  Grimm. How gloriously the sun sets to-night. Moor. When I was a boy, my favorite thought was, that I should live and die like yonder glorious orb. It was a boyish thought. Grimm. True, captain. The Robbers. "Peace, base calumniators," exclaimed Tom King, aroused from his toothpick reverie by these aspersions of the best part of creation. "Peace, I say. None shall dare abuse that dear devoted sex in the hearing of their champion, without pricking a lance with him in their behalf. What do you, either of you, who abuse woman in that wholesale style, know of her? Nothing—less than nothing; and yet you venture, upon your paltry experience, to lift up your voices and decry the sex. Now I do know her; and upon my own experience avouch, that, as a sex, woman, compared with man, is as an angel to a devil. As a sex, woman is faithful, loving, self-sacrificing. We 'tis that make her otherwise; we, selfish, exacting, neglectful men; we teach her indifference, and then blame her apt PLEDGE OF THE HIGHWAYMAN Come, fill up a bumper to Eve's fairest daughters, Who have lavished their smiles on the brave and the free; Toast the sweethearts of Dudley, Hind, Wilmot, and Waters, Whate'er their attraction, whate'er their degree. Pledge! pledge in a bumper, each kind-hearted maiden, Whose bright eyes were dimmed at the highwayman's fall; Who stood by the gallows with sorrow o'erladen, Bemoaning the fate of the gallant Du-Val! Here's to each lovely lass chance of war bringeth near one, Whom, with manner impassioned, we tenderly stop; And to whom, like the lover addressing his dear one, In terms of entreaty the question we pop. How oft, in such case, rosy lips have proved sweeter Than the rosiest book, bright eyes saved a bright ring; While that one other kiss has brought off a repeater, And a bead as a favor—the favorite string. With our hearts ready rifled, each pocket we rifle, With the pure flame of chivalry stirring our breasts; Life's risk for our mistress's praise is a trifle; And each purse as a trophy our homage attests. Then toss off your glasses to all girls of spirit, Ne'er with names, or with number, your memories vex; Our toast, boys, embraces each woman of merit, And, for fear of omission, we'll drink the WHOLE SEX. "Well," replied Dick, replenishing King's rummer, while he laughed heartily at his ditty, "I shan't refuse your toast, though my heart don't respond to your sentiments. Ah, Tom! the sex you praise so much will, I fear, prove your undoing. Do as you please, but curse me if ever I pin my "The four cautions," said King; "what are they?" "Did you never hear them?" replied Dick. "Attend, then, and be edified." THE FOUR CAUTIONS Pay attention to these cautions four, And through life you will need little more, Should you dole out your days to threescore Beware of a pistol before! Before! before! Beware of a pistol before! And when backward his ears are inclined, And his tail with his ham is combined, Caution two you will bear in your mind: Beware of a prancer behind! Behind! behind! Beware of a prancer behind! Thirdly, when in the park you may ride, On your best bit of blood, sir, astride, Chatting gay to your old friend's young bride: Beware of a coach at the side! At the side! at the side! Beware of a coach at the side! Lastly, whether in purple or gray, Canter, ranter, grave, solemn, or gay, Whate'er he may do or may say, Beware of a priest every way! Every way! every way! Beware of a priest every way! "Well," said Tom King, "all you can sing or say don't alter my good opinion of the women. Not a secret have I from the girl of my heart. She could have sold me over and "It is not too late," said Dick. "Your Delilah may yet hand you over to the Philistines." "Then I shall die in a good cause," said King; "but The Tyburn Tree Has no terrors for me, Let better men swing—I'm at liberty. I shall never come to the scragging-post, unless you turn topsman, Dick Turpin. My nativity has been cast, and the stars have declared I am to die by the hand of my best friend—and that's you—eh? Dick?" "It sounds like it," replied Turpin; "but I advise you not to become too intimate with Jack Ketch. He may prove your best friend, after all." "Why, faith, that's true," replied King, laughing; "and if