[No. 359. Tuesday, April 22, 1712. Budgell.] Torva leaena lupum sequitur, lupus ipse capellam; Florentem cytisum sequitur lasciva capella. Virg. As we were at the club last night, I observed that my friend Sir Roger, contrary to his usual custom, sat very silent, and instead of minding what was said by the company, was whistling to himself in a very thoughtful mood, and playing with a cork. I jogged Sir Andrew Freeport {15} who sat between us; and as we were both observing him, we saw the knight shake his head and heard him say to himself, "A foolish woman! I can't believe it." Sir Andrew gave him a gentle pat upon the shoulder, and Will Honeycomb, who looks upon love as his particular province, interrupting our friend with a jaunty laugh, "I thought, knight," says he, "thou hadst lived long enough in the world not to pin thy happiness upon one that is a {15} woman and a widow. I think that without vanity I may pretend to know as much of the female world as any man in Great Britain, though the chief of my knowledge consists in this,—that they are not to be known." Will immediately, with his usual fluency, rambled into an {20} account of his own amours. "I am now," says he, "upon the verge of fifty" (though, by the way, we all knew he was turned of threescore). "You may easily guess," continued Will, "that I have not lived so long in the world without having had some thoughts of settling {25} in it, as the phrase is. To tell you truly, I have several times tried my fortune that way, though I can't much boast of my success. "I made my first addresses to a young lady in the "I made my next applications to a widow, and attacked her so briskly that I thought myself within a fortnight of her. As I waited upon her one morning, she told me that she intended to keep her ready money and jointure "A few months after, I addressed myself to a young {15} lady who was an only daughter and of a good family; I danced with her at several balls, squeezed her by the hand, said soft things, and, in short, made no doubt of her heart; and, though my fortune was not equal to hers, I was in hopes that her fond father would not {20} deny her the man she had fixed her affections upon. But, as I went one day to the house in order to break the matter to him, I found the whole family in confusion, and heard, to my unspeakable surprise, that Miss Jenny was that very morning run away with the butler. {25} "I then courted a second widow, and am at a loss to "After this I laid siege to four heiresses successively, and being a handsome young dog in those days, quickly made a breach in their hearts; but I don't know how it came to pass, though I seldom failed of getting the daughter's consent, I could never in my life get the old people {10} on my side. "I could give you an account of a thousand other unsuccessful attempts, particularly of one which I made some years since upon an old woman, whom I had certainly borne away with flying colours if her relations had not come {15} pouring in to her assistance from all parts of England; nay, I believe I should have got her at last, had not she been carried off by an hard frost." As Will's transitions are extremely quick, he turned from Sir Roger, and applying himself to me, told me {20} there was a passage in the book I had considered last Saturday which deserved to be writ in letters of gold; and taking out a pocket Milton, read the following lines, which are part of one of Adam's speeches to Eve after the fall: {25} "Oh! why did our Creator wise, that peopled highest Heaven With Spirits masculine, create at last This novelty on Earth, this fair defect Of Nature, and not fill the World at once {30} With men as Angels, without feminine; Or find some other way to generate Mankind? This mischief had not then befallen, And more that shall befall—innumerable Disturbances on Earth through female snares, {5} And straight conjunction He never shall find out fit mate, but such As some misfortune brings him, or mistake; Or whom he wishes most shall seldom gain, Through her perverseness, but shall see her gained {10} By a far worse, or, if she love, withheld By parents; or his happiest choice too late Shall meet, already linked and wedlock-bound To a fell adversary, his hate or shame: Which infinite calamity shall cause {15} To human life, and household peace confound." Sir Roger listened to this passage with great attention, and desiring Mr. Honeycomb to fold down a leaf at the place and lend him his book, the knight put it up in his pocket, and told us that he would read over those verses {20} again before he went to bed. X. |