selected for the first line was across a low swampy country. The work was light and much of it in the water where the Martians were at home. The Lunarians had flat boats constructed on which the excavated muck and earth were loaded and floated to the deep places which they partially filled up or deposited on the dry land. The canal was made 200 feet wide at first, one-half of which was kept entirely clear, while the other half was planted to the sea-weed.

“It took several years to finish the first line, and as soon as it was done they commenced the work of widening it, adding a strip 200 feet in width, which when completed made the canal 400 feet wide. This process was then repeated and has been going on constantly not only in the first canals but in all subsequent ones of which there is an immense number. As much material was carried to the banks and deposited there in the construction of each strip, a good deal had to be moved more than once. When this accumulation became too great to be profitably moved it was skipped and the next channel constructed parallel with the main canal, but separated from it by the strip of solid land on which this waste earth was piled from a few rods to a quarter of a mile in width. On these strips are located the villages of the working people that cultivate the sea weed, work on the canal and are engaged in navigation etc.

“The total width of some of these canals is now as much as sixty miles, but they generally consist in reality of numerous wide channels separated by narrow strips of land. This plan of canal making has been steadily adhered to for several thousand years. Lines parallel to each other and several hundred miles apart have been constructed, and many others connecting with these and intersecting them at various angles. These canals not only constitute the principal fields for the cultivation of their staple food, but also furnish what was for a long time their best and chief mode of transportation. Their chief commercial and manufacturing cities sprung up at the intersections of the canals.

“The building of these canals had a wonderfully stimulating effect on the development of the Martian people. The population promptly increased in proportion to the increase of the means for its support as it always does, on all planets. With the increase of population came diversity of employment, new ideas, tastes, and wants, new inventions, more culture and refinement.”

“How did the Lunarians come out on their contract?” I asked. “They must have made a lot of money I reckon.”

“I was just coming to that,” said he. “Yes they made lots of money if they could only have got it, but that was the rub. For a few years while the amount of the acreage of the canals was small, it was comparatively easy to raise and pay over the five per cent due the Lunarians, but by the time the first great canal was completed through at a width of 200 feet, their interest amounted to 375,000 kiks per annum. By this time the king had discovered a good many new uses for money, and it went very much against the grain to pay over this interest. He began to think the Lunarians were going to be rather too well paid for the services and “investment,” they had talked about; and he congratulated himself that they had not availed themselves of his effusive offer, of ten per cent instead of five. However while he grumbled, he paid; and continued to do so as long as he lived, although towards the last the interest amounted to the very handsome sum of 1,000,000 kiks per annum. But that is all, after the death of that king who is yet affectionately referred to by the Martians as the “father of the canals,” the Lunarians for 7,000 years never got a kik. However, what they had already received was enough to make every member of the colony many times a millionaire if they had divided it amongst them. But this they did not do. The Lunarians are socialists and they regarded this money as belonging to the whole Lunarian race, to those at home on the moon as much as to themselves. They invested it to the best advantage in various enterprises, consuming on themselves only what their simple and modest personal wants required. The bonus or subsidy of 100 kiks per acre generally paid the entire cost of construction and the Lunarians had their interest money. At the death of the king there was one year’s interest due amounting to 1,000,000 kiks. The successor to the throne was not satisfied with the contract to pay a dividend on the stock the Lunarians held in the canals, and in fact repudiated it all except the 1,000,000 kiks then due which he said he would pay when he got around to it. But he never did, and the claim continued to draw interest which was computed and audited at the beginning of each subsequent reign, but always put off for some reason or other and not paid.”

“Why didn’t they foreclose their mortgage?” I asked.

“Well they did not want to do that until they were ready to improve the property so as to make it earn something. They reasoned that the canal claim, as it was called, was making money at a tremendous rate. The interest on it 2,000 years ago or, over 6,000 years after the work on the canals was commenced, amounted to thousands of millions of kiks every minute, and they had not been able to devise any plan by which they could make any satisfactory use of the mortgaged property; and so they let the money remain in the canal fund.”

“But,” said I, “suppose it was earning so many millions of kiks, I don’t see what good it did them if they never got it.”

“Why you see,” he replied, “they got out of it in that shape, all they could have got if the money had been in their hands. And it was safe. It could not be stolen and nobody would be tempted to assassinate the owners in order to get it. When people have such enormous fortunes they can come into personal contact with only a small portion of them. An individual owning many millions can only use on himself a few hundreds or thousands, and the rest of it buys him nothing but the respect homage, consideration, obsequiousness and sycophancy of the crowd. For all this he does not have to pay a cent, but must own or be supposed to own millions. The funds which our Lunarians owned in canal stock made them the lions of Mars. Their personal abilities, accomplishments and graces would have done that anyway, with a certain class, but the addition of all that wealth gave them an influence and consideration amongst the mass of people who had no great appreciation of any other sort of merit.

“All sorts of odd stories concerning the wealthy foreigners found circulation amongst the masses. Once it was reported that if the canal funds were not paid before the next Christmas, the Lunarians intended to fill up all the canals again. It was well known for ages that there was not enough money on Mars to pay the canal debt, or even its accumulation for one year. Not very long ago it became reported that the Lunarians had sold their claims to capitalists on the earth, and that the latter were going to get out an attachment for Mars, bid it off at sheriff’s sale and take it for another moon to the earth. The story even settled the route it was to run on—half way between the earth and the moon.”

