  All stark and cold the merchant lay, All cold and stark lay he. And who hath killed this fair merchant? Now tell the truth to me. Oh, I have killed this fair merchant Will never again draw breath; Oh, I have made this fair merchant To come unto his death. Oh, why hast thou killed this fair merchant Whose corse I now behold? And why hast caused this man to lie In death all stark and cold? Oh, I have killed this fair merchant Whose kith and kin make moan, For that he hath stolen my precious time When he useth the telephone. The telephone bell rang full and clear; The receiver did I seize. "Hello!" quoth I, and quoth a girl, "Hello!... One moment, please." I waited moments ane and twa, And moments three and four, And then I sought that fair merchant And spilled his selfish gore. That business man who scorneth to waste His moments sae rich and fine In calling a man to the telephone Shall never again waste mine! And every time a henchwoman Shall cause me a moment's loss, I'll forthwith fare to that office And stab to death her boss. Rise up! Rise up! thou blessÉd knight! And off thy bended knees! Go forth and slay all folk who make Us wait "One moment, please." |
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