I must ride backwards up Holborn Hill, I'll do the thing in style, and honest Jack Ketch shall never want his dues. A man should always die game. We none of us know how soon our turn may come; but come when it will, I shall never flinch from it. As the highwayman's life is the fullest of zest, So the highwayman's death is the briefest and best; He dies not as other men die, by degrees, But at once! without flinching—and quite at his ease! as the song you are so fond of says. When I die it will not be of consumption. And if the surgeon's knife must come near me, it will be after death. There's some comfort in that reflection, at all events." "True," replied Turpin, "and, with a little alteration, my song would suit you capitally: There is not a king, should you search the world round, So blithe as the king's king, Tom King, to be found; Dear woman's his empire, each girl is his own, And he'd have a long reign if he'd let 'em alone. Ha, ha!" "Ha, ha!" laughed Tom. "And now, Dick, to change the subject. You are off, I understand, to Yorkshire to-night. 'Pon my soul, you are a wonderful fellow—an alibi personified!—here and everywhere at the same time—no wonder you are called the flying highwayman. To-day in town—to-morrow at York—the day after at Chester. The devil only knows where you will pitch your quarters a week hence. There are rumors of you in all counties at the same moment. This man swears you robbed him at Hounslow; that on Salisbury Plain; while another avers you monopolize Cheshire and Yorkshire, and that it isn't safe even to hunt without pops in your pocket. I heard some devilish good stories of you at D'Osyndar's t'other day; the fellow who told them to me little thought I was a brother blade." "You flatter me," said Dick, smiling complacently; "but it's no merit of mine. Black Bess alone enables me to do it, and hers be the credit. Talking of being everywhere at the same time, you shall hear what she once did for me in Cheshire. Meantime, a glass to the best mare in England. You won't refuse that toast, Tom. Ah! if your mistress is only as true to you as my nag to me, you might set at naught the tightest hempen cravat that was ever twisted, and defy your best friend to hurt you. Black Bess! and God bless her! And now for the song." Saying which, with much emotion, Turpin chanted the following rhymes: BLACK BESS Let the lover his mistress's beauty rehearse, And laud her attractions in languishing verse; Be it mine in rude strains, but with truth to express, The love that I bear to my bonny Black Bess. From the west was her dam, from the east was her sire, From the one came her swiftness, the other her fire; No peer of the realm better blood can possess Than flows in the veins of my bonny Black Bess. Look! Look! how that eyeball grows bright as a brand! That neck proudly arches, those nostrils expand! Mark! that wide flowing mane! of which each silky tress Might adorn prouder beauties—though none like Black Bess. Mark! that skin sleek as velvet, and dusky as night, With its jet undisfigured by one lock of white; That throat branched with veins, prompt to charge or caress Now is she not beautiful?—bonny Black Bess! Over highway and by-way, in rough and smooth weather, Some thousands of miles have we journeyed together; Our couch the same straw, and our meal the same mess No couple more constant than I and Black Bess. By moonlight, in darkness, by night, or by day, Her headlong career there is nothing can stay; She cares not for distance, she knows not distress: Can you show me a courser to match with Black Bess? "Egad! I should think not," exclaimed King; "you are as sentimental on the subject of your mare, as I am when I think of my darling Susan. But pardon my interruption. Pray proceed." "Let me first clear my throat," returned Dick; "and now to resume:" Once it happened in Cheshire, near Dunham, I popped On a horseman alone, whom I speedily stopped; That I lightened his pockets you'll readily guess— Quick work makes Dick Turpin when mounted on Bess. Now it seems the man knew me; "Dick Turpin," said he, "You shall swing for this job, as you live, d'ye see;" I laughed at his threats and his vows of redress; I was sure of an alibi then with Black Bess. The road was a hollow, a sunken ravine, Overshadowed completely by wood like a screen; I clambered the bank, and I needs must confess, That one touch of the spur grazed the side of Black Bess. Brake, brook, meadow, and plough'd field, Bess fleetly bestrode, As the crow wings her flight we selected our road; We arrived at Hough Green in five minutes, or less— My neck it was saved by the speed of Black Bess. Stepping carelessly forward, I lounge on the green, Taking excellent care that by all I am seen; Some remarks on time's flight to the squires I address, But I say not a word of the flight of Black Bess. I mention the hour—it was just about four— Play a rubber at bowls—think the danger is o'er; When athwart my next game, like a checkmate at chess, Comes the horsemen in search of the rider of Bess. What matter details? Off with triumph I came; He swears to the hour, and the squires swear the same; I had robbed him at four!—while at four they profess I was quietly bowling—all thanks to Black Bess! Then one halloo, boys, one loud cheering halloo! To the swiftest of coursers, the gallant, the true! For the sportsman unborn shall the memory bless Of the horse of the highwayman, bonny Black Bess! THE DOUBLE CROSS Though all of us have heard of crost fights, And certain gains, by certain lost fights, I rather fancies that it's news, How in a mill, both men should lose; For vere the odds are thus made even, It plays the dickens with the steven; Besides, against all rule they're sinning, Vere neither has no chance of vinning. Ri, tol, lol, &c. Two milling coves, each vide avake, Vere backed to fight for heavy stake: But in the mean time, so it vos, Both kids agreed to play a cross; Bold came each buffer To make it look a tightish match; They peeled 'Tvos six to four, but few vere taking. Ri, tol, lol, &c. Quite cautiously the mill began, For neither knew the other's plan; Each cull Of vot might be his neighbor's mark; Resolved his fibbing Nor yet to pay him back in kind; So on each other kept they tout, And sparred a bit, and dodged about, Ri, tol, lol, &c. Vith mawleys As if to plant a heavy thwack: Straight threatened Tommy with a topper; 'Tis all my eye! no claret flows, No facers sound—no smashing blows— Five minutes pass, yet not a hit, How can it end, pals?—vait a bit. Ri, tol, lol, &c. Each cove vas teazed with double duty, To please his backers, yet play booty; Ven, luckily for Jem, a teller Vos planted right upon his smeller; Down dropped he, stunned; ven time vas called, Seconds in vain the seconds bawled; The mill is o'er, the crosser crost, The loser's von, the vinner's lost! Ri, tol, lol, &c. The party assumed once more a lively air, and the glass was circulated so freely, that at last a final charge drained the ample bowl of its contents. "The best of friends must part," said Dick; "and I would willingly order another whiff of punch, but I think we have all had enough to satisfy us, as you milling coves have it, Zory! Your one eye has got a drop in it already, old fellow; and, to speak the truth, I must be getting into the saddle without more delay, for I have a long ride before me. And now, friend Jerry, before I start, suppose you tip us one of your merry staves; we haven't heard your pipe to-day, and never a cross cove of us all can throw off so prime a chant as yourself. A song! a song!" "Ay, a song!" reiterated King and the Magus. "You do me too much honor, gemmen," said Jerry, modestly, taking a pinch of snuff; "I am sure I shall be most happy. My chants are all of a sort. You must make all due allowances—hem!" And, clearing his throat, he forthwith warbled THE MODERN GREEK (Not translated from the Romaic.) Come, gemmen, name, and make your game, See, round the ball is spinning. Black, red, or blue, the colors view, Une, deux, cinque, 'tis beginning, Then make your game, The color name, While round the ball is spinning. This sleight of hand my flat shall land While covered by my bonnet, I plant my ball, and boldly call, Come make your game upon it! Thus rat-a-tat! I land my flat! 'Tis black—not red—is winning. At gay roulette was never met A lance like mine for bleeding! I'm ne'er at fault, at nothing halt, All other legs preceding. To all awake, I never shake A mag Blind-hookey sees how well I squeeze The well-packed cards in shuffling. EcartÉ, whist, I never missed, A nick the broads Mogul or loo, The same I do, I am down to trumps as trippet! French hazard ta'en, I nick the main, Was ne'er so prime a caster. No crabs for me, I'm fly, d'ye see; The bank shall change its master. Seven quatre, trois, The stakes are high! Ten mains! ten mains are mine, pals! At Rouge et Noir, you hellite I'll make no bones of stripping; One glorious coup for me shall do, While they may deal each pip in. Trente-un-aprÈs Ne'er clogs my way; The game—the game's divine, pals. At billiards set, I make my bet, I'll score and win the rub, pals; I miss my cue, my hazard, too, But yet my foe I'll drub, pals. That cannon-twist, I ne'er had missed, Unless to suit my views, pals. To make all right, the match look tight, This trick, you know, is done, pals; But now be gay, I'll show my play— Hurrah! the game is won, pals. No hand so fine, No wrist like mine, No odds I e'er refuse, pals. Then choose your game; whate'er you name, To me alike all offers; Chic-hazard, whist, whate'er you list, Replenish quick your coffers. Thus, rat-a-tat! I land my flat! To every purse I speak, pals. Cramped boxes 'ware, all's right and fair, Barred balls I bar when goaded; The deuce an ace is out of place! The deuce a die is loaded! Then make your game, Your color name; Success attend the Greek, pals. "Bravo, Jerry—bravissimo!" chorused the party. "And now, pals, farewell!—a long farewell!" said Dick, in a tone of theatrical valediction. "As I said before, the best "Egad! I hope not," said King. "I'm afraid, in that case, the chances would be against us." "Well, then, the success we anticipate, if you prefer it," rejoined Dick. "I have only to observe one thing more, namely, that I must insist upon standing Sam upon the present occasion. Not a word. I won't hear a syllable. Landlord, I say—what oh!" continued Dick, stepping out of the arbor. "Here, my old Admiral of the White, what's the reckoning?—what's to pay, I say?" "Let ye know directly, sir," replied mine host of the Falstaff. "Order my horse—the black mare," added Dick. "And mine," said King, "the sorrel colt. I'll ride with you a mile or two on the road, Dick; perhaps we may stumble upon something." "Very likely." "We meet at twelve, at D'Osyndar's, Jerry," said King, "if nothing happens." "Agreed," responded Juniper. "What say you to a rubber at bowls, in the mean time?" said the Magus, taking his everlasting pipe from his lips. Jerry nodded acquiescence. And while they went in search of the implements of the game, Turpin and King sauntered gently on the green. It was a delicious evening. The sun was slowly declining, and glowed like a ball of fire amid the thick foliage of a neighboring elm. Whether, like the robber Moor, Tom King was touched by this glorious sunset, we pretend not to determine. Certain it was that a shade of inexpressible melancholy passed across his handsome countenance, as he gazed in the direction "What ails you, Tom?" said he, with much kindness of manner—"are you not well, lad?" "Yes, I am well enough," said King; "I know not what came over me, but looking at Harrow, I thought of my school days, and what I was then, and that bright prospect reminded me of my boyish hopes." "Tut—tut," said Dick, "this is idle—you are a man now." "I know I am," replied Tom, "but I have been a boy. Had I any faith in presentiments, I should say this is the last sunset I shall ever see." "Here comes our host," said Dick, smiling. "I've no presentiment that this is the last bill I shall ever pay." The bill was brought and settled. As Turpin paid it, the man's conduct was singular, and awakened his suspicions. "Are our horses ready?" asked Dick, quickly. "They are, sir," said the landlord. "Let us be gone," whispered Dick to King; "I don't like this fellow's manner. I thought I heard a carriage draw up at the inn door just now—there may be danger. Be fly!" added he to Jerry and the Magus. "Now, sir," said he to the landlord, "lead the way. Keep on the alert, Tom." Dick's hint was not lost upon the two bowlers. They watched their comrades; and listened intently for any manifestation of alarm. |
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