“That was a likely tale indeed!” said I. “They didn’t know our capitalists very well or they wouldn’t have imagined them going into a scheme that did not promise to pay pretty big.”

“O, but it was to pay well as they had it planned. First the speculators were to sell short for future delivery all the gas and standard oil stocks in the world: then they were to bargain with the various great cities to furnish additional moonlight at so much for each added moon power, measured by our moon. They calculated that Mars placed 120,000 miles from the earth would reflect upon the earth 16 times as much light as the moon does. This would make the night about as bright as day. This would reduce the value of oil and gas stocks almost to nothing and the speculators would then buy them up for delivery on their sale contracts and make an enormous sum. The most of the Martians were keen for the enterprise to be consummated. They said that they would gain more than the earth by the change, for both the earth and moon would act as moons for Mars, and he would get four times as much light from the earth as he would give it. He would also get far more light and heat from the sun than he did where he was. When it was announced that the story was a hoax many people were actually disappointed. Others said they were glad to have escaped the disgrace of being sold out at a bankrupt sale and degraded from a full fledged planet to a mere satellite to be towed off to play second fiddle to another world.”

“But how did they think Mars was to moved over to the earth?”

“O they supposed the Lunarians were going to see to that part of it. They had got the idea the Lunarians could do anything.”

“But could they have accomplished such an undertaking as that?”

“That question was never settled; but they would not have done it if they could. The Lunarians always felt very much mortified that the moon is only a satellite and not a full planet. They have got some little satisfaction, however, in the great amount of attention, the moon has always received from the people of the earth. In old times in fact the earthlings used to pay divine honors to our globe, as well they might. But if Mars were to become a satellite of the earth it is easy to see he would monopolize all the attention that has heretofore been lavished on us. We wouldn’t like that. No it looks as if you may depend upon it, the Lunarians would never lend themselves to a scheme like that. But a hoax like that has wonderful vitality.

“A little over a thousand years ago the Lunarians began to think of foreclosing their mortgage. They had the polar regions of Mars quietly explored, and were agreeably surprised to find large deposits of coal, iron, gold, silver, tin, copper and many other metals and valuable minerals. They were already posted as to the nature of the little moons Jack-Deimos and Lucy-Phobos. It was a difficult and perilous task to effect a landing on them, but after much effort it was accomplished. It was found that Jack Deimos, which by the way is about seven miles in diameter and twenty-two in circumference—you could ride clear around it on a bicycle in four hours—is about one-half iron, the rest rock containing gold, silver, lead and tin. Deimos always has the same side turned toward Mars, and on the opposite side is a lake about a mile in diameter and frozen solid to the bottom, which melts down a few inches every day and freezes up again at night. There is a little thin air, that does not extend more than one or two hundred yards high. The mass of this little moon is so small that its attraction for anything on it is very slight. An ordinary man weighs less than an ounce. He is considerably lighter on the side toward Mars than he is on the opposite side. One might stand on that side and shoot an arrow toward Mars, and it would not return to him, but continue its flight till it reached the planet.

“There is in several places quite a growth of a hardy plant something like an alga, although the temperature on the shady side is 40° below 0. It is hot on the sunny side. The difficulty of getting on this little moon is due to its small attractive power. When we approach a large body, such as the Moon or Mars its attraction draws us after it and gradually brings us to its surface. But Deimos attracts with so little force that we have to get up speed and force from some other body and so run alongside and catch him. He flies around his orbit at the astonishing speed of 3,610½ miles an hour or more than 50 miles a minute. In order to get up such a speed as that our folks had to go off a million miles from Mars in a direction opposite to the sun and then allow themselves to fall toward Mars until they were near the orbit of Deimos; then they turned on repulsion which sheered them off and caused them to describe an orbit around Mars in the same direction as that of Deimos. Deimos passed them several times before they could get into his attraction close enough to be pulled in by him.

“They afterwards boarded Lucy-Phobos in the same way. Her attraction is a little stronger than Jack’s as she is over eight miles in diameter. But her speed is still more terrific than his as she goes at the rate of 4,777 miles an hour or more than 79.2 miles a minute. She, too, always presents the same face to Mars.

“Having made up their minds how they would improve the property when they got it, they informed the King that they desired to foreclose the mortgage. He made no defense and instructed the authorities to throw no obstacles in the way. The foreclosure was advertised in the usual way and when the day of sale arrived there was the usual crowd of loafers, but no bidders except the Lunarians. They bid three million kiks for the whole outfit—one million each for the two frigid zones and one million for the two satellites, and the property was of course knocked down to them, considering the importance of the sale it was a quiet, tame affair.—The King was not a little displeased when he found they had bid in the property for less than the billion, billion, billionth part of their claim, thus leaving the debt practically unreduced. He supposed they would bid the face of their claim and thus wipe out the debt. Still, however, he made no attempt at redemption; in fact nobody would have given any more for the property than was bid. The title was confirmed to them by the court and they entered into possession